| Chapter 24: "What the Hell...?" |
| Tory- (looking around frantically) AH!! Meagan is so going to kill me! Greg- Yeah, if these people don’t kill us first! STEP ON IT! Tory- (shrieking) I’m trying! Chris reaches down and puts his hand on the gas, pressing with all his might. The car speeds up, racing along ahead of Matt’s car. Meanwhile… Frankie has fainted at the wheel. Anna fans him with an atlas. In a struggle, Matt reaches over with his far arm (the unbroken one) and steers. Frankie’s foot is temporarily stuck on the gas, and the car speeds up after the Diablo. Jesse cries on Meagan’s shoulder. Meagan- Be quiet, you big baby… Suddenly, someone leaps onto the back of the car. Meagan- (screaming) CRY, JESSE, CRY! Anna ducks, her head digging in to Frankie’s shoulder. He opens his eyes, and notices Matt almost on top of him. Frankie- Um…hello, there, friend… Jesse starts yelling, as Meagan starts screaming. They turn around. Meagan and Jesse- IT’S JOHN!!! Frankie- John?! Matt- Frankie! Move! Frankie- Huh…? Anna pulls Frankie into the backseat with the other three as Matt slowly climbs into the driver’s seat. Meagan- Faster, FASTER! Matt- Meagan shut up I can’t feel my foot! Jesse- Let me drive! Frankie- Hell no…you’ll get us all killed for sure… They speed up, soon approaching a low overpass. John stands up on the back of the car, reaching over the top of the closed convertible, trying to open it. Frankie looks up at John, then whispers something to Matt, who nods, before speeding up. The car speeds under the overpass, knocking John off. He goes flying off the back, landing on the road with a thump-skid-roll-smack. Frankie, Anna, Matt, Meagan, and Jesse all exchange high-fives. *** The cars drive out of the city, and soon come to a field. A billboard reads: “Krazy Karnival…Just 1 Mile Ahead!” Amy- Oh…there it is…pfff…silly me. Tory glares at her in the rearview mirror. Chris- Finally…god… Greg- And we just drove through hell to get here. Melissa- Wasn’t there some other way Amy? Amy- Um…yeah. Duh… Chris, Greg, Melissa, Tory- WHAT?! Amy- I wanted us to get a thrill on the way here…you know, since it’s our last day. Chris- Oh yeah, thrilling…Sure guys, let’s just get together and DIE on the way to the carnival. Tory- Your ideas are twisted and dumb. Melissa- I can’t believe this… Greg- Well…there’s no use in getting mad at you…although I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to throw you out the back window. Amy- (she punches them each in the shoulder) Aw guys…suck it up…let’s just go to the carnival and have fun! *** Jesse- (reading the sign out loud) “Krazy Karnival…Just 1 Mile Ahead!” Oh! So that’s where it is… Frankie- Yeah…god, too bad you couldn’t figure that out EARLIER… Jesse- Yeah, if I’d known, we could have taken the normal, shorter route. The car skids to a stop. Matt whips his head around. Anna, Matt, Frankie, Meagan- The what? Matt- You mean we didn’t have to go through that dump?! Jesse- (sinking in his seat) No…Yes…Maybe…? Anna- (smacking her head) You are so joking…oh my god… Meagan- MCCARTNEY!!! Jesse- Uh…heh heh…I can buy you some cotton candy for the trouble…? *** A few hours later, all the kids are having a blast at the carnival, going on all the rides and eating lots of food (Not right before the rides though…ew…). They see a booth with a sign that reads “Krazy Love Potions- Fall in Love for Only Five Dollars!”. Greg- Sweet… Frankie- Let’s try it! They all agree and walk over. A plump woman in a gypsy costume and lots of make-up eyes them. Woman- My name is Esmerelda. Matt- Hi, I’m Matt. Esmerelda- Shh…don’t speak. The kids look at each other. Esmerelda- So, you want to try the love potions, yes? Frankie- Yeah, we- Esmerelda- Shh…don’t speak. Frankie raises an eyebrow. Esmerelda closes her eyes and brings her hands together over a rather large bottle. She chants… “Birds are blue, the bees are yellow Give a fellow a girl, and a girl a fellow!” Slowly, she removes the cap from the bottle. Opening her eyes, she looks at the kids. Esmerelda- That’ll be fifty bucks. Chris- What? We didn’t even drink it! Esmerelda- Pay first…it’s more convenient for me. Meagan- (rolling her eyes) There’s five bucks down the drain…I need that money to repair the HOLE in my car… Esmerelda- Kid, if I had a car, I’d feel for you. The roll their eyes, each handing her a five. Esmerelda- Now…drink… Frankie looks at the others, who nod at him to take a sip. Frankie- (after sipping) That’s DELICIOUS! What’s in there? Esmerelda- Love, child, love… The others snatch it and drink, arguing over the