Title: Bedside Vigil
Author: River Wolf
Email: lonewolf7d@wildmail.com
Universe: Old West
Category: Smarm; h/c
Rating/Warning: PG; No warning except for an absence of a real plot.
Summary: Just a little fluff piece where JD gets sick and Buck takes care of him. Special thanks to Carole for all her help.


Part One

Buck pulled the lapels of his slicker tighter across his lanky frame as the sky let forth another burst of freezing rain. He’d been warm and dry inside the saloon, but the nagging worry that JD had gotten caught in this downpour made that kind of comfort hard to bear. He’d just check the livery to see if JD’s horse was bedded down and then he could go back to the company of Blossom and another glass of whiskey.

He shook off the hood of his soaked jacket as he entered the safety of the barn, his eyes immediately falling on the empty stall where JD’s bay should have been. A chill ran down his spine and the nagging turned into fear. Chris had sent him to deliver a message to the Smith’s over three hours ago and the kid should have easily gotten back before the rain hit. Normally Buck would have thought it awfully funny that JD’s dilly dallying would have gotten him drenched, but he knew the boy hadn’t been feeling too well the last couple of days and the cold rain would probably finish him off. Besides, the thought of JD alone and miserable made his heart ache.

Buck sighed and opened the latch to his horse’s stall and quickly threw a blanket on the mare’s back. “Sorry, girl, but looks like we’re both gonna get a bath tonight.”

The grey whinnied and tossed her head in protest and Buck patted her neck. An answering neigh and the sound of plodding hooves drew his attention toward the entrance and he quickly abandoned his task when he saw the glistening bay and its slumped rider.

“Aw, hell, kid.” Buck made his way to the body barely hanging onto the saddle horn. JD turned his head slightly, his face eerily pale and his thin coat soaked through and plastered to his shoulders.

“Got caught in the storm.” JD said softly between chattering teeth.

“I see that.” Buck’s immediate sense of relief was swiftly being replaced with worry again as he looked into the kid’s glazed eyes. “Why don’t you come on down so we can get you into some dry clothes?”

JD blinked slowly as if he had to decipher what the words meant and Buck pulled the kid’s boot from the stirrup and patted his leg to get him moving. JD drew up his knee, his movements too weak and slow for Buck’s liking. He quickly made his way around to the other side just as JD slid out of the saddle, catching the kid as his unsteady limbs buckled.

“Whoa, boy. You okay?” Buck laid the back of his palm across JD’s clammy forehead, alarmed but not surprised, at the heat radiating from the kid’s body.

“I’m fine, Buck.” JD verbally protested, but he didn’t have either the strength or the will to fight the older man’s firm grip.

“Yeah, I can see that too.” Buck shook his head and maneuvered his arms out of his raincoat and wrapped it around JD’s shivering body.

“Just got an awful headache. I gotta take care of my horse, first, Buck.” JD stepped away, stumbling heavily against the stall door.

Buck steadied his young friend again, looking into his pain-filled eyes and knowing the stubborn kid was a lot sicker than he was trying to let on. “I’ll send somebody back to bed her down, kid. Right now you’ve got to get warmed up and dried out.” Buck leaned down and threw JD’s arm around his shoulder and heaved him into his side. “Now hush up and come with me.”

Buck thought the boy was going to argue again, but he felt JD slump weakly and he pulled him in tighter and made his way back outside and toward Nathan’s.


Nathan settled back and listened briefly to the rain pelting hard against the roof before turning up the lamp at his desk and reaching for book he’d started earlier. The rumbling of heavy footsteps on the landing signaled an end to his peaceful evening and he opened the door in time for Buck to drag JD in out of the downpour.

“What happened?” Nathan asked as he helped Buck remove the slicker from JD’s semi-conscious form.

“He’s been acting kinda sick for a couple of days now, I guess this weather just did him in.” Buck held JD close as Nathan moved down to remove his waterlogged boots and by the time they’d finished peeling off the kid’s wet clothing, both men were nearly saturated as well. The healer felt the chill from the cold water staining his shirt and a wave of empathy washed over him for the shivering young man still in Buck’s arms. Nathan quickly dried JD as best he could with a towel and helped Buck move him onto the bed.

Buck pulled the sheets up around the kid’s bare torso, tucking under the corners of the extra quilt Nathan spread across him. JD let out a dry cough and moaned, rolling over to half-press his face in the pillow as he curled in on himself.

