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Sunday, June 3, 2001 Well I'm glad to see that I can now post again...after what feels like a month. Hello to everyone....way to much to catch u up on... I haven't smoked in 4 days, cold turkey. Not really that bad, no where near as bad as I thought it would be. Promise to write more later, and to Ricki. I love you goddess, u have been a sweet, patient, supportive angel!!! As usual I don't deserve u, but I'm soooo glad I have u!!! Truly you are a rare and unique gift. All my love !!! To everyone!!! Buh bye. posted by Patch Landers at 11 PM.
I hope that I am able to update this thing .............. finally.... Hey new pics!!!!! Check 'em out!!!!! Click on the "Distrubing Crime Scene Photos" Link to your left < or check 'em out HERE. Wednesday, May 16, 2001 Well, well well....look who the cat drug in...finally a free moment to collect my thoughts and actually blog!!! Guess what!?!?!.... I got hypnotized today...................wellllllllllllllllllllllll sorta. I tried, ya see, really hard! It was a station promotion. Stop smoking today...get hyp NO tized!!! It didn't work...but I wanted it to. Now I'm back to slowly weaning myself off these bloody things. Nasty!!! When exiting ONTO an interstate....have you ever pretended you're on a launch tube....gaining speed, faster and faster....then zooooooom!!! Onto the interstate u go... cool! Kinda like my old hot wheels cars speedtrack....I love it. Hope a cop doesn't catch me....doin' 110 by the time I hit the interstate! I stopped by to get my daily bread...(coffee at 5am) and saw a couple sleeping in their car. It wasn't the fact that they were sleeping in their car that caught my eye....it was WHERE they parked to sleep. Right in front of the convenience store... fully lighted... guess they felt safer. All their belongings...clothes and stuff were in the back of the 89 Taurus they were driving...didn't see the tag...don't know where they were from. I saved the best for last. My Goddess!!! What can I say about my baby? She has pushed me to the heights of ecstasy and made me whole. I am trying so hard to push her this time...she is shining brighter than the sun... ( if you're blessed enough to know her...you know she has the brightest soul known to man ) I am so incredibly proud of her. Her ideas are sheer genius...she is a master businesswoman, and unbelievably talented and creative. The site looks better than ever and the sales are tumbling easier and easier...thanks to her hard work, great ideas, and drive. Then, on top of it all...she treats me like a prince!!! She does so much, with so little in return...who could ask for more? I am beyond lucky or blessed.... I don't know a word strong enough for what I am...how about...............in Love!!! Love ya babygirl!!! Thank u!!! You Amaze me!!! And by the way..... "I'm your huckleberry!!!!" I love you!!!!! Gotta go workout, and love on my baby! See ya guys and gals! And sign my guestbook willya, send your friends to my site....hey....I get lonely sometimes!;) Love ya, and Buh Bye! posted by Patch Landers at 11PM OK, now tell me this....which is which? Ricki or Marcy?............... .......scary ain't it?...........they say we all have twins in the world...guess it's true! btw, that's Marcy on the left...Ricki and the right... two beautiful ladies... Thursday, May 10, 2001
Hello Kiddies.....playin' nice with your toys? Good. Uncle Patchy has been lucky enough to have some wonderful people come into my life recently! Some I haven't even met yet....(try to figure THAT one out!!!:) Welcome dear new friends... my life is enriched by your presence. I have been selling my frickin' ass off!!!! It's going soooooooooooo well! I'm so proud of Ricki, she is a shrewd and dangerous businesswoman!!!! Check this out... www.easttnonline.com ~!!! She is so awesome! Well, I wish I could tell you more, but I'm waaay too tired, so g'nite and buh bye! P.S. - Mary, ya crazy girly - don't be so hard on u, u rock....m'kay? posted by Patch Landers at 11:00 PM Mark and Marcy...my crazy Floridian Friends...
Wednesday, May 9, 2001
Yes, I'm still alive. ( Hey who booed?) If I get any damn busier I don't think sleep will be on the agenda any longer!!!
