So, the other day, as I am surfing the web, I says to myself, I sez, "Self, there is no Squirrel Girl site here on de Web. I needs must address dis grievous oversight and take it upon myself to educate the masses." And then I slip back inta my tequila coma and forget all about the matter.  But when I woke several weeks later, the idea had burned itself inta my brain and I rose, single-mindedly, paying no heed to the IV tubes as I ripped them from my arm. I knew I had been chosen for this glorious quest and so I pistol-whipped the nurse, commandeered her terminal, and set forth to present to you the tale of the greatest hero of our time.

THE STORY SO FAR...
Squirrel Girl has had only a single appearance as of yet, in the Winter 1991 Marvel Super-Heroes (officially Vol. 2, No. 8) in an Iron Man inventory story plotted and drawn by the masterful Steve Ditko with a script by Will Murray. In this adventure, dubbed with the apropos title of "The Coming of Squirrel Girl!", she ambushed Iron Man in an attempt to convince him to take her on as her partner. He wasn't convinced, even after seeing Squirrel Girl's amazing powers and also in light of her age (fourteen at the time). And that would have been that, except for the fact that Squirrel Girl had engaged anther armored character first, who turned out to be no less than the awe-inspiring Doctor Doom!
    Doom promptly k.o.'ed Iron Man and kidnapped the pair, planning, in proper super villian fashion, to crush them both to death with giant, blunt spikes before dumping the bodies in the ocean.  With Iron Man chained, it was all up to Squirrel Girl! And so, that being the case, Doom had his way with the heroes, Tony Stark was replaced with a LMD and no one ever heard from SG, again.
    No, of course not!  Monkey Joe, Squirrel Girl's faithful sidekick, led a charge of squirrels onto Doom's craft, which was flying low through the forest to avoid radar, and the wee beasties chewed through the wiring, saved the day, and even disabled Doom's armor, forcing the villain to escape into the river, swearing revenge for these indignities. Iron Man informs the heroine that she done good and the heroes part on friendly terms, as Squirrel Girl utters the immortal line "I don't need luck. I eat nuts."


SQUIRREL GIRL'S AMAZING POWERS!
No one takes down Doctor Doom without some significant skills. Here's a look at Squirrel Girl's eclectic array of outstanding abilities, exactly as she explained them to Iron Man!*

*I know the text can be kinda hard to read, so the contents are reprinted below each panel.

THE FUTURE OF SQUIRREL GIRL
isn't looking terribly bright right now, I'll admit. Chances are real good that ten minutes after "The Coming of Squirrel Girl", Doom came back and vaporized SG, strangled her parents, enslaved her squirrels, and generally razed everything in a six block radius of her house.  But, apparently in the interim, she became a marketing sensation because it has been discovered that Squirrel Girl underoos are favored by no one less than Deadpool**, everyone's favorite Merc with a Mouth! So, will Squirrel Girl return to prominence once more? We can only wait...oh, and also write many, many polite, but firm letters to Marvel.
** Deadpool #7

Author's Note: Normally, my exuberance for and awe of Doctor Doom knows no bounds. This page should in no way be construed as an Anti-Doom page. But, let's face it, it's fun to watch the all powerful liege of Latveria get humbled by squirrels. Just once.

Contact Jared M. Silver for further Squirrel Girl enlightenment.

Squirrel Girl®, Iron Man®, and Doctor Doom® are property of Marvel Comics and this site is in no way endorsed by Marvel Comics. No infringement is intended.