Nathan pushed back the boy’s matted dark hair, the burning signs of fever evident underneath the chill of his skin. JD coughed again, his brow creased with pain as his body spasmed with the effort.

“Aw, kid.” Buck’s voice cracked as he knelt on one knee beside the bed, picking up the damp towel and stroking the dark hair rhythmically as if his actions could ease the agony written on the young man’s face. Nathan eased his hand under the covers, laying his palm flat against JD’s back. JD flinched, but the healer clearly felt the rattle in the boy’s lungs and the tightening muscles in his shoulders.

“JD.” Nathan gently rolled the young man onto his back. “JD, look at me.”

JD opened his eyes slowly, squinting even in the muted light of the oil lamp before his lids shut again.

“JD, where do you hurt? Your chest?” Nathan pulled down the covers and pressed his fingers on either side of the kid’s breastbone.

“Uh huh.” JD groaned, swiping at Nathan’s hands to dislodge them. “Everything hurts and I’m freezin’.”

Nathan folded the quilt back under JD’s chin and felt the boy’s forehead again. “Alright, just try and rest, JD.” He figured it was probably a case of influenza, maybe even pneumonia, neither choice particularly appealing, but JD was young and stubborn so at least the odds were in his favor. Either way the kid was in for a rough time for the next few days.

“Buck, see if you can get some bedclothes on him.” Nathan pointed to the small trunk under the window. “And grab a couple more blankets, try to keep him warm as you can.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Buck asked as he stood to face the healer.

“Flu most likely, there’s been a few cases in the territory I’ve heard about lately. Could be its spread out this far already.” Nathan clearly read the fear in Buck’s eyes and he quickly tried to allay his friend’s concern. “He’s strong, Buck, and most folks don’t die from influenza unless they’re real young or real old.”

“Damn right, JD ain’t gonna die ‘cause I ain’t gonna let him.”

“I ain’t either. I’m gonna have to find out if anybody else has come down with it though. It’d be best if we both stay away from the townsfolk ‘til we know for sure what he’s got.”

Buck nodded and glanced back at JD curled up in the middle of the bed. Nathan knew telling Buck to not stay too close to the boy would be moot. Telling him that he increased his chances of catching whatever JD had wouldn’t even come close to being a deterrent, so he figured the next best thing would be to keep Buck away from everyone else.

Nathan threw another log on the fire as the lanky gunslinger retrieved the nightshirt and blankets. The healer silently mixed a few herbs into the store-bought medicine he hoped would help keep JD’s fever down until the sickness ran its course. At the very least he hoped it would make him feel better. He poured the mixture into a cup of water and carried it over to where Buck cradled the kid protectively against his chest as he worked limp arms through sleeves of the nightshirt. He waited until Buck had finished buttoning up the front of the garment and pulled the covers over JD’s huddled form.

“Raise him up a little so I can give him this.”

Buck gently slipped between the young man and the headboard, letting JD’s head rest against him. Nathan pressed the cup to the kid’s colorless lips and tipped the liquid slowly down his throat. JD gagged, another cough escaping with a spray of medicine.

Nathan waited until JD had recovered, then continued to pour more down him.

“Come on, son, drink up now.” Buck soothed as he cleaned up the spilled mess with the towel still within his reach.

JD swallowed hard, grimacing, and finally turning away from Nathan’s grip. He knew from experience that the boy was finished and no amount of coaxing or forcing would do any good. “Okay, that’s enough for now.”

Buck slid away, supporting JD with one long arm as the kid lowered himself back into his cocoon of blankets. Nathan hoped he was wrong about his diagnosis and that JD would recover quickly and without incident. That the fever and chills were merely a result of being out in the weather too long and not the start of an influenza outbreak. Nathan uttered a silent prayer for the rest of the surrounding territory, knowing that this illness was hard enough on someone as young and robust as JD, but was capable of wiping out a large number of the weaker population.

“Buck.” Nathan gently touched him on the shoulder and Buck turned worried eyes toward him. “I’m gonna check around, make sure other folks ain’t sick.”

“Okay, but tell Chris first. There’s no need to panic everybody before we’re sure.”

“I’ll do my best, but we might end up quarantining the town.”

Buck shook his head in frustration and Nathan knew exactly what he was thinking. That the majority of residents were clear-headed and rational, but were also easily led by the small percentage that looked for a reason to create a stampede. Nathan let out a heavy sigh and grabbed his coat and hat from the hook.