Thursday, May 3, 2001 Another day, .... well.... another day. Kinda a strange day. I've had a lot of compliments today and it makes me feel good, but it's overwhelming at the same time. Had a strrrrrange remote this week, we did a two hour remote at a freakin' FARM!!!!! Yep, an actual working dairy farm...cows, shit, the works. It was a kids farm day for the school and it was mega weird!!! Never in 13 years + have I done anything like that.!!! and I've done some strange shit! While there, some asshole kid punched the big dawg! I scared the shit out of him, I had already told these kids to be nice and not do anything to him that they wouldn't do to their dog. So I looked down and dropped my Dad voice on 'em and said. " WHERE IS YOUR TEACHER!?!" The laughter stopped and their eyes got the size of saucers! I continued..." I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT! THREE TIMES!" I'm sorry he whimpered... What really blew my mind is that his teacher was standing right there the whole time and didn't do anything about it! You see, those suits look really padded and people think they protect the wearer...but it's not always that way...you see, Ron, the guy inside, felt every bit of that punch. I wasn't being harsh...just protecting my friend. Oh well, just a lot of fun on the farm..... I'm sleepy, must go sleepy time now...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Buh Bye! posted by Patch Landers at 9:35 PM
OK kiddies, I've got a couple of new pix to share with ya, this first one is Kingpin...my pal from Russia...cool guy... His real name is Marat, (but don't tell anyone! :) this is some of his Artwork.. . cool huh? Here's a pic of my pal Rando's babygirl! ((yeah guys, it's really a baby and she's a girl...stop drooling!!! Ya freaks!!! ))
awwwwwwww, she is soooooooooo cute!!!! Must have come from her momma!!!!!! Haaaaa, wazzzup Rando!!!!???!! Sunday, April, 29, 2001 I wish I had a clue what to write on this...hey I did some remotes and saw some really cool things this weekend...without the aid of drugs! lol I think I'll write more about this weekend later...Cades Cove was cool today...and my remotes were a very interesting taste of Americana. You'll want to hear about it so come back soon. :) Trust me. Ricki got a new bikini over this weekend...if I can convince her, I really want to put a pix of her in it on this page...she looks soooooooooooo hot!!!! By the way.... You KNOW this girl is a HOTTIE!!!!!!!!!!! That was so damn sweet baby thank u!!! :) posted by Patch Landers at 11:05 PM
Ricki made me two versions of me.... (look on the right side of the page for my version...) which do you think is the REAL me?
I can't wait to see this movie!!! The pump, and a back porch pix....
Thursday, April, 26,2001 Today, like everyday this week, was hectic and busy as hell!!! I'm glad it's almost over. I , at least got somethings accomplished. Not much to say, except...it was a beautiful day, my wife is an angel and my kids are demonspawn from hell :)....and I am strangely happy...for no obvious reason. I don't know if it's the improvements in my life and relationships, or the sun being out, or the death of some old demons, none of which I'll bore you with... I'm just glad that I have what I have in life, and that things could be worse, and aren't....silly huh? Hey I worked out today, first time in a few days...it felt GREAT! I needed it. Life ain't perfect...but it's not worthless...go play in the sun and kiss the sky with a smile.