taste. Anna- Mm…strawberry… Matt- Mango! Meagan- Cherry! Greg- Tomato! Melissa- Banana! Chris- Lobster! Tory- Grapefruit! Jesse- Chicken! Amy- Tuna! Frankie- Pasta! The argue for a few more minutes, until Meagan shyly looks at Jesse. Meagan- Did I ever tell you how hot you are? Jesse- Huh? (He looks over at Melissa) Whoa! She’s a babe! Melissa- (looks over at Matt) Come to mama… Matt- (gazing dreamily at Tory) Nice… Tory- (smiling at Frankie) Can I touch your abs? Frankie- Riiight…(he looks over at Amy) I’d rather touch yours… Amy- (leaping onto Greg’s back) Take me home, daddy! Greg- (pushing Amy off and stepping next to Anna) Hey there, sexy. Anna- Whatever…(she looks at Chris) Now there’s a sexy man… Chris- (ignoring Anna, and staring at Meagan) I want some of that… Esmerelda- (mumbling) Shit…now they drank too much… The ten kids continue hitting on each other, sometimes literally. Frankie- (pushing Greg) Back off, fool! Amy’s mine! Greg- Amy?! Yeah right…I want Anna… Anna- Too bad I like Chris! Chris- (shoving Jesse) Meagan loves me, not you! I know she knows it deep in her heart! Jesse- Who cares? Melissa is mine anyway. Melissa- Like who you want…as long as I get Matt…(she licks her lips as Matt turns away) Matt- Tory! I love your hair…it is smooth…like silk. Tory- Yeah, whatever. Frankie, on the other hand… Esmerelda- Ok, kids, time to leave…a heh heh… Amy- (pushing Anna) What makes you think Greg likes you?! He likes ME! Meagan- You’re all fools…Jesse is mine and that’s all that matters! Chris- Would you make out with me for ten dollars? Meagan- Sure! They leave. Anna- Chris! Greg- Don’t worry…we can be together now. Anna- Let’s go make out right in front of Chris and the little hooch… They wander off as well. Amy- Greg! Damn it! Anna isn’t half the woman I am! Someone runs up and grabs Amy from behind. She whips around. Amy- Frankie! Frankie- Now we are together…AT LAST! Amy- Yeah yeah…wait…(she whispers something in Frankie’s ear and they walk off together) Tory- Where did Frankie go? Frankie…oh, Frankie! Matt- Hey beautiful! Tory- (turning, expecting Frankie) Yes? (Rolling her eyes) Oh…it’s you. Matt- Now, I know that you like Frankie…which is so lame…but I think that- Tory- We should make out to get him jealous? That’s EXACTLY what I was thinking! Matt opens his mouth to say something, but just smiles as Tory pulls him off. Melissa- Bring back Matt, you little b- Jesse- Hey there, Melissa! Melissa- (sitting down, depressed) Hey Jess. Jesse- (sitting down next to her) Are you sad? Melissa- Yeah… Jesse- Well I know what will make everything all better. Melissa- What is th- Jesse kisses her and then they start making out. *** Three hours later… The potion starts to wear off. Meagan and Chris have been making out for a while when she opens her eyes. She pushes Chris away and raises an eyebrow. Meagan- What the hell are you doing? Chris- Um…not sure…but I think maybe this is a trick… Meagan looks over and notices Matt and Tory making out as well. Meagan- BALLINGER!!!!! She and Chris run over and separate the two. Tory- (looking at Matt) Whoa…wait a second… Chris- What the hell is going on?! Matt- I have no idea…but, wait a second what were you and Meagan doing? Chris-Um......ah... Matt-You jerk, you were making out with her! Matt tackles Chris to the ground and they start fighting. And within seconds Chris had Matt pinned to the ground. Meagan- How could you?! You little slut! Tory- Shouldn’t I be asking you the same question you little skank!? Meagan- Oh that’s it…(she slaps Tory) Tory- (grabbing her face) Ow…(Tory slaps Meagan back) Meagan-Ow... Amy has been making out with Frankie for a while…she opens her eyes and they widen… Amy- (pushing Frankie back) Whoa Nellie! Frankie- What the hell am I doing?! Amy- I have no idea…but Jesse is going to HURT you… Frankie- Yeah….and so is Anna when she finds out! Frankie glances over to see Anna making out with Greg. Frankie- Anna and…Greg?!?! Frankie storms over as Amy giggles. Frankie- (yanking Greg away by the shoulder) What is THIS?! Greg- Huh? (He looks over at Anna) What…? Anna- What were you doing? What was I doing? Greg- Was I…were you…WHAT THE HELL? Frankie- Greg you’re a DEAD MAN! They start fighting. Amy laughs as she walks over toward a tree, noticing Jesse next to it. As she gets closer, she notices Melissa practically on top of him. Amy- WHAT?! Amy sprints up and pulls Melissa away from Jesse. Melissa- What the…? Jesse- Whoa Melissa! Do you have something to tell Gregory?? Melissa- That’s not funny! What is going on…? Amy- Why don’t you explain that to me! I thought we were friends! Melissa- (standing up) I’m