“I’ll be back later, just keep him warm and try to get him to drink as much water as you can. Keep his face cool, but keep them blankets on him, ‘cause he’ll be tryin’ to kick ‘em off as soon he starts sweatin’ out the fever.”

“Nathan, could you get one of the guys to bed down JD’s horse? I promised him I’d see she was taken care of.”

Nathan nodded. He hated to leave, but then again he figured Buck knew as much or more about how to take care of JD as he did. They’d be fine together until he returned. Now he only hoped the rest of the townspeople would be as lucky.


Buck rested his head back against the wall, a suffocating weight of dread filling his chest. He worried about the town and the potential death toll if Nathan was right, but for now all he could focus on was the sick kid beside him. He could hear JD’s ragged wheezing and his soft cries of misery with each exhaled breath and the sickening feeling of helplessness made Buck downright dizzy. Buck tousled JD’s hair with his fingers, in an attempt to finish drying the still damp locks. JD squirmed restlessly, rolling onto his back and using his legs to weakly push away the heavy covers.

“Whoa, there, boy, Nathan said to keep these on.” Buck pulled the displaced quilts back over the kid’s trembling form.

“Too hot.” JD complained and tried to squirm out from under the bedding again.

Buck held JD’s paddling legs in place with one hand. “You’ll get chilled again, just hang on a minute.” Buck sympathized. He knew that there was nothing more uncomfortable than burning up and freezing to death at the same time. He got up long enough to retrieve a clean hand towel and soak it in a basin of cool water.

He wrung out the rag and slowly rubbed JD’s face. Sweat disappeared briefly as he dragged the cloth around the curves of JD’s flushed cheeks and over the boy’s closed eyelids. The soothing touch seemed to satisfy him enough to stop most of his fidgeting and Buck was prepared to do this all night if it kept his young friend quiet. “Just relax, son. Try to get some sleep.”


JD tried to heed Buck’s wishes. He wanted nothing more than to escape into a blissful world of sleep, where his head didn’t feel like it’d been trampled by a herd of buffalo and his insides weren’t on fire. Honestly he wasn’t sure how he’d gotten back into town at all. He barely remembered going somewhere and then rain, cold and the blinding pain in his temples that made him dizzy enough to throw up at least three times before his horse brought him back to the livery.

He closed his eyes tighter, trying to make himself pass out, but that only made him more nauseous and his mind grow thicker with confusion. He had to be at Nathan’s, but he didn’t remember getting here. Actually, JD didn’t remember much of anything except the rush of the ground as he dismounted and Buck catching him before his face met musty straw. He groaned at the memory as well as the unrelenting agony that continued to seep through every fiber of his being. He writhed in a desperate attempt to ease the throbbing in his bones and an urgent need to escape the suffocating weight of the blankets pinning him down.

“JD, keep still, boy.” The big man’s voice sounded so stern that JD ignored his own demands and heeded those of Buck’s. JD rarely heard his easy-going friend use such a serious tone with him and it scared him a little. He must be really sick for him to be so worried.

JD felt the comforting touch of the cool rag across his face, shivering slightly as it was moved down to the side of his neck.

“That help?” Buck asked, his words now as soft as his touch as he continued his ministrations.

JD nodded as best he could. Truth was that Buck just being there helped. Despite the frustration of being too sick to lift his head off the pillow, knowing his best friend sat beside him made him feel safe.

Another wave of pain held him in its grip and he rolled onto his side in desperation wondering when Nathan’s miracle tea would begin to work. It already felt like an eternity since he swallowed that vile stuff and by damn it should be doing something by now. He could feel his eyelids growing heavier, but he was too miserable to sleep. The suffocating heat was quickly becoming replaced with chills again and his body continued to ache with bone-breaking intensity. God, he hated this.

JD flinched slightly as he felt Buck grasp the back of his neck with one hand, the older man’s limber fingers drawing firm circles at the base of his skull.

“Damn, JD, you’re tighter ‘n a…” Buck let his words trail off and JD would have laughed at the aborted ‘new bride’ joke if he hadn’t heard his friend use it a thousand times already. Besides, he was sure that anything more strenuous than breathing would make his head pop right off his shoulders.

“That’s it, just rest.” Buck’s voice faded into the noise building within the confines of his skull and JD knew he couldn’t hold onto consciousness much longer. His mind lulled by Buck’s soothing touch and the promise of relief from the painful pressure in his head. He’d be alright now. Even if he did feel like he was on death’s door, JD knew the grim reaper would have to fight his way through Buck before he could lay a hand on him.