I love this pix, it makes me look like I've got me some muskles....god I love photoshop....:) Tuesday, April 24, 2001 Well another day, passes............................................ya know life is like a baseball game. You get thrown a few curve balls, a fast ball, mabye a slider...and the occasional spitball. Which is kinda gross ya know? So there you are, standing in the batters box, you take a test swing, then you spit (hey I don't care if you're dippin' or not you spit in the dirt, it's a rule, I read it somewhere) then you knock the dirt off your shoes with your bat...the pitcher throws, you swing...and life goes on.in life, I am lucky, I have the gift of a Goddess in my life. Ricki is more than I deserve and better than I could've ever hoped for...and she's had waaaaay more than her share of bullshit. Not many people know this, but SHE, NOT me, was a star!!! On the fast track in radio, and was quickly on her way to the top...and she gave up her dream to be my wife, but more importantly, a mom. She is the best at that...like I said, I couldn't find better in the world...she stood behind me, and pushed me to be what I am today...and never showed or said a word of regret nor remorse...just stood tall...and now with things going better...the bullshit begins...take today for instance...Ricki gets a call from the program director at the Bone, a classic rock station in town, and he wants to give her a job! TOTALLY COOL!!! I mean she's got the traffic gig and now this!!!! I am ULTIMATELY proud!!! So what does that motherfuckin' pitcher do? He throws a curve ball, followed by a slider and a spitter...the fucking bastard!!! We go to the doctor today and find out that she may have something which could prevent her from having children ever again. I can't imagine what she's going through, I can only guess the pain and fear she's going through right now. She spent an hour crying on my shoulder on the porch...now she's put on her, very typically Ricki, feel no pain and never complain, strong front...but I know better. She's scared, hell so am I!!! It's no secret that we want a girl...I tease her that I'm waaaay outgunned... I mean hell even the dog and cat are boys. I need a Daddy's girl on my side to even the odds! I can live without the girl, just not with the pain Ricki is going through....and ( oh hell NO that's not all ) she may have the same asthma and lung disease that her grandmother is ( for lack of a better word ) dying from....problem is Rick is 29 and her g'ma found out at 40...she's too young to be going through all this. Plus she has to have her right foot check with a nerve doc, she hasn't been able to feel it in over a month....JEEZUS FUCKIN' H CHRIST, enough already!!! Can't she just catch a break and enjoy a nice success without the world falling apart? Her friends standing beside her, and things all right with the world? ( On a selfish moment...) I can't take much more of this shit...Dad is dead ... sometimes it hits me like a baseball bat! ( guess I'm sticking with the sports motif here...) Ricki now finds out this bullshit... I've had enough... I know I'm being very negative...but sometimes a good rant is good for the soul or some such nonsense!!! I
love you babygirl, I know you will kick this
things ass just like you have anything stupid
enough to get in your way...don't be scared...I
just wish I could do what I said on the porch
today..."I'll fix it..."
Monday, April 23, 2001 Brian Staton, our illustrious sports guru
around here, just told me about this weekends'
baseball game on the AM station. It seems they
just added the satellite to our array and it
wasn't quite adjusted properly...during the LIVE
game coverage...a bleed over signal was coming
through...so while the ballgame was
saying..."Here's the Pitch....swung on a
strike." All calm and quiet...underneath you
could hear a black guy screamin' "Mutha
Fucker!! I told dat bitch to suck my dick!!!"
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Totally a Kodak moment on
audio!!! Monday, April 23, 2001 Well for the last two weekends we've left after
my remotes (that's a live broadcast for the radio
uneducated...consider yourselves lucky! ) and
driven to Alabama. This time I was up at 6am on
Saturday...did a remote at the MS Walk and then a
four hour broadcast at Lowe's. (this makes week #
2, if there is a week three I may kill myself!)
Immediately after the remote I drove the hour home
and then the 7 hours to Bama. I AM EXHAUSTED!!!! I
need a vacation from my off days! I told Ricki I
wanta go camping this weekend - need a brainbreak!
Commune with the Goddess in nature and stuff! ( By
the way, go check out a hilarious story about our
trip on Ricki's
Blog!!! Too damn funny! ) Monday, April 23, 2001 I had another "Breakfast at Tipton's"
last week. I met an old man there, we fell into
conversation by accident. He was small of stature,
his eyes sunk into his face...he was frail, but
the larger forearms he carried gave evidence of a
much larger man in his youth. He was hard of
hearing, and had a voice that was soft, fast and
extremely country...so thick I could barely
translate...but we made out alright. He just
seemed genuinely happy to have someone to talk to
and that would listen.
Friday, April 20, 2001
Ahhhh, sunshine again! Ya know I think I'd like to drive over to North Carolina and climb a mountain!
