I am Responsible for Apartheid

These versions of the song are how I originally wrote them. I just wrote them dirty and cleaned them up afterwards so that they could actually be posted on Wrassle. There are more than just swear words in this version though… a few lines here and there have been changed or added (not really added, just removed in the original version). I have no problem here saying “Fuck the EC” instead of “Funk” and within the song there are a few extra lines, such as a few more overtly OOC things that couldn’t be put on the TSOB board.

At the time of the Evil vs. Evil Match, I wrote a real short & easy Puff Daddy song which I decided to shitcan. I put it here just for the hell of it. Also, I’m noting in hindsight how unfunny “I Am Responsible for Apartheid” is – the whole thing contains obscure political science, history, and Denzel Washington “jokes” that I don’t even think are funny; and I’m the only one who even gets them. *sigh* Still, it’s the thought of being racist that counts.

I know, I know. Just skip all of them and scroll to the bottom. That’s where “Proto Shakes it Three Times” is. And whilst I am being anecdotal, this song is based on “Shake it Three Times,” which is pretty much a song about jerkin’ off that a friend of mine in High School wrote after I created a “Write Your Own 2-Live Crew Song” instruction resource. We did this about 3 years before Good Charlotte had “shake it three times… you’re playing with yourself” in one of their songs. And since that band is from the other side of our county line I’m sure they stole that from us. Really.

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You are Just the Prototype

I’m the Docta A… and I’m here to say… that I’m the primo hype

And you… yeah you… you are just the Prototype

It’s true, in fact, that you be the first of your kind

But the Physician on a Mission came up and left ya behind

You used to be legit

You used to be the shit

But now when it comes to evil… you ain’t it a bit

I am perfection of hate and malice

In the kingdom of sin I sit in the palace

You used to have the throne

Then you pick up the phone

It’s a call from Reality Check

You better hit the deck!

You are just the Prototype

But I’m the perfection of your evil model

Your punk ass we’re gonna snipe

Way ahead in immorality I do throttle

You are just the Prototype

A sample, a test so they could then make me

You have now got a gripe

Cuz you ain’t quite as evil - that’s easy to see

Who’s the most evil in the whole of wrassle?

And what about CSlam if ya wanna hastle?

The answer is clear and it’s near… its in your face

Turn your ass around and look at me posthaste

I kill the babies and I discriminate

I am the docta that ya just love ta hate

So turn around Proto, and meet your maker

No check that fool… cuz I’m your undertaker

And no…

I don’t mean that bitch who is old!!!

You are just the Prototype

The first draft of sin and not the final product

Your punk ass we’re gonna snipe

Replace you with me because ya really just sucked

You are just the Prototype

A sample of what possible things there could be

You have now got a gripe

You were the first, but everyone was just waiting for me

With the evil you may be fresh, but I am overripe

Yeah bitch, I am talking to you, Mr. Pro-to-type

You just can’t quite live up to the criminal hype

It’d be best if I just hit ya on a head with a lead pipe

Like in Clue!

Yeah. I’m Colonel Mustard, bitch!

You’re the first, but you’re the worst, when it’s down to me and you

They had to make the Prototype before they made the man who’s true

True evil that is, I straight stole your biz

And if it ever came down to just you and me

You’d do about as well as Stuman in a spelling bee

Cuz you’re outdated, you’re yesterdays news

In this 5-match contest you’re bound to lose

You are just the Prototype

About as evil as a basket of kittens

Your punk ass we’re gonna snipe

Unless we’re talking about evil ass Mittens

You are just the Prototype

You are Diet Coke while I’ve got vanilla

You have now got a gripe

Too bad, now bow down to the evil baby killa!

This Song is Licensed by Nakedman Hiphop Company, a subsidiary of Nakedman Industries™. Reproduction of this song without written permission of Nakedman Industries is prohibited by law.

Physician on a Mission

I’m the Physician on a Mission

A Mission of mayhem

But not Project Mayhem, cuz they really suck

UNGH!