Darkness spread quickly through the small room and Buck stood up to stretch the stiffness out of his muscles before turning up the lamp on the nightstand. His back creaked in protest from the awkward position he’d been sitting in for the past two hours and he wondered just when he’d gotten so damn old.

Yellow light chased out the shadows and gave him a better look at the sick young man still tossing restlessly in Nathan’s bed. It worried him that the healer hadn’t gotten back by now, especially since JD’s fever seemed to be spiking instead of breaking. Buck poured fresh water into the nearly empty basin to soak the hand towel and wipe down JD’s perspiring face for what seemed to be the thousandth time. He sat down on the edge of the mattress gingerly as JD mumbled something unintelligible and coughed again. Buck had let him get away with having only a top sheet covering his shivering body since JD seemed to expend most of his strength in trying to wriggle out from under the blankets. Despite Nathan’s orders, Buck knew JD’s tenacity would eventually win out anyway. No need for the poor kid to wear himself out in the process and the compromise seemed to be working. So far.

JD’s eyes snapped open, his pupils dilated and glazed over with confusion as he sat upright, looking first at him, then past his shoulder and at something Buck couldn’t see.

“JD?” Buck whispered as he cupped his hand over the boy’s clammy forehead. Heat burned into his palm as JD shook off the touch, his gaze never wavering from the dim corner of the room. “Do you want some water?”

“I knew she’d come.” JD ignored the question and smiled, his words coming out in a breathless heap, his statement a mix of joy and misery. “See, Buck, I told you.”

Buck’s heart clenched in fear as JD fought to free himself from the linens, his entire focus on the imaginary visitor across the room. “Who, JD? Who do you see, son?”

JD glanced at him as if that was the stupidest question he’d ever heard. Buck realized too late that he should have simply gone along with the delusion. JD grew more agitated as he tried to get up and Buck held him firm.

“Just wait, son. She’ll come to you.” Buck knew JD had a tendency to ‘see’ things when his fever raged and his primary concern was to keep the delirious kid in bed. Except JD was having none of it.

“No, she’s leaving.” JD’s voice piqued with urgency as he struggled against Buck’s hold, desperately reaching for the hallucination.

“JD!” Buck grasped the kid’s head between his hands, forcing him to look straight into his face. “Don’t fret, son. She’ll be back if you need her.”

JD’s body shook, his breathing coming in ragged gasps as tears welled, then mingled with sweat to trickle down his cheeks. Buck’s heart broke all over again. He wanted nothing more at this moment than to stop his young friend’s misery. But he couldn’t do anything more than he was already.

The wide hazel eyes seemed to clear and Buck took it as a sign that he’d shattered through the fevered dream. Relief enveloped him and he pulled JD tight against his body, his long fingers absently stroking the damp hair as he held him close. “Don’t worry, boy. Everything’ll be fine.”

Buck wrapped his arms around the shivering youth, savoring the relaxed form in his arms. Kid deserved a reprieve. Except. A cold feeling settled in the pit of Buck’s stomach that turned his comfort to anxiety. JD was too still.

Buck clutched his shoulders and held him away, trying to get a good look at his face. JD’s head lolled and Buck grabbed him with one hand before his neck whipped backwards. Buck’s pulse hammered in his temples even as he told himself that JD had merely passed out. He wasn’t dying. God, please let him be alright.

Buck lowered JD back against the sheets and placed his hand on the kid’s chest. A vigorous, steady rhythm thumped against his palm and Buck let out a squeaky sigh of relief. He laughed nervously, smoothing JD’s hair off his forehead. At least he was sleeping, that had to be good, right? Buck pulled the bulk of the blankets over JD’s slack form, a part of him wishing the kid would give him grief about it.

He retrieved the wet cloth, folding it carefully and laying it across JD’s heated forehead. Buck felt as if every ounce of strength had been sucked right out of his limbs and he eyed the small stretch of mattress longingly. If the bed had been a little wider he might have given in to his exhausted body’s desire for rest. Instead, he hovered close, keeping watch over his little brother in the belief that his vigilance would keep the boy safe.

Of course he’d feel a whole lot better if Nathan would just hurry up.


