Big Dave's Stuff - A Complete Waste Of Time And Energy


Today people have visited this website!

      Welcome to my totally frivolous waste of web space.  Actually, there is a purpose for this website.  I just haven't found it yet!  No, the purpose is to get you, the viewer at home or work (shame on you for wasting your employers time) with nothing better to do, to smile.  I have loaded up this website with several of my favorite jokes, humorous antic dotes, and much more.  I hope you enjoy them.

Check back often. I frequently add new material.

This is a non-profit web site, but if you really
want to send me money I won't refuse it.

      I reserve the right to make changes to this website as frequently or as infrequently as I feel.  This website's reason for existing is to pacify my occasional bouts of boredom due to the fact that I have no life.  I'm a computer geek.  What do you expect?

      Just to get the ball rolling, here is a real groaner: Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail.  With his odd diet, he suffered from bad  breath.  Thus, it can be said that he was a "super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis".

      January 31, 2002 - February 6, 2002: I have finally updated this site!  There are nearly twice the jokes that were previously on it.  I am also working on a little side project that I will add to this site in the near future.  Because of the larger quantity of jokes, I have created a separate index just for the jokes.  This should help me to keep this page organized, hopefully.  Pages dedicated to other subjects will also have their own indexes as well.  I have also been trying to create a uniform format for the joke pages, with only minor variations.

      February 28, 2002: I added three new jokes today.

      April 4, 2002: I added a couple of jokes today.

      April 24, 2002: I added a couple of new jokes today, and expanded on the Holy Humor collection of jokes.

      June 6, 2002: I added a joke about Tips For Rednecks today.

      June 10, 2002: Today I added a whole new section featuring Humorous Pictures And Cartoons.  In this section I have put nine pictures and a cartoon for your viewing pleasure.

      November 23, 2002: Wow!  I can't believe it has been five months since my last update.  I guess that is what happens when you work three jobs.  I have finally added some new jokes.  I noticed that some of the images have not been loading correctly, so I'll spend the next few days debugging that problem.  I've changed Internet providers, so my old Email address no longer works.  I have to go through and remove all the old links to it.  If you want to Email me a joke send it too this address: bigdavezilla@hotmail.com (Remember that Geocities is a family oriented web space provider, so I can only post the clean jokes)

      December 15, 2002: I was bored so I worked on creating a standard format.  It isn't finished yet.  I have also added a couple of new jokes.

      December 22, 2002: Added the joke Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes Crash.  I also updated the Joke Index which I have not done recently.  It should be easier to find all of the jokes now.

      December 29, 2002: Today I added the joke about A Dog Who Wants A Job. I added another joke about New Words, and reformatted the other two jokes about new Words so they match.  I also added another joke to the Holy Humor collection.  I also added a couple of new pictures to my Funny Pictures Section.

      January 4, 2003: This is my first update of 2003 (I'm so excited... OK, I'm just kidding).  All I did was add the joke "You might be from Piqua if..."  Piqua is north of Dayton, OH, and my uncle and other residents there like to pick on their northern neighbor.  It is essentially a redneck joke with a little Ohioan flavor.  Thanks Uncle Dave for contributing it.  (Yes, I was named after my uncle!)

      January 8, 2003: Today I decided to change the format of this page.  My goal was to make the text easier to read. I have also simplified it so that it should now be compatible with all web browsers.  What do you think?

      January 19, 2003: Added two jokes today: Police Encounter Stories and Pearls Of Wit From Will Rogers.  Enjoy.

      January 20 - 21, 2003: I've put my animated logo in a frame on the Joke Pages, and have been working out the bugs with it.  I've found a great deal of excellent information on frames and how to control them at www.htmlgoodies.com.  I have also begun changing the format of the individual joke pages.  This not only makes the jokes easier to read and have a certain level of conformity, but it also supports the new framed look.  I am also grouping the jokes into groups of four.  This is done using something called Cascading Style Sheets (CSS).  CSS has been widely supported by both Netscape and Internet Explorer, as well as other web browsers, for the past few years.  Unless your using a computer with a 486 processor and only 16 MB of RAM that can barely run Windows 95, and you haven't updated your browser since the latest version of AOL came on a floppy disk, it should support CSS.  If you are using the computer I just described then, well... TOUGH POTATOES!  Your computer is obsolete.  Go buy a used computer with a Pentium 3 processor or something.  Get out of the Dark Ages!  That thing is a 50 pound paper weight.  You should solder the case together, tie a rope around it, and use it as a boat anchor.  It is borderline useless.  I'm surprised your monitor hasn't died on you yet.  If it does die on you, you should replace the whole thing, not just the monitor.  I realize that you spent a lot of money on it when you bought it, but now it is G-A-R-B-A-G-E!  And you Mac users...  Isn't it time you stop playing with your little iToys and get a grownup computer.  (Okay, I think I've offended enough people for today.)  Anyhow...  The CSS project is coming soon, but it is not finished yet.  The frames project is partially done.  This is a major overhaul, so it will take some time.

      January 22, 2003: Today I uploaded my brand new CSS project.  It is still unfinished, but if you want to see a preview of what it will look like click here!  It includes a new addition to the Holy Humor collection which takes up the entire second group of jokes.

      January 24 - 26, 2003: Groups 3 and 4 in the CSS project are up and running.  Click the link above or the new link below to see them.  I have also revised this page a little.  I made a new background image of the smiley guy.  It looks cooler now, I think.   I added yet another new joke to the Holy Humor Collection in the CSS Project.   It is in Group 2, Joke 06 immediately after the joke about The Flood.  The new joke is called The New Preacher.

      January 29, 2003: The Index to the CSS Project is now a Cascading Style Sheet itself.  It contains two parts: The Jokes Index and The Humorous Pictures And Cartoons Index.  For this new Pictures Index I have added thumbnail images of every picture for your convenience (and my convenience, not to mention that it looks cooler).  This new index will replace the older Pictures Index.

      February 2, 2003:  Today I added the Brainy T Shirt joke to the Humorous Pictures section and I added Group 5 (The Redneck Collection) to the CSS project.

      February 8 - 10, 2003:  A busy three days for updates!  I added Groups 6 through 8 to the CSS project.  I also added two more pictures to the Humorous Pictures section, and I also put two funny airplane pictures at the end of the Airline Humor Joke (13 in the CSS Project).  I modified the CSS Joke Index as well.  I also made minor formatting changes to the other groups in the CSS Project.

      February 16, 2003:  Today I added Group 9 to the Jokes Section and two new pictures to the Funny Pictures Section.

      February 21, 2003:  Added Group 10 about New Words For The English Language to the Jokes Section and a new picture to the Funny Pictures Section.

      February 22, 2003: Added Group 11 today.   I have almost finished putting all of the jokes from the old Joke Index into the Cascading Style Sheet Project.  Once I have finished Group 12 (Coming Soon!) I will remove the old Joke Index and the CSS Project will officially be the main source of fun and enjoyment.

      March 2, 2003: Added Group 12 today (finally).  Now all of the jokes that were on the old joke index are in the CSS Joke Index.  I can now get rid of the old index.  I also added another funny picture to the Humorous Pictures Section of the CSS Joke Index.

 

Okay, enough chit chat.  Here's the Links:


(The Cascading Style Sheet Joke Index and The Humorous Pictures And Cartoons Index)

If you use AOL Instant Messenger check out this site:
http://www.aimaddict.com/

 

 

Here is my most recent picture: