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Dr. Skinn spends countless hours pondering the answers to those terriffically dazzling questions from the admiring masses.  Here is what he had to say:

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Q:  If a Bee's main defense against attack is it's sting, how come it dies as soon as it uses it. All seems a bit of a waste of time to me!!!!

A:  This is quite a simple question, but interesting.  I shall first explain anatomically, then psychologically.  The bee's stinger is directly routed through the center of the body.  When it stings, out comes the stinger, and everything else.  It also emmits a smell that alerts other bees to a hostile environment.  Now, to the psychological side.  The main bees that attack are the males.  The only female bee in the colony is the queen, of which every male serves mindlessly.  Let this be a reminder to nations everywhere why societies are ruled by males.  Do not let us become mindless slaves of women.  So sit back, enjoy some bratwurst, and have your female get you a beer!

-Dr. Skinn

Q:  If a bicycle is intended for one person to ride, is it an appropriate extrapolation to say that a kilocycle is intended for 500 persons to ride? 

A:  Your knowledge of prefixes is quite interesting.  However, while a 'bi'cycle seats 'one' person, a 'kilo'cycle actually does seat one thousand people.  Tested in the plains of Tibet, the kilocycle actually made it's beta debut in August, 1823.  It was originally designed to transport many Tibetans, a crude form of mass transportation if you will.  But, in 1830, a tragic kilocycle crash occurred when all one thousand passengers simultaneously fell asleep at the wheel, causing them to plummet off the side of a cliff.  Ever since, the Tibetan government has banned all production of kilocycles.

-Dr. Skinn

Q:  If dogs sweat through their tongues, why do they have armpits?

A:  Research done in my caucus in Germany over this one. It has to do with bratwurst.  You see, there is an enzyme which is essential to making saurkraut found only in the armpit of a dog.  Thus, while useless for sweating, it's usefulness is great indeed.  Without the armpit, what would accompany our beautiful bratwurst!  Now therein lies a question...

-Dr. Skinn

Q:  so, like... If an explosion slows down as it expands, then why does our universe continue to accelerate in every direction as it expands?

A:  Your question was quite enticing...I believe it is worthy, yes. There are two reasons why these phenomena do not correspond.  First, if an explosion sped up as it expanded, it would not stop and destroy us all.

Next, if the universe was slowing down all the time, it would create unhealthy conditions for us Germans to correctly brew our beer.  Thanks for your question, and happy mettwurst eating!

-Dr. Skinn

Q:  I have read of your knowledge in the papers, but this is a serious question.  My dog recently died, and I am looking for a unique way to remember him at his burial service at the pet cemetary.  What is done by you Germans when you lose an integral part of the family?

A:  I regret to inform you that in Germany we do not own dogs.  Therefore, I shall do my best to describe the rituals surrounding when one of our beloved pigs died on my old home farm.  In my village, it is customary to shave the animal and paint it a light green.  Then we dance around it while oinking. You might wish to bark.  The final part is optional, as it requires devouring the deceased after skewering and holding over the fire for several hours, yielding a delectible treat.  Leave only the eyes, which must be put in the mouths of the elders and spit into a hoop to ward off evil spirits. Then, enjoy a fine beer.

Happy funeral.

-Dr. Skinn

**Dr. Skinn is on vacation this week, so his intern is filling in.**

Q:  Why is it that every time you see a K99.1FM (or other replaceable country music station) window sticker, it's on the back of a car that just pulled in front of you and/or has a minimum of one window consisting of a garbage bag duct-taped into perfect placement?

A:  It is little known that the K99.1 sticker is not a promotion for a country radio station, but the sign of membership in an evil cult.  The cult, which is called KuKluxKarrot 99.1, consists of 99 members in each chapter, and a sheepdog, hence the 0.1.  The main deeds done by this cult are offensive driving, and the hoarding of glass for the turn of the millenium, which they intend to sell as specialty Y2K proof car windows.  When you see such a car on the highway, pull in front of them, honk your horn twice, and slam on your brakes.  This is their 'handshake', and will notify them to back off.

-Intern Manfred

Q:  If you were to cross-breed a fish with an antelope, what would you get? An fishelope or an antelish? What would it look like, do, etc? 

A: You obviously did not pay attention to any of your science teachers that told you of all animals, only fish and antelope cannot be cross-bred together. However, to satisfy your infantile mind, I shall make something up. Big fishie! With fur on scales! Swim in BIIIIIG pool!

I believe that shall do nicely, yes.

-Dr. Skinn 

Q:  During the intergalactic battle of Zoltran 5, it is a well documented fact that the daring human commander Zap Rudrik was able to defeat a much larger squadron of enemy light attack cruisers by simultaneously venting the overflow from his plasma induction coils and and firing his cosmic laser array. 
My question to you is, "If the enemy light cruisers had shunted auxillary power into their Nova reactors and energized their hyperion shields, do you think they could have won the day?"

A:  I believe that you overlooked one of the most basic principles of intergalactic warfare. If those light cruisers had shunted then, it would have only dissipated the photistic stabilizing ducts, thus causing the entire fleet to hurtle into the meteor shower proceeding below them. Besides, attack cruisers know even less about their warcraft than you do. Anyone with activity in their minds would know that in order to get those shields boosted would only be achieved through warp-induced conversions from photons to electrons, thus saving the craft. Please read up in the handbook, son.

-Dr. Skinn

Q:  How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?  The world wants to know!

A:  I also once pondered this very question.  It was the subject of my first scientific experiment.  After a day of licking, my answer came to
1086, but who's counting? Thank you for your question,

-Dr. Skinn

Q:  Why do hot dogs come in packs of 10, and buns come in packs of 8?

A:  The answer to your feeble attempt to be humorous is simple.  Hot dogs were invented by Juan, the tenth servant of King Solomon.  He was promoted to first servant, a prestigious place, after discovering this delectable treat.  After many years, Juan found that the hot dog relish, then called 'stomiphale', would be less messy on the hands if the hot dog was resting in some sort of partial container.  The day of this invention was the day of his son, Bun's eighth birthday, thus he named the condiment after his boy and proudly marketed them in packages containing eight buns.  I hope this sufficiently answers your question.

-Dr. Skinn

Q:  Alright.  I do have a rather simple question to be answered at the moment.  Are you male?  Best wishes, and hopes to have a return from you soon.

A:  I am Qwerzog, from planet Y.  I am neither male nor female, but was given both types of genitalia as part of my experimental travels to your planet.  Gay men do not turn me on, but that Star Wars movie sure does!

-Dr. Skinn