Part Two

Nathan trudged up the stairway toward his room, weary, but relieved to find out there had been no one else in town with JD’s symptoms. He quietly opened the door, hoping JD had already fallen into a much-needed sleep. The healer smiled at the sight of Buck’s long body leaned forward in his chair, his head resting near JD’s side. Both seemed to be sleeping soundly and Nathan hated to wake Buck, but feared the big man would be unable to walk if he spent too much time in that position.

“Buck.” Nathan whispered, gently shaking his friend’s shoulder until he sat upright. “Go lay down a bit.”

Buck shook his head. “I’m okay. I just dozed off for a minute.”

“No, get some rest. I’ll watch him and wake you if need be.” Nathan could tell Buck had worn himself to a frazzle already dealing with JD and to tell the truth he himself didn’t have the energy left to argue with him. His quiet night had already been shot and he needed Buck to be able to handle things for him come morning. And Nathan had a feeling they all had a couple of hard days ahead.

Nathan cupped JD’s forehead, hoping the fever hadn’t progressed. “How’s he doin’?”

Even as he asked the question he could sense the increased heat radiating from the kid’s colorless skin. JD groaned pitifully and tossed his head on the pillow. Nathan moved his hand down to the young man’s chest, concerned with the effort it took for JD to catch his breath.

“Fever’s up, ain’t it?” Buck’s eyes clouded with worry even before Nathan shook his head in agreement.

“Usually gets worse before it gets better. You should know that by now.” Nathan tried to keep his tone light to give Buck a little bit of hope. Then again maybe he was trying to convince himself just as much.

“Anybody else sick?” Buck asked.

“Naw. Not yet.” Nathan moved to the other side of the room and opened the medicine cabinet Josiah had helped him build. Since moving here he’d collected more supplies than he had space for. Good thing too, he thought as he reached for a jar of homemade liniment. Besides, he couldn’t afford to be naïve enough to think JD would be the only patient he’d have if this really was influenza. But that was something he’d worry about that when and if the time came.

“Go on, lay down.” Nathan tried to shoo the overprotective gunslinger away from JD’s bed, but Buck could be as hardheaded as his miniature shadow sometimes.

“I’m good. Besides, he needs somebody to stay with him.” Buck stared defiantly in spite of the weariness reflecting in his dark blue eyes.

“You’re not the only one who can take care of him, Buck.”

Nathan realized that he probably shouldn’t have been so harsh, but damn it, he was tired too and he didn’t need to spend his dwindling energy convincing Buck to take a nap. He could feel the indecision weighing on Buck’s mind, his face revealing a hint of hurt.

And he could almost hear the words Buck wanted to throw back at him. No, but I’m the best one. That was certainly the truth, but he knew that the stubborn mule would make himself sick trying to do everything for this boy and then it’d be up to Nathan to take care of his friends too.

“He’s gonna need you tomorrow. Best sleep now while you can.”

Buck sighed as understanding invaded his staunch defense. “Just for a little while.” He reached out to run his hand softly over JD’s sweat- soaked hair. “Rest easy, son, I’ll be here if you need me.”

Buck paused, as if waiting for JD to acknowledge his promise, but the kid didn’t open his eyes. He shuffled over to the extra cot and settled in quietly. Nathan knew it tore him up that he couldn’t do more. And truth was it tore him up too.

Nathan opened the salve then folded the blankets covering JD down to the boy’s stomach. The kid shivered as his nightshirt was unbuttoned, exposing his body to the chilly air. Nathan could feel Buck watching him, waiting for any whimper or cry to give him an excuse to get back up. The healer dipped his fingers into the balm and gently smoothed it into JD’s chest. JD moaned and flinched at the cold touch and Nathan could hear Buck getting up.

“You just get your pigheaded self back in that bed. He’ll be fine, I know what I’m doin’.” Nathan didn’t try to hide the hint of anger in his voice, knowing Buck wouldn’t listen to him unless he thought he meant business.

JD trembled violently, his breaths now coming in short gasps as he half-heartedly fought Nathan’s touch. “Easy, JD. I know it’s uncomfortable for a little while, but it’ll help, I promise.” He knew from experience that the initial iciness of the salve quickly turned to burning before it dissipated and started to work. Although, Nathan doubted JD understood much of anything more than pain or comfort right now, he still chastised himself for not warning the boy first.

“Shhhh, take it easy.” Nathan whispered as he finished quickly and replaced the blankets. JD continued to breathe in hitching half-sobs and Nathan rubbed his chest through the covers trying to calm him. “Just relax, JD.”

