Heero Discovers Smarties.

Authors Note: ‘Tis I! Cleckmoon the insane. This is that start of a series,

where I imagine the impossible, and make it come trueeee! ::Mission Impossible

Theme Music Plays:: Hey! Where's that theme music coming from? ::music stops::

Anyhoo, in today's fic, Heero will seem to be acting OOC, but he's not. He's

just on a sugar high. A biiiig sugar high. Oh, yes, and HILDE! Take your

Relena-bashing ways away!

Kudos to Wolf Dragon for giving me inspiration. I kinda continue on it....

Oh yeah, I own none of these characters. I own none of these objects. Steve

Irwin is the Mackdaddy of all Australians. I'm not making any money, just

hundreds of smiles.

-Cleckmoon Montisple, Resident Pyrotechnician of Gundam Wing Base Of

Operations, Webmistress of Pyrotechnic Hyena Productions, GWBOO Garage

Mechanic, Holder of the Eternal Hydralisk. (Whoo!)

Duo lounged back on the recliner, watching TV. Heero enters, Duo ignores him,

engrosed with the TV show.

Heero glances over at the TV. "What are you watching?" he asks.

Duo keeps staring at the TV. "Crocodile Hunter". It's where this guy runs

around trying to find some of the most dangerous animals in the world, and see

what amazingly dangerous situations he can get it.

Wufei (AU: Woofie!) walked in, and saw the TV. He then grinned, and threw

himself at the couch. "Alright! Steve Irwin!"

"Lemmie guess." Heero added. "He's a weakling."

Wufei glared at Heero. "Steve Irwin is NOT weak! Steve is STRONG!"

"Terry's not bad either." Duo added.

Just then, Quatre skipped in. "Guess what!"

"What." Duo, Wufie, and Heero replied, not sounding very interested.

"I found all my Halloween candy from last year!"

"Halloween candy?" Heero asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well.... it's just the stuff I couldn't give away...." Quatre replied,

sweatdroping.

Duo looked over at Quatre. "Got Snickers?"

Quatre threw Duo some mini-Snickers bars. Heero grabbed the bag, and looked

inside.

"God, Quatre, you have an entire candy store in here." Heero commented. He

reached in, and grabbed a fistful of small, candy filled tubes. "What are

these?"

"Smarties. Try some, you might like them." Quarte commented, looking for some

gum.

Heero shrugged, and opened a roll, putting some in his mouth. Oddly sweet, yet

tangy. Her tried some more. And some more. Soon, he was dumping whole rolls

into his mouth.

Duo looked over at Heero. "Hey, slow down, man!"

Heero sat down in front of the TV, still dumping smarties into his mouth,

watching Steve Irwin tackle some large and dangerous looking snake. Just then,

Trowa came in, slinking a slinkie. Heero looked over at him, eyes wide in

amazement.

"TROWA!!"

Trowa stood stock still, somehow pausing the slinkie in mid-slink. "Huh?"

Heero dove for Trowa, tackling him to the ground. Trowa and the slinkie went

flying. Heero jumped off of Trowa, and fell to his knees in an odd crouch,

looking at the slinkie.

"What the hell is WRONG with you?" Trowa shouted.

Duo looked at Trowa. "Wow, that's the most I've heard him say in months...."

Heero just kept looking at the slinkies. Then he starts talking to no one in

particular, in a weird austrailan accent.

"Whoah there mate! Looks like we got ourselves a silver back slinker! Now,

these things can be quite feisty, so ya wanna stay away when commin up on these

in the wild. I'm just gonna see if I can pick the blighter up...." Heero

carefully picked up the slinkie by the "tail", and held it at arm's length.

Wufei just looked at Heero. "His mind is gone..."

Heero just kept staring at the slinkie, moving it carefully, like it was a

real snake. Suddenly, the slinkie jumps, and Heero grabs it by the head. He

then trips over backwards, wrestling with the slinkie.

"Agh! Get the bloody thing off!" Heero yelled, rolling on the floor with the

slinkie. He then stars to slam the slinkie into the floor.

"Hey! That's my slinkie!" Trowa protests, but Heero ignores him. He leaps up,

pulls out his gun, and fires several rounds at the slinkie, into the floor.

"Oh my god, he killed slinkie!" Quatre yelled in a high pitched voice.

"You bastard! You wrecked the carpeting!" Duo shouted.

Heero just put his gun back. "Hadda put the poor thing down. It's a necessary

thing, sometimes."

"Don't give me that crap! We just got all the bloodstains out from last week,

and now you gotta go shooting damn holes in it!" Duo yelled back.

The doorbell rang. Before any one could stop him, Heero rushed off to the

door. He flung it open, and lo and behold, there stood Relena.