The name is Doctor A, and day by day, I have my way

But let me present you with no distortion…

Of the truth… because the A stands for Abortion

And I make a fortune

My name is the game, no one else is the same

It’s almost like extortion

How the money flows in cuz my baby killing fame

All the loose ladies got my number in their rolodex

Don’t get me wrong, they don’t want me for sex

But they do want to do my maniacal mission

Yeah man, it’s trimester termination that’s my ambition

I’m the Physician on a Mission

You best give recognition

When it comes to wrassling I’m a technician

The king of submission

I break your body down through attrition

I’m an artist... like Titian

I paint the ring with your blood cuz it’s my tradition

I’m like ammunition

When I cause demolition

But really I’m just a physician.

A physician on a mission

Now if you had any intuition

You would do the addition

And figure out that I’m dynamite

No, check that – I’m like fission

But I’m more like a magician

I magically make things appear before your cognition

Like pain…

I bring suffering and death to your condition

You run from me like I’m the inquisition

Only there ain’t no comfy chairs in my damn rendition

Cuz I’m the physician

The physician on a mission

This song… I wrote like an expert musician

Who’d of thought I never took one audition?

Now here’s an admission

When you’re talking evil, Dr. A is the definition

Just check it in Webster’s new edition

I’m like a corrupt politician

Or worse, I am a nightmarish apparition

A spooky ghost with plans of sedition

But still I’m a physician.

A physician on a mission

Yet I’m part of a commission

The Doc with Roe and Wade are the prime coalition

Ah, but I made one omission… someone I left out before

Maybe I left her out cuz she’s a dirty whore

She’s Ms. C… and she’s into exhibition

No wonder she got her boobs lifted into that whack position

But here is a proposition

I’m sure you’re getting tired of this rhymezone.com repetition

So lets make a transition…

Now it’s time that the Doc perform surgery

But don’t get that other bitch confused with me

It’s Dr. A, and not Dr. Dre; ain’t in no wreckin crew

But I do wreck the babies, now that is true

Seven Days a Week, I’m on Call

To beat the other wrasslers into the wall

Babies feel terminated as I operate

Trashcans of babies is what I generate

I’ll prescribe to you my potent elixir

Then I’ll stick two babies in the mixer

I’ll kill your baby, wherever you be

Calling Dr. A to surgery!

This Song is Licensed by Nakedman Hiphop Company, a subsidiary of Nakedman Industries™. Reproduction of this song without written permission of Nakedman Industries is prohibited by law

I am Responsible for Apartheid

Yo Yo Yo

Proto thinks he’s evil

Proto thinks he’s tight

Get ready for upheaval

His punk ass I shalt smite

Word.

What evil shit has he done?

Swear on a Board of Doom?

I do more than poke fun

And you will know soon

You say my evil is on the interior?
Just the hell up Proto… you’re the punk who’s inferior
So ya make eagle soup?
Well if that’s as low as you’ll stoop
Then I don’t have to worry
I’ll beat you in a hurry

Because…

I am Responsible for Apartheid

Guess who threw Nelson Mandella in Jail!

I am Responsible for Apartheid

I made sure that Bitch ain’t get bail

I am Responsible for Apartheid

Who’s the man with the plan who banned the ANC?

I am Responsible for Apartheid

All you suckas know that homie was me!

Most wrasslin’ punks

Think that DTA

Means “Don’t Trust Anybody”

Well it means “Democratic Turnhale Alliance”… bitch!

It’s an Organization that ain’t shoddy

That I made to disembody

Any Black Nationalists who showed defiance

And through my compliance

I launched a social science

To make sure Black Africa died.

And I called that shit…

Yeah, I called that shit…

I called it Apartheid!!

Ungh Yeah.