He could feel Buck’s gaze on him and turned. “He’s alright.”

He tried to say it with conviction, but he could tell Buck didn’t really believe him. It wasn’t until JD’s breathing finally evened out and the kid drifted off into an uneasy sleep that Buck lay back against the pillow and closed his eyes. Nathan knew the willpower it took for Buck to resist rushing to JD’s side and took it as a compliment that he trusted him that much.

He’d only hoped he’d earned it.


Buck slept fitfully, somewhere between the world of dreams and the nagging reality that wouldn’t let him go. He was asleep, yet still aware and able to hear and interpret every sound made in the tiny room. His conscious mind kicked into action as JD cried out his name and he bolted upright in the bed. He saw his sick friend struggling with Nathan and it took only a few seconds for him to assimilate that something was horribly wrong.

He moved quickly, ignoring the protesting stiffness in his body and latched onto JD’s flailing arm as he drew back to strike at Nathan. The kid fought them both, panic clouding his glazed eyes as he twisted violently to be rid of their hold.

“Get off me!” JD screamed, his voice raw with frustration and fear. “Buck, help!”

“JD! I’m right here. Look at me!” Nathan moved out of the way and Buck pinned JD’s arms to his sides, forcing the kid to look him in the face.

JD began to whimper like a wild animal caught in a steel trap, his energy quickly being consumed by his frantic outburst, but his fear not abating. “No, please.”

“It’s the fever, Buck. Just hold onto him, keep talking so he’ll figure out it’s you.” Nathan stayed back, apparently confident that Buck was doing just fine on his own.

“Let me go.” The meekness and the desperation in the boy’s voice crushed Buck’s heart. He hated seeing JD so sick, but the fact that he was afraid of him was almost more than he could take.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, son.” He felt the tears stinging in his eyes as he stared at the helpless youth in his grasp. “Ole Buck wouldn’t ever hurt you. You know that.”

JD stared at him, studying his features as if he were just waking up and pushing through the fog of sleep. “Buck?”

Buck could see a hint of recognition flash in the kid’s eyes and he pulled JD protectively against him. “Yeah, kid, it’s me. Everything’s gonna be alright now.”

He could feel JD’s heart hammering wildly as the boy labored to catch his breath. Buck looked up at Nathan, silently asking for advice as he absently stroked the kid’s sweat-soaked hair.

Nathan handed him a clean wet rag. “Just keep him calm as you can. I’m going fix some more tea.”

Buck wrapped the cloth around the back of JD’s neck, pulling him closer as he shivered from the cool touch. “It’s alright, son. You’re okay.” They were the only comforting words he could think of and, for some reason, they seemed to be working. Just a little. He could feel JD relax slightly, although his heart continued to race against Buck’s chest.

“JD, can you drink this?” Nathan asked, but the tone meant he wouldn’t take no for an answer. JD stiffened slightly as Buck adjusted a pillow behind him and leaned him against the headboard. The kid closed his eyes tight as Nathan lifted the cup to his mouth, but much to Buck’s surprise, JD didn’t fight or refuse as the healer insisted he finish off the entire cup. He merely drank complacently then allowed them to help him back under the covers.

“That’a boy.” Buck rubbed away the fresh sweat from JD’s temples, moving the wet towel down along his throat and around the sides of his neck. JD cried out softly as he tried to get comfortable, eventually curling in on his side in complete exhaustion. Buck soaked the cloth with more cold water and placed it around the top of his young friend’s head. “Just rest. Nathan’s tea’ll have you sleepin’ in no time.”

JD answered by pressing his face into the pillow as another wave of pain hit. Buck couldn’t stand it. He turned to call for Nathan again when a weak pull at his sleeve drew his attention back to JD.

“Don’t leave.” The kid had a death grip on his shirt, his head swaying as he tried to lift it off the pillow, his eyes wide and pleading. “Please, Buck.”

“I’m not goin’ nowhere.” Buck gently pushed JD’s head down and began to massage the knotted ligaments at the base of the kid’s skull, hoping to have the same effect as before. “Relax, boy. You’re usin’ up all your strength.”

Nathan returned to JD’s side and nodded his approval. Buck continued to knead JD’s neck, then moved his hand along the thin shirt covering his back. Tense flesh rolled beneath his fingers as he worked the muscles along the kid’s shoulder blades and back up to his neck in an effort to ease away the pain. JD fidgeted briefly before his erratic breathing slowed and his body calmed.