sorry…I… Jesse- Amy, I am really sorry- Amy- Whatever! Amy storms off toward the others. Amy- I am SO out of here. Meagan- I’m coming with you. At least you didn’t make out with my boyfriend. (Turning to Matt) Or should I say EX-boyfriend. Matt- Meagan, wait- Tory- (staring at Chris sadly) I thought you liked me…but I guess you and Meagan had something going on…It’s so over. Tory walks off. Chris- Tory, hang on- Anna- (getting out her cell phone) I’m calling a cab. And Frankie, if you try to follow me, I’ll tell the magazines you’re gay. (Into the phone) Yes, hi, I’d like a cab… Frankie- (turning to Greg) Tell them I’m gay…? What the hell… Melissa walks over to the five guys scattered in the area. Melissa- Why are they all so mad? Jesse- Apparently everyone made out with the wrong people. Just like I made out with you- Greg- Wait, what?! Melissa- Jesse! Frankie- Well, he made out with Anna! (He and Greg glare at each other) Melissa- WHAT?! Greg! How could you?! Melissa storms off. Greg- Melis- Frankie- Don’t even try it. *** Later that night, everyone is thoroughly disgusted with each other. The guys are in their room packing for the Go For It! Roadshow, and the girls are in their room, preparing to leave. In the girls’ room… Amy- (while jamming shirt after shirt into a rolly suitcase) I cannot believe this. You think you know a guy… Melissa- (stuffing her makeup in a case) I don’t know why I was making out with Jesse, but maybe it had something to do with ANNA MAKING OUT WITH GREG! Little sleaze-ball… Anna- (slamming a sneaker onto the bed) SHUT UP! Tory- Well Meg, was Chris a good kisser?! Meagan- Why don’t we compare him and MATT! Across the hall… Jesse sits against a wall, lazily putting clothes into his suitcase. Jesse- (singing) I did somethin’ that was very very wrong… Frankie- Enough Andy Dick now… Jesse- (still singing, louder) I made out with Melissa…and Frank made out with Amy… Greg- (turning and whipping a shoe at the wall next to Jesse) SHUT UP! Jesse- (yelling) Naughty baby did a no-no… Frankie- DUDE!! Shut up Jesse… Jesse- I wouldn’t be talking…I didn’t make out with your chick. Frankie- Oh yeah…that was GREG. Matt- (folding his socks) I wonder how mad they are. Chris- I know I’m pretty mad…AT YOU! Matt- (still packing, not looking up) Bite your tongue, Trousdale…I don’t remember clearly but I’m sure it was Tory who put the moves on me. Chris laughs at the idea. Chris- Well I could say the same about Meagan…in fact I think that’s what happened. Greg- God, shut up…it was probably us hitting on them… Frankie- You mean you hit on Anna?! Frankie and Greg drop their stuff and step closer to each other. Jesse steps between them. Jesse- Hey Frankie, that means you put the moves on Amy. Frankie- I did what? Frankie, Greg, Matt, and Chris all start to laugh. Jesse- Wait…that isn’t funny! Greg- Dude…she’s like, Jesse’s age! Jesse- No, she’s gonna be a sophomore! Chris- (laughing) Whatever Jess…hey, guys, who knows why we were making out with who we were, but how about we forget about it? Matt- Yeah…we can’t stay mad at each other forever. Frankie- (glaring at Greg, then giving up) Fine… Jesse- (putting his arms on Greg and Frankie’s shoulders) Friends?? *** The next morning, the girls are all ready to leave. They all sit apart from each other in the lobby, their bags all over. Meagan called her parents last night, explaining that Tory had stolen her car and driven recklessly with it. Her parents arranged to have her car towed to be fixed, and a limo was coming for her and Amy, since Amy was her next-door neighbor. Tory’s parents had also arranged for a limo, and Melissa was riding home with Tory. Anna’s family was going on vacation the next week anyway, and so they were on their way to pick her up. At nine o’clock, a man in a black suit walks into the lobby. Man- Miss Victoria Vaposo? Tory stands up slowly, waving at the man, who walks briskly over to pick up the first load of suitcases. Melissa carries her own two suitcases out to the long white limo. Tory walks out and she and Melissa get into the limo. They drive off down the busy street. Another man walks into the lobby. Man- Miss Meagan O’Cartney? Meagan stands up, signaling the driver. She picks up her suitcases and nods at Amy to do the same. They walk out of the hotel and put their bags in the trunk, before being ushered into the back of the limo. Within moments, they too are off. Anna sits alone in the lobby, waiting for her family. A few minutes later, a strange man in a trench coat, hat, and dark sunglasses walks up to her. He stares coldly ahead. Man- Are you Anna Lallinger? |