I am Responsible for Apartheid

It was me who killed Steve Biko

Johnny Q Cried for Freedom ‘fore he went down in Glory

I am Responsible for Apartheid

He got blown away like a Hurricane… and that’s a true story

You may think I’m lying

You may think this ain’t the tru’f

But I’ll show your punkass contrary

…And here be my proof

In 66’ I took an Oath-a

And named myself P Dubya Botha

I wasn’t just de clerk

I was de man in charge

Had just one little quirk…

A plan to oppress that was large

Saw a man dark and tan

Threw him in a Bantustan

Went to the Church of St. Johns

Started rappin’ in Afrikaans

Was in command the Sharpeville Massacre

I’m Responsible for Apartheid… and that’s for sure!

Uh-huh

I am Responsible for Apartheid

Invaded Namibia to kill the Swapo

I am Responsible for Apartheid

Who’s da man with the White African Gestapo?

I am Responsible for Apartheid
Club freedom fighters so hard that they get that amnesia

I am Responsible for Apartheid

Then I get bored and set up a puppet government in Rhodesia…

Now I’d run and hide cuz you’re gonna get fried, cuz it’s bonafide
That I… uh hu… yeah… I made Apartheid.
So Proto you ho, talk about me being a working Joe
That shit don’t work because my job is to throb
And beat… humanity down
Take the smile away from children and turn to a frown

You say you hate equally,
Which means you hate more than me,
But here’s my sequel see…
I hate sorry pale bitches just like the EC…

Now I’d run and hide cuz you’re gonna get fried, cuz it’s bonafide

That I… uh hu… yeah… I made Apartheid.

BITCH!!!!

This Song is Licensed by Nakedman Hiphop Company, a subsidiary of Nakedman Industries™. Reproduction of this song without written permission of Nakedman Industries is prohibited by law.

Fuck the EC

by M.W.A (Medics With Attitude; Dr. A, MC Roe and Eazy-W)

[Dr. A]

Fuck tha EC
Comin straight from the underground
A young slammer got it bad cuz I frown
On their stupid whack ass policies
They have the authority to suspend a guy like me

Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't in the role
For a punk ass exec with some internet control
To be fining, and locked in the UCE
Got a bullet with your name and it’s straight from me

Fuckin with me cuz I'm a rebellious wrassla
Who broke a few policies with pizzazz, yeah
Searchin my posts, lookin for infractions
Hopin’ every flash will be my last one

You'd rather see me in suspension

Then me and Alvarado rollin with bravado

Beat the EC outta shape
Cuz in my post, won’t let me make fun of rape
Don’t want me jokin about killin a unborn daughter
But the docta says these rules are fodder

I don't know if they’re old bags or what
Probably listen Journey and then bust a nut
And on the other hand

Without their power to eject they can't get no respect
Just aging Canadians on a power trip
But they slam ya down on the Wrassle Net
Cuz they fine and delete you if you give them lip

Dr. A will give no pity
To any muthafucka on that weak ass committee
Just cuz I'm the Doc from DC

The punk EC is afraid of me

A young physician on a mission
And when I'm finished, the EC will be in position
To get blasted, by the Docta A
Yo Wade, I got somethin to say

Fuck the EC

Fuck the EC

[MC Roe]

Fuck tha EC and Roe said it with authority
Cuz your committee is nothing but a sorority

A gang of giggling girls who act like they steppin
But don’t realize I’m the ultimate weapon
And I’m kept-in’

The docta’s posts to defy wrassle law
EC’s wishin' Roe was a NPC that they never saw

EC always watchin’ out behind me
They're scared of my posts so they delete them and fine me
But that shit don't work, I just laugh
And make another post where Hawgie fucks a calf

To the Execs I'm sayin fuck you punks
Tellin me fed policies, it's all junk
Warning me about deletion, so they stand
Got another browser open to porn wit they dick in they hand

But get off your ISP, so you can see what's up
And come down to DC, and I'ma fuck you up

Make some posts that go cross-fed
Two punk Canucks, they wish Roe was dead
Go and have the policy to make it a crime

EC bitches make me do three days time

But them muthafuckas just left me
Dumb bitches can’t count to three
Took a damn week before I was free
So I’ll take out a Exec or two, cuz they fucked wit me

I’m the muthafuckin valet that's bad
Seein Roe gone would make the EC glad
But I'm a turn it around
Make a post, yo, and write about toast
Yeah, but that toast better not be burnt

Cuz then that bread would have to be hurt

Takin out the EC would make my day
But a wrassler like Roe don't give a fuck to say

Fuck the EC

Fuck the EC

[Eazy-W]
I'm tired of this muthafuckin committee
Jealous of my posts cuz their own are so shitty
Warning me ‘bout OOC, and for what?
Maybe it's because I kick so much butt!