“That’s it, just get some sleep. I’ll be right here, son.” Buck wiped the cloth around JD’s face with his free hand as he continued to rub the boy’s heated back. “I’ll be right here.”


Muddled images floated behind his eyes and pushed him into the waking world. His body resisted, not wanting to give up the blissful refuge of sleep, but the stickiness of his clothes and the stiffness in his limbs carried him back toward reality.

JD tried to roll over, but his body felt like it had been pinned by an overturned wagon. The agony in his bones had mercifully eased to a mild ache and he could actually think without fearing his head would explode. Now if he could only open his eyes.

Finally, he willed himself to move. His back collapsed against the damp sheets and a grunt whooshed from his throat. That hurt.

“You awake, boy?” Buck’s voice floated above him as a gentle hand smoothed back the hair from his face and rested on his forehead. “Nathan, I think his fever’s broke.”

JD blinked his eyelids open, fighting the urge to just leave them shut. But he had to let Buck know he was alright. His best friend loomed above him, his mouth split into a smile and his eyes twinkling with delight. “Thought we was gonna have to plant a stick of dynamite under you to get you up.”

JD swallowed hard, trying to generate enough moisture in his arid mouth to speak. Nathan quickly assessed the problem and grabbed a cup off the nightstand. JD tried to sit up, tired of feeling like an invalid, but his limbs were too weak to cooperate. Buck eased him forward, supporting his friend’s back as Nathan pushed the cup against his lips. JD sighed in relief that it was water this time, not some awful brew the healer had mixed up that promised to put hair on his chest.

“Thank you.” JD sunk back into the mattress, his thirst fading along with his strength.

“How you feelin’, JD?” Nathan asked as he laid his palm across JD’s cheek and along his neck.

“Tired, sore, but I’m fine, Nathan.” JD figured he’d be left alone as long as he didn’t deny hurting, but no such luck. Nathan pushed down the covers, his chilly fingers prodding his chest and around his ribs and down to his stomach. JD let out a frustrated sigh as Nathan rolled him on his side and flinched as a cold hand rested against his back.

“It’s okay, kid.” Buck laughed softly as he sat next to him and JD wanted to tell him to let Nathan touch his bare flesh with those damn icy hands and see how okay he’d be.

Finally, Nathan finished his exam and JD melted wearily into the bed as Nathan replaced the quilts. “Another day or two of rest and you’ll be good as new.”

JD didn’t know how long he’d been sick, but he certainly didn’t want to spend another two days here. “How long have I been here?”

“Nearly three days, kid, you had us a might worried…”

Buck’s voice trailed off in his head and the thought of his rain-soaked mare still standing unsaddled and unfed in the livery shot panic through his heart. “My horse.”

JD sat up quickly, his head swimming so fast that the room blurred. “Whoa, son, Vin’s been takin’ care of your horse since you got back.” Buck pushed him back against the pillow, holding him there with minimal effort. “Told you he’d be good for something someday.”

JD let the words soak in, the confusion in his brain weaving threads of logic together until they made sense. “Oh.”

Buck laughed and JD wished he could see the humor in this situation too. His head had begun to hurt again and his body felt like he’d been washed and wrung out like a dirty shirt. Including feeling, well…wet. From his head down to his feet and the sudden awareness of it repulsed him so much that he hoisted himself up again.

“JD!” He heard Buck’s scolding tone, but he desperately needed to get away from the uncomfortable dampness and the salty aroma of his own sweat. JD managed to sit up briefly before he fell forward against his best friend’s chest, his energy spent and his head too heavy to hold up any longer. “See, now what’d you go and do that for? You are the most stubborn runt I’ve ever met. I told you…”

“Ain’t sleepin’ in a wet bed.” There. He’d managed to spit it out before Buck had a chance to ramble on for three days about his lack of common sense.

Buck ran his hand across the sheets, then helped JD off the cot. “Nathan, he’s got a point there.”

JD tried in vain to stand on his own, silently grateful that Buck had wrapped one arm around his waist to keep him from sinking to the floor. He could hear Nathan stripping the sheets from the mattress, then rummaging through the old trunk at the foot of the bed. Time passed painfully slow, although he knew Nathan hurried and that Buck wouldn’t let him fall.

