1. Just because it is called a beaver, doesn’t mean you can make a coat out of it.
2. Always check a beer’s label for “Imported from the USA”.
3. Checks are for hockey not finances.
4. Robertson is the best damn screw ever invented.
5. God’s name is Wayne Gretzky.
6. Our leader may get sex in his office but it is none of our damn business.
7. American beer is not!
8. War is easy. Peacekeeping is the tough part.
9. We export the world’s best news anchors.
10. Quebec is like an older sister with PMS.
11. Canada: The Homeless Capital of the World
12. Canada: Open 24 hours a day!
13. No wonder they call it the Loonie.
14. Our postal workers aren’t allowed to carry arms.
15. Rye is for drinking not sandwiches.
16. Hydro means electricity.
17. “About” doesn’t rhyme with “hoot”.
18. Celine Dion is the dictionary-definition of ugly.
19. Shania Twain is excellent on mute.
20. Our liquor is kept out of corner stores to confuse the Americans.
