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Featured Dilemma:
ACK!  My son listens to N'Sync!
Dear DrSka,

The worst thing about being a father is to know that your son listens to N'Sync and all that new-wave boyband music. I've tried everything that I know of to stop him.  I've taken his stereo burned his CD's and told him what happens to little boys who like Pop music (eg. Michael Jackson).  None of it seems to work.

I'm begging please to help out.  I'm ashamed to bring him to parties.  To top it all off, he's asking for a Backstreet Boys lunchbox for Christmas;  and he's 17 yrs old!  Please Help Me DrSka.

Sincerely,
Harley Davidson
Homophobe, Texas.
Dear Harley,

I first must say that coming to me for help on this matter is one thing you will not regret.  I have seen the horrible aftermath of adolescent boyband mania first hand.  My friend from a few years back used to listen to rock n'roll.  Hell, he was idolized by many others for his fanaticism of rock.  His long hair, tattoos, posters, the motorcycle had the jealous eyes staring.  Then something horrible happened.  He started dating a girl that wore shoes with 3 inch soles and fruit flavored lip gloss.  Immediately my friend was ambushed with the bullets of pop-culture.  He started listening to Hanson, Michael Jackson, and even New Kids on The Block!!  Now he wears khaki's has short bleached hair, a cell phone, turtle-neck sweaters, and traded his motorcycle in for a Mini-van. 

With this in mind Harley, we now have to face the grim reality of your sons emminent demise of manhood.  Burning his CD's, taking his stereo, and telling him stories of what has happened to others are all good things.  So here's how you go about the rest...

1.  Don't buy him that Backstreet Boys lunch box, instead buy him a Playboy or Hustler subscription, because most importantly is to make sure that he's still interested in females for sex and not for their fashion examples.

2.  Buy the entire Aerosmith record collection.  Notice I said records and not CD's.  CD's are too pansy for this matter.  LP's are the definite way to go.  Make him listen to these records all the time, but please omit the song "Dude Looks Like A Lady".

3.  Next time you notice him looking at pictures, listening to, or even talking about pansy pop culture, smack him.  He may get angry, but always say, "It's for your own good son, I know what I'm doing."  You may think that he will rebel against you, but he's already doing that now, so a few smacks upside the head will do him good.  Other forms of physical punishment are good, but stay away from spankings.

4.  Beer and strip clubs, nuff said.

That's the advice I have for you Harley,  I hope you do well.  Remember,  if all else fails... get duct tape and a chair.

DrSka