A sudden chill made him glance up, aware that the damp nightshirt was being pulled off his shoulders and he quickly averted his eyes, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. JD’s knees swayed and Buck held on tighter.

“Hang on, kid, he’s almost done.” Buck whispered as he pulled JD’s head into his chest to steady him.

JD wanted to cry from the humility of it all as he felt Nathan threading his arms through the sleeves of the dry bedclothes. Dressing him like a helpless infant. He pressed his face into the rough fabric of Buck’s shirt, concentrating on the fragrance of soap and saddle leather mixed with the lingering scent of women’s perfume, the latter no doubt from a brief encounter with one of his many lady friends earlier. The familiar smells that reminded him of Buck, the ones that always made him feel safe.

The two men helped him into bed and JD let his exhausted body sink into the clean sheets. What he really wanted to do was sit up for a while, put some food in his growling belly and drink a pitcher of water to soothe his parched throat, except he was too feeble to lift his shoulders off the mattress. He didn’t even have the will to object as Buck finished buttoning up his nightshirt.

“I’m gonna take these to the laundry, maybe stop and have myself a beer and a decent meal.” Nathan announced, his arms loaded with the dirty linens he’d just taken off the bed.

“Bring us back something, will you? Or better yet, have Inez bring it.” Buck winked at JD, obviously pleased with his clever ploy.

Nathan snorted, shaking his head as he carried his burden outside. JD turned his attention back to his best friend, a bit unnerved by the look of pure adoration in the man’s dark blue eyes. He should be used to it by now. Buck rarely hid his feelings. Whether he couldn’t lie that well or simply didn’t care to, JD didn’t know, but there were times he could read his mind as if it had been printed and bound. Like now. When the love that should be reserved for father to son, brother to brother, lit up Buck’s face.

JD could feel his cheeks burning again as his eyes locked briefly with Buck’s and the younger man quickly averted his gaze. He hoped his own statement had mirrored Buck’s affection because he certainly didn’t have the courage to tell him outright.

“Good to have you back, kid.” Buck said softly as he pulled the clean sheet over his friend’s chest, his caring tone regressing into mock seriousness. “Just don’t go pulling any more lame-brained stunts like that, boy. I’m gettin’ tired of wrestling your scrawny hide away from the devil every time you try and do yourself in.”

Suddenly, a flash of memory nearly blinded him; the image of Buck pushing aside the dark shape that had threatened to take him returned so vividly that he gasped.

“You alright?” Buck’s exuberant statement clouded with worry.

JD squeezed his eyes shut briefly then forced a smile. “Yeah, just remembered something.”

He didn’t dare reveal any more than that. Now in the grip of clarity he realized how crazy it would sound to thank Buck for yanking him from the grip of what he thought had been Death himself. After all, it was just a dream, right? Merely a frantic nightmare with no more weight in reality than the heavenly vision of his mother he’d conjured in his fevered daze. Right?

It’d probably be best he not say anything or else Buck might think he was still delusional or worse; think he was some wide-eyed scaredy cat who had completely lost his mind. Yet, the eerie similarity between Buck’s comments and the actual vision sent chills down his spine. Either the dream had been more real than he’d ever want to admit or Buck was getting even better at reading his mind – neither choice a comforting prospect.

“You rest easy.” Buck patted his side and stood up. “I’ll wake you when Inez gets here.”

JD sighed and closed his eyes, letting his weary body relax into the softness beneath it. “Just keep your hands off my food.”

Buck chuckled softy. “Oh, I can stay away from the chicken soup and soft bread you’ll be gettin’ for the next two weeks. Now keeping my hands off Inez might be a bit more of a challenge.”

“Make sure I’m awake when you try it.” JD grinned, casting the bait he knew Buck couldn’t resist.

“Why’s that, hotshot? So you can see how it’s done?”

JD laughed, opening his eyes so he could see the reaction to his verbal jab. “So I can pick you up after she makes sure you’ll be the one gumming your meals for the next week.”

Buck smirked down at him, his face creased with mock anger, but the twinkle in his eyes revealed his true mood. “Go to sleep, kid before I smother you with your own pillow.”

JD smiled and settled against the sheets, his body weak and heavy, but free from the throbbing aches and the heated flush of fever. Buck continued to ramble on in the background, the big man’s presence filling JD with a renewed sense of safety and he let his mind drift toward the blackness that beckoned him. He could finally rest without being miserable and, hopefully, sleep without fiery nightmares. Everything would be alright now.


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