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Dwain's Top Five Philosophers
"You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tommorrow will bring."
"Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
"Whats the point of going out? You're just going to wind up back here anyway."
"Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep, in a blender."
"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding 'you're causing a scene'."
"Lord, guide this cinderblock."
"Imagination is more important than knolwedge, for knowledge is limited while imagination embraces the entire world."
"Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love."
"I would rather be an optimist and wrong, than a pessimist and right.
"God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean"
"The important thing is not to stop questioning."
"The course of true love never did run smoooth."
"We are as such stuff as dreams are made on and our little life is rounded with a sleep."
"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players."
"This above all: to thine own self be true"
"You pay a great deal too dear for what's given freely."
"Brevity is the soul of wit."
"We know what we are, but we know not what we might be."
"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without having civilization between."
"Bigomy is having one wife too many. Monogomy is the same."
"A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."
"Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much."
"Life is far too important to be taken seriously."
"I am not young ewnough to know everything."
"Why does everyone say my name like it means shut up?
"If I want to be selfish, that's my right as an immature brat!"
--more coming--