OK.  Here is the deal.  As of recently I have finally realised that I need to start living life the way that I want to live it.  Now generally I am a nice, loving guy.  Good to my friends, loving and dedicated to my girlfriends, kind to old people, and like I had said, overall a nice, caring guy, always going out of the way to make others happy.  Realistically, I am NOT happy.  Constantly making other people happy does have it rewards from time to time, but I am sick of being unhappy myself and putting up with people's worthless bullshit.  So, I am starting anew.

     From now on out, if you try to fuck with me, I will fuck you back...but I will do it with a vengance!  I am sick of getting walked all over by worthless bitches of people who don't even deserve a 2nd look from me.  Basically it falls back on the main things that annoy me...if you say you are gonna call me, then FUCKING CALL ME!  That is always my biggest one cause this shit has always happened from day one.  Sorry but if you don't, we are done...you don't have time to call me?  I don't have time for you in my life.  It is as simple as that.  A phone call takes up on the average about 3 minutes...3 minutes!!!  I am not worth that?!  If we make plans, keep them and don't bail...this is one that gets to me at times too.  I have better things to do with my life, and better people to spend it with rather than sitting around waiting for your sorry ass!  Many times I will make plans, have others come up and refuse due to earlier plans...then they never show up or bail...leaving me SOL!  FUCK THAT!  Just remember that no matter how much I enjoy our time spent, you can just as easily be replaced by someone willing to put forth an effort...I am putting out an effort to be friends with you and I expect the same effort put back.

     Now as for more personal relationships, for the most part expectations are the same, but I do expect more.  OK, yes I have been called easy and a whore before, but you know what?  I really don't give a rat's ass cause most of the people saying that can't even get play from themselves, let alone someone else.  I am constantly looked down upon cause I CAN have sex without being romantically/emotionally involved.  People get horny, fucking deal with it!  Now I have always had the upmost respect and admiration for my girlfriend's.  I just wish that they could show me the same.  I have never, and will never, cheat on any of my girlfriends, that is something I feel strongly against and that is just how I am.  On the same hand, I will NOT put up with cheating either, you cheat on me and we are done, not just then, but forever!  Fuck You!  I will NOT deal with it.

     I also expect to spend time with you and be able to be with you.  Now granted we each have our own seperate lives, but when we are going out, we have a life together to.  Now if you are tired, busy, emotional, tied up with family/friends, etc, etc, etc then I am sorry, but I have no time in my life emotionally or physically for that heartache.  Sort your fucking shit out then go out with me, I do not put you on the back burner and do NOT expect to be done that way either.

     If you don't agree?  Fuck you!  Deal with it and move on cause I will anyways, whether you like it or not.  Now granted I AM the jealous type, I am also very understanding and always believe in an open communication in a relationship.  That is just a few of the basics other than normal relationship stuff too.

     So you may ask why all of this and why now?  Well most people know that I was married and some of the stories and shit that I dealt with, but no one knows everything and I doubt that anyone will.  I don't care to let people know, just that I will probably NEVER trust another woman again...even today I try to trust them with my feelings and they constantly throw it back in my face.  I have had quite a few BAD relatioships, well, all except 2, and I am not about to waste my time and energy on another one!  Marriage?  I might try it again, but the right girl has not come along and will probably never will.  This world is full of shitty people and they all tend to come towards me!

     I had a rough time last night dealing with some things, real rough time.  I got drunk more than I ever have in my entire life...we are talking a case an hour.  The point to where I almost killed myself a couple times if it wasn't for people being there to stop me.  I realised that life is way to short to have to be dealing with people that treat me the ways some do.  So from this day forward I just want to give you a warning, be prepared cause I am NOT dealing with it anymore and not letting a girl push me to that point again in my life...EVER!