There is nothing here for me. Everything is gone. My life, my past. Now I’m left to trudge into new times with nothing to help me. No one in which to confide. I’m but a thought swaying with some far off wind. A ghost, haunting life unknowing. Moving into the future, nothing to lose, nowhere to run back to. I have nothing, yurn nothing. Only wish to be seen. I search my mind for something to grasp and I see her, the beautiful friend who was always there for me. She knew me, understood me. She could see my ghastly form. Strawberry-golden strands fell from her head, thin wires encased her eyes. Those eyes which only her smile could be superior. Her smile that ignited love in even the coldest of hearts. How I miss her. How I long to feel her, hugging her in my arms. I’m lonely without her but I know I’ll see her again. I walk endlessly onward into the sunset, a phantom against the world. Society has no place for me, I wish but to love and be loved. Nothing else matters, I’ve lived my life, which has left me, everything taken away. My how the world is cruel. The universe seems to hate all existence. I am empty. No joy, no sorrow, no love, no hate, no sadness, no rage, no pain. Looking out at the passersby, how I envy them. Forever in an endless cycle of timeless age. They’ll never escape the pain but they are numb to it. They hide away from the truth. They live in fear, fear of hurt, fear of loss, fear of death, fear of life. They stand back and appoint someone else to control them. Send them out like mindless zombies. All this can be seen through spectral eyes. The invisible that see the world because they have no place in it and wish not to create one. And again my mind flows back to her and her cheerful expressions that could call out the sun on a gloomy day. Call forth the sun? no she is the sun, the friend who would do anything for the greater good. She is heavenly, God’s messenger. To live life the best I can and to not worry about when or how it will end. Don’t fear what is thereafter. Greatness will be rewarded. But the Father loves all his children and those whom civilization enslaves will not be punished. I drift, an empty shell, nothing but the clothes on my back, which I would gladly give a man in need. God sent her to me. To burn himself into my heart with her face. She’s an angel, a lovely angel. I journey forever into the night. Passing a cemetery gate, passing headstone after headstone, mausoleum after mausoleum. The graves seem to reach out and touch the faces of those who converse with the dead. They mourn for the ones they loved, they miss them. They can hear the dead speak in their ears alone. A connection, a pact was made. A bond of souls. A togetherness that surpasses life. Only true love can create this jointness of spirit. As one moves on to His kingdom it will set a place for the other at the feast of all saints where we all will sit. God does not judge, he in all his wisdom knows it fairer to let thee be thine own Judge. I am no saint, just a servant to myself. I learn from the world and the mistakes made by all. I do good of my own heart because I know it to be right. I do not mourn the loss of mortality, I envy the enlightenment which I cannot reach. Walking on into the morn,, I lay to rest and again sweet thought of her. My North-star, my ground, my guiding light, my gold in this twirl of change. She will not deceive, no sin will enter her mind or escape her body. She loves the world and all its occupants and gets no praise for it. She is alone for all her troubles. Well know this my savior, I love you with all my head and all my heart, I will always be with you. Think of me. I appreciate you and we can help each other through. With a kiss blown to the sky, the spectre fades into shadow.
For Rachel Brewster And anyone else who wishes to see the world through spectral eyes.