Welcome to Fight-Klub. This week we present our first inaugural fight, and we've put two tough, vicious, and experienced fighters on the card. Afterall, nothing is too good for the five or six guys who regularly visit this site (and one lady-- thanks, Mom!).

But first, let me answer a FAQ (Frequently Asked Question). What is Fight Klub? The short answer is this: Fight Klub is an online, virtual fight club. And we get to match up whichever competitors we want, rate them, and set them loose in the virtual oktagon® to do battle. Regular visitors can vote on who wins, and after a set period, all the cast ballots are counted, and a victor is declared. Look, it's almost as fun as going to the dentist!

Now onto this week's fight!

As I mentioned, this first fight will be a bloody battle. I found two of the most cold, calculating, and unrepentent thugs I could find for an all-out war. Cynics, naysayers, and the hopelessly old-fashioned will undoubtedly whine, "Hey! You can't have a man fighting a woman! Not in the Virtual Oktagon® of Death! My response is simply this: why the hell not?

If you think women are the weaker sex, you've obviously never met this week's female warrior. This combat-hardened battle-axe could make all but the most brave and courageous among us wet ourselves in abject fear. This is no average woman. She makes Tonya Harding, Xena the Warrior Princess, or my mother-in-law look about as tough as Pippy Longstocking. She's a killer. If you don't believe me, just ask Vince Foster.

Her opponent, however, is no slouch either. He has a blood-thirsty reputation as a bad-ass, and has been known to send many an ookie to the emergency room. He's not the least bit intimidated, and there's no way in hell that he'll back down from this challenge.

Hillary Rodham Clinton is known for being a dirty, vicious, and heartless fighter. Never one to show mercy, Clinton has neither military nor law-enforcement training, nor does she have any kind of professional fighting or martial arts experience whatsoever. And yet she struts into the virtual oktagon® without the slightest trace of fear in her eyes. Afterall, she is both a lawyer and a politician! What she lacks in size, she makes up for in shear evil. Rating:

Christophe Clugston is a professional fighter, bouncer, trainer, kickboxing champ, and TRS Direct video star. Clugston's deadly Comhrac Bas fighting style is derived from ancient Roman gladiators. He has much more experience than his opponent-- both in the ring and on the street-- but can he be as nasty and cruel in the virtual oktagon®? He'll definitely want to use his size and strength advantage as much as he possibly can. Rating:

So now it's time to vote! But how? Geocities, though they offer free web-space, do not offer CGI capabilities. (Which means that I can't write a program to have the votes automagically tallied.) Thus, the voting system is going to have to be a little less sophisticated.

Everyone has until February 5th to vote. Here's how it's going to work:

Vote for Clinton Click the button marked "vote" below if you think Clinton will win in the virtual oktagon®. Your email program-- if correctly configured-- will open with a blank email. Double-check that the subject is "Fight 1 - Clinton". Any comments you add may be used on this site.

Vote for Clugston Click the button marked "vote" below if you think Clugston will win in the virtual oktagon®. Your email program-- if correctly configured-- will open with a blank email. Double-check that the subject is "Fight 1 - Clugston". Any comments you add may be used on this site.

News and Other Random Musings:

Listen up! Stop eating the Cheetos you found under the sofa cushion, turn off Oprah and start making a difference today! As much as I am loathe to admit it, this site needs the help of losers-- er, people like you to make it into the stratospheric success and cash cow that I envision it will one day be. [Note to self: come up with a business plan, pronto.]

• Vote for the warrior you think should win this week's fight. In your email, tell me why you think your choice should win.
• Sign the guestbook.
• Send an email to me at dspoon_x@yahoo.com suggesting next week's Virtual Oktagon® grudge match participants, reviewing a fight or fight instruction video, or just praising my site and web-design skills to high heaven.
• Send me a check or money order. (My pet goldfish needs an operation. Did I say goldfish? I meant my grandma.)
• Put a link to my site on your web page, and I'll do the same for you.

Finally, you'll notice that I say "Fight of the Week" above, but give everyone a chance to vote for several weeks. That's because I expect that it will take a while to get this site going, and I want to give as many people as possible the opportunity to cast their ballot.

Thanks!

-Detsel Spoon