Favorite Quotes

"It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye: then it's all fun and games without depth perception."

"If you eat bananas every day, will you grow up to become a fruit?"

"May the Swartz be with you" ~Yogurt

"Co-ed Naked Quiz Bowl For Life!"

~press my buzzer!~

"Life's a bitch, and then you die/marry one"

"What artist does Webster have on his tie today?"

"I hate you" ~Gil

"Headlights!!!" ~Bradd

"Mullet love!" ~CJ

"I'm not a pyro. I just play with fire all the time." ~Rob

"But Dr. Bob said it was ok!"

"Parents are so paradoxical, you can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em"

"It's better to have loved and lost then never to have lost at all" ~Curtis

"Who's your weed man?"

"Now Rob, don't let the mice out of their cage or burn down the house while I'm gone" ~JP's mom

"Agh...Rob, you're giving me a heart-attack" ~Dan

"You best be representin' South DH!"

"I don't mean to be rude, but...(insert rude phrase here)."

"Briggs, Lyman Briggs is the name." ~JP

"I love you Angie!" ~Rob

"Why do they produce more offspring?...they're not just hornier!" ~Dr. Kenneth E. Lewis

"Did you just say that you want to have sex with me?" ~lady at the Taco Bell drive through window

"If you want to be worshipped, go to India and moo." ~Drew

"Math is like sex, you can't just read about it, you have to experience it!"

"It's all about the blue boxes...those are the holy grail in this class!" ~Calc II TA, Stephen

"I will spit acid in your eyes and blind you" ~"Furby" in Jerky Boy's phone call

"NO MEANS NO, YOU BASTARD!" ~Ah, L'Amour

"You can't rape the willing"

"NAS-ASS" nuff said! *National Alliance of those with Strong Anti-Scott Sentiments* JOIN TODAY!

"Procrastination is like masturbation. It feels good at first, and you keep doing it but in the end you are just fucking yourself!"

"Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity" ~somewhere on JP's profile

"What did the penguin say when he jumped off of the iceburg?"..."RADIOOOOOOOOOO!"

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"Every morning when I wake up, I experience an exquisite joy - the joy of being Salvador Dalí - and I ask myself in rapture, ‘What wonderful things this Salvador Dalí is going to accomplish today?’"

"At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since."

"The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot."

"There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction."

"Wars have never hurt anybody except the people who die."

"When I was five years old I saw an insect that had been eaten by ants and of which nothing remained except the shell. Through the holes in its anatomy one could see the sky. Every time I wish to attain purity I look at the sky through flesh."

"Have no fear of perfection -- you'll never reach it."

~Salvador Felipe Jacinto Dalí

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"It appears that you have decided to grow old. If you do not take these next few moments to partake in foolish nonsense, I am afraid that you will be lost altogether." ~DrBob

"B ( .)( .) B I E S !" ~Bradd

"So like...there was this guy who did this stuff with this other guy...and the first guy saw that the other guy was doing stuff with this chick...and so the guy without a chick took a chainsaw...started it...and...cut down a tree cause it had been a nuissance for a really long time."

"Man made beer, God made weed...who you gonna trust?" ~CJ

"Dude...you have some serious thrill issues" ~turtle dude in Finding Nemo

"Baileys is great!" ~Jeny Horne

"Zed's dead baby...Zed's dead" ~Pulp Fiction