I kick ass… or maybe it’s cuz I’ll be last
To get the EC ream, try to force me to go Extreme
Na… I ain’t givin them no fifteen bucks
Do I look like the bank for those stupid fucks?

They read all my posts in silence
Afraid that the docta promotes violence
Can’t put Eazy-W in the hall as a builder
Cuz I swore so much I broke the language filter

Without suspensions and fines, what do ya got?
A sucka on an ICQ, who bitches a lot
That’s all that the EC is
A bunch of old men, tryin to mess with my biz

I tried to create a gay Hispanic Jewish amputee
But the EC’s always sayin it’s not done respectfully
Dumb muthafuckas who don’t wanna have fun
And if catch em straight, the Execs will be the ones
That I take out, and then get away
And while my midget ass waddles off laughin’
This is what I'll say…

Fuck the EC

Fuck the EC

This Song is Licensed by Deaf Roe records. No, not Death Row records. One day Roe was listening to some music too loud and started to get this humming in his ears. The next day he couldn’t hear a thing and was diagnosed as deaf; only the weird thing was… uh… never mind, it’s kind of a long and boring story. You wouldn’t be interested.

Bling Bling is a Panda (Special Bonus Rap)

Bling Bling is a Panda

That lives in DC

Take it from me

He’s a sight to see…

Word!

Bling Bling is an all Black Panda, but with a lot of Gold

Ain’t got no White spots, that Black Bear is bold

So he’s cute and fuzzy, but my man got them diamonds

He’s the heartbreaking, cherry popping G who busts all the hymens

Brings in the honeys with his fluffy body

Too bad my Negro Bear don’t even know how to use the potty!

Yeah! That bitch shits in the grass!

Word!

Now all you homies know me as the Doc from DC

And I’m bout to tell you more ‘bout this Black Panda G

I may be the baby killing man when it comes to the ring

But when it’s time to sing, I gotta say who is the king

He’s the king of swing and his name is Bling.

Yeah…

It’s Bling Bling.

Now if he wanted to… this Black Bear could pop you and drop you

But your lucky… cuz my boy rather be eatin’ bamboo

Word!

They told you bout Hsing Hsing and Ling Ling

When we opened up relations with the PRC… in the 73’

But then them white bitches hid Bling Bling

Didn’t want you to know about the all-black Panda

Fuck that Government propaganda!

My holmes Bling Bling sparkles like the finest Champagne

But if you hear the shattering glass you know his gun is aimed at your brain

Now I know what your bitch ass be thinking

A bear with opposable thumbs… Man – You must be drinkin!

Naww…

You ougtta she his shit… cuz he’s so legit… The all black Panda with the Deuce Deuce

When you stand in his way, you know Bling Bling gonna cut loose

Then he gonna cut you again… but this time with his claws

Cuz he’s got em.

Yeah man… big fucking claws!

Word!

All the fine ass honeys see my Panda Mac Daddy and say he’s the thing

Cuz he’s the prime time player, the bamboo shoot slayer, yeah… he’s the Bling

He’s got that certain zing that which makes them sing and makes them cling

When he’s got them in the bed, or in the grass

Yeah man… Pandas go anywhere to tap that ass!

Now out of all the Panda ladies, there ain’t one that the Bling missed

Bling got so many babies, he took Pandas off the endangered species list

Yeah. With his dick!

Haha.

