| Fellow
Skinnheads,
On
July Fourth, you Americans celebrate one of the United State's most important
holidays: Independence Day.
In
my home country, Germany, we also celebrate a most important holiday:
Lemming Day.
Lemming
Day is filled with much rejoicing. The origins of this holiday started
way back in the mid 15th Century, when lemmings were the dominant mammal
of Germany. Actually, they were a little too dominant. The
lemmings were like rats, spreading disease, eating our sausage, and getting
into our houses to scare the children. Lemming Day was established
by King Weissen IV, when he decided that they must be controlled.
Every July 4th, Germans from all over the country take cast iron swords
and hunt down every lemming they find, just as their ancestors did centuries
ago. Afterwards, they cook the lemmings in a giant pot filled with
saurkraut, and have a grand feast!
The
American July 4th is a very patriotic holiday, but remember, we Germans
had it first! So grab a sword and have good hunting!
-Dr.
Skinn
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