Thursday, April 19, 2001 Well, two days ago Colli adn Bri got married! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I got to play cameraman! Cool. I'm very happy for them.! The day before they got married, we were all riding around town and saw a stray dog running across a busy highway. So Ricki, in true form, decides we must go save the animal. (Who by this time had already made it across the highway ) So I turn around and we go towards the area where the animal was...understand...the whole time I'm saying ...."we're going to steal...I mean ...rescue...an animal here right?" Ricki loves critters so much she sometimes gets overzealous. :) The dog ran up to a strip mall on the hill. When we got there he started running away. Ricki takes off after it. At the top of the hill there was a wooden fence...she stopped there, the puppy didn't. So she called for me....Brian and I go after the dog while she takes the car around the block to meet us on the other side. At the top of the hill is a putt-putt golf course. So we look all around for the dog...nada. We are all laughing about this poor dog, running away from these crazy people trying to "save" it. I think the dog lived around there somewhere...and was going home. We must have spent 25 minutes waiting in 25 degree weather without a jacket for the girls to get back. They had been chasing the dog at a nearby gas station. So we headed back there. The dog was gone...we must have searched for an hour for that damn dog. But it was an hour full of laughter. Lots of it...very fun! posted by Patch Landers 12:10am
This makes me want to go to the beach soooooooooooooo bad!!!! I needs me some ocean time!!!!!
Monday, April 16, 2001 Ahhhhhh radio.....it's so cool. What a great job, to sit around and run your mouth, actually being paid to be a smart ass!!!!!!!!!!!!! To play cool music, and screw off....I love it. What could be cooler than that???? Try working in your underwear from HOME doing that....my wife ( my Goddess ) just got a killer gig doin' traffic...from home....in her sexy thongs.....damn!!!! I'm VERY VERY proud of her!!! She rocks and rolls and sounds soooooooooooo good!!! Now I can retire to my playstation and the couch....:) Oh well.....so much for dreamin'!!! Today was very cool. Not much unusual happened, I hope the Earth Goddess gets her meds....go see what I'm talkin' about HERE We watched American Psycho last night....what a frickin' weird ass movie...hell I can't even tell ya whether you should go see it or you should burn it....I mean it's set in the eighties, this dude is a serial killer, they spent the first 20 minutes of the movie explaining the types of facial balms this idiot puts on....fuckin' crazy! You may or may not want to see prostitutes get killed by falling chainsaws, I can't tell ya....you'll have to judge for yourself...and listen to tirades about 80's music which are both beautiful and really stupid....I can make that judgment, I am a dj ya know? Soooooo, what else shall we talk about, hmmmm? How about the fact that I'm about to fall over from sleepy beddy bye bye syndrome...zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Super powers failing.... (hey Ricki and Goddess, can I borrow some of that magical lipstick....oh it's not my color? Sorry.) We went to Bama to get some of Dad's stuff and to drop the monsters off at Nanni's (ie- Grandma's) I miss them really bad, who else do I have to harass and wrastle with? Who else will talk to me about their girlfriends? I hate it ... I miss my boys. It's so quiet the air conditioning sounds like a freight train!!! I don't know if we will make it for a full week without them....may have to call in sick to go get them sooner. Well chitlins, I believe I'm gonna go pay a cable bill....so until I sees ya tomorrow... I ask ya very kindly....How'd ya get to be soooooo sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet? Buh Bye!
Makin' some changes...please stand by...
^ Excepts from my Infomercial. Wednesday, April 11, 2001 I think the Chinese should shut the fuck up. I think that stupid people who believe they know everything, should shut the fuck up.... Hell, I should shut the fuck up......but I won't !!!! HEHEHEHHE Did you know that if you climb rocks in sandals....you'll get a stone bruise? It's true, kinda cool. Add 3 + 2 + 3 and you'll get.... A) The gross national product of Yemen. B) My IQ after two bottles of Peach Wine. C) The cost of two bottles of Peach Wine. D) The number of hours of sleep I've had this week. E) All of the above. If you picked E.... you win a prize!!!!!! Congratulations!!!! I've gotta go to beddy bye bye bye....oh goddess I'm singing NSYNC! I think I should die now... buh bye!!
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