Mothers (page 2)




Advanced Motherhood!


Welcome This site is dedicated to Michelle for the years that are ahead as a new mother & when she advances into another stage of Motherhood...I'm sure she'll relate to the material below...Hope you enjoy this site & come back soon...Sign guestbook on Homepage & let me know you were here. Thanks, Dottie



Maybe it starts when you realize rock concerts give you a headache. Or that you're offering to cut up other people's food. Or you catch yourself ending a discussion with, "Because I'm the Mother, that's why!" You've reached a new level of motherhood. All the warning signs are there. You know you've crossed the threshold into advanced "Mommydom" when:

You count the sprinkles on each kid's to make sure they're equal.

You want to take out a contract on the who broke your son's favorite toy and made him .

You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hide in the to be alone.

Your child throws up and you catch it.

Someone else's kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.

You consider finger to be a controlled substance.

You've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and on a plate without anything touching.

Your child insists that you read "Once Upon A Potty" out loud in the lobby of Grand Central Terminal, and you do it!

You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.

You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.

You hate the thought of his wife even more.

You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.

You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.

You become a member of three aquariums because your kid loves sharks.

You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at , then obsess when he skips in without looking back the second time.

You can't bear to give away baby clothes ... it's so final.

You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

You lose sleep.

You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.

You read that the average five-year-old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your is "above average."

You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.

You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job," but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything!
Written by: Liane Kupferberg Carter



email dottiewv@hotmail.com





Grandson


The End!


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Graphics by Penny Parker


Artist Vikimouse