"Hi Heero, I need Quatre to sign some stuff for the Colony Unification

Agr...... Gah!" her sentence was cut off as Heero grabbed her, and dipped her

passionately.

"Relena, my love, cant you ever understand my work, how I must be out there,

searching. It's what I do. I cant abandon my duties." Heero said in a low

voice, laced with romance. He then began kissing her deeply.

Duo came up at that moment. "Heero! There's a crocodile in the living room!"

Heero dropped Relena in an instant, and dashed off. "Whooo hooo!"

Relena, dazed from the fall and Heero's oddly enthusiastic greeting, just sat

on the stoop. "Wow.."

Duo helped Relena get up, and then the both heard a scream from the living

room.

"INJUSTICE! Get away from me with that rope you... ARRGGGGHHH!"

Relena scratched her head. "What's up with Heero?"

"Get the restraint jacket! Trowa! Wake up and stop mourning the slinkie!"

"My slinkie..."

Duo shrugged. "Uh, we were watching TV, Quatre came down with some candy,

Heero started inhaling the smarties, and then Trowa came in, and Heero was

attacked by a slinkie."

"AGH!!! Get away from me!"

"Yer a big boy, aintcha! Your alright! Your alright! What a beauty, must be

about sixteen years old, with big ‘ol teeth ‘n beautiful lookin scales on ‘im!

Lemmie see if I can wrestle him.."

"Oh no you dont!"

"TROWA! It was a SLINKIE!"

"My slinkie...."

"Gotcha, mate!"

"Gerrof!! KAMI!!!"

"Give me the damn slinkie!"

"He's a feisty one, aintcha boy!"

"KISMAAAAA!!!!"

Relena looked into the living room, where cacaos ensued. Heero was wrestling

Wufie, and Quatre was strangling Trowa with the slinkie.

Relena rushed in, and bonked everyone's heads together. "What in the HELL are

you doing?"

Quatra errfed, looking ashamed. "He wouldn't put down the damn slinkie."

"Thats no excuse for choking him!"

Trowa mumbled something, looking catatonic. "Slinkie.... Slinkie..."

By now, Wufei had gotten Heero into the straight jacket.

"Wot a bloody Lunker! Might be in a bit ‘o trouble this time..." Heero

shouted, struggling against the jacket.

"For god's sake, Shut up! Just shut the hell up!" Wufei shouted back.

"Wufei, let him go." Relena interrupted.

"What?!?"

"Let him go."

"But he might try....."

"Yee haa!" Heero yelled, somehow twisting his way out of Wufei's grip. He ran

away, jumping over various objects.

"...That" Wufei finished.

Everyone erffed as there was a huge crashing sound on the stairs.

"I'm alright! I'm alright! Just seem to be bleeding a bit! No worries....

AGH!" Heero shouted, another large crashing sound coming from the stairs. "Oh,

jeze! Will ya look at that, my leg's all twisted up. That's gonna need a

brace."

"Heero, you idiot!" Relena said, running over to where Herro was lying, at the

bottom of the stairs, bleeding from a really big gash on his arm and his leg

twisted at an odd angle.

Heero looked up at Relena, having not really noticing her since the little

doorway scene. "Relena! What are you doing here? It's too dangerous!"

"Your at the bottom of the stairs, in a restraint jacket, bleeding."

"Relena, leave me! Save yourself!"

Relena sighed, and tromped back to the kitchen. She came out with a custard

doughnut.

Heero saw the doughnut, somehow got up, and limped over towards Relena. He was

starting to look a little tired... Then he fell over on top of Relena.

"Gah!" Relena yelled, trying to push Heero off. Heero looked down into her

eyes, hisPrussion blue orbs clouding over in sugar crash.

"Relena, I..... Zzzzz......." Heero passed out into the realm of sleep.

Relena looked around the room, still pinned to the floor. "Wil somebody HELP

ME UP?!?"

Duo, who had been watching the whole thing, gave Relena a thumbs up and a

grin. "Dude, that was amazing! ‘Lena, we gotta get Heero hyper more often."

"Duo, that's really nice feedback, but my rib cage is being compressed and I

cant BREATHE!!" Relena croaked out.

Duo came out of his little fantasy world, and rolled Heero off of poor Relena.

Relena sat up, and punched Duo in the face.

"Pervert.." She muttered as she stalked out of the door. Duo rubbed his face

when he had been hit.

"Man, whatever happened to pacifism?"

-THE END

Big props to JAG, Hilde, and Goku for helping me finish this thing AND give me

ideas. Also, Thanks Jacqueline for reading the draft, and giving me insight to

your caffeine-induced lifestyle.

"I'm not a pacifist, I'm a PAC-A-FIST!"