Now since Bling Bling is a Black Panda, you know he’s got to be long

Between those legs he got a ten-inch caterpillar with the girth of a bong

SPX got jealous and tried to take Bling Bling down

But look who won, because you don’t see SPX around…

Yeah… Bling messed him up so bad he made him inactive.

Word!

And one day Bling Bling saw this photo

Was of a punk mofo by the name of Proto

So the big Black Panda took out his revolver…

Goddamn Motherfucker… Bling accidentally shot Evolver!

Bling made him inactive too. Daaaamn.

Now Bling likes the jewelry, or so I’m told

If there is one thing you don’t do – it’s mess with his gold

He’s like Mr. T and he’ll toss you

Only he’s a bear so he’ll maul you too

And eat bamboo.

Cuz that’s what panda bears do.

Word!

This Song is Licensed by Nakedman Hiphop Company, a subsidiary of Nakedman Industries™. Reproduction of this song without written permission of Nakedman Industries is prohibited by law.

Ode to P. Diddy (aka: Ungh Huh Yeah)

Previously Unreleased Mocking of an Untalented Shit

Ungh huh yeah

Yeah ungh ungh… yeah yeah awww
That’s right

Ungh ungh yeah yeah
Ungh… Bad Boy in the hiz-ouse

Huh Easssiiide
Ungh yeah huh huh… awww ungh
Fo sho’

Ungh huh ungh huh… bling bling ungh
Huh huh yeah huh huh ungh

S’what I’m talking bout
Uh awww yeah… mad money

Yeah huh… yeah Benjamins
Yeah mad propz… ungh yeah

I banged J-Lo… ungh huuh
Huh ungh awww… skillz me be gotzed… huh yeah
Bling bling… awww… ungh huh ungh ungh
Yeah he be a panda… ungh huh

Huh yeah huh… mad propz awww
Ungh yeah ungh huh
I gotz them diamonds

Ungh yeah ungh huh ungh ungh
I gotz my homies

Yeah yeah ungh huh yeah huh

This is fo’ you Biggie!

This Song is Licensed by Nakedman Hiphop Company, a subsidiary of Nakedman Industries™. Reproduction of this song without written permission of Nakedman Industries is prohibited by law

Proto Shakes it Three Times

[Dr. A]

You go to the bathroom [Backup Singers]

Yeah!

You go to the bathroom

Yeah!

Cuz if you don’t you’re gonna get the gout!

Not Syphilis!

You go to the bathroom

Yeah!

You go to the bathroom

Yeah!

And you can’t get those last few drops out!

That could be Syphilis!

So what do you do?

Do you have a clue?

Do you shake it?

SHAKE IT!!!

Shake it?

SHAKE IT!!!

Shake it?

Naa man… not three times!

Three times.

What's wrong with that?

It’s too close to masturbating, that’s a fact.

That’s right!

So shake it once!

Go ahead! Go ahead!

Shake it twice!

Keep it going! Keep it going!

Don’t shake it three times

Shake it three times

Shake it three times – You KNOW it ain’t a’ight!

Naww!

Now one day I was in the lavatory

Takin a piss!

I heard this man in the stall next to me

Uh-oh

But that ain’t the end of the story

It isn’t?

He shook it more times than needed to get rid of the pee

Aww man!

He shook it once!

Go ahead! Go ahead!

He shook it twice!

Keep it going! Keep it going!

He shook it three times

Shook it three times

Shook it three times– You KNOW it ain’t a’ight!

Naww!

Shakin in three times, I was like damn…

This man is mending his meat

Like a cop on the beat!

He’s taking a shake break

He’s petting his snake!

He was over there throbbing

While he was Fist-Kebabing!!

And this man’s name…

Was PROTOTYPE!!!

Yeah, it was Prototype

Proto shakes it once!

Go ahead! Go ahead!

Proto shakes it twice!

Keep it going! Keep it going!

Proto shakes it three times

Shake it three times

Shake it three times – You KNOW it ain’t a’ight!

Naww… Proto’s whack!!!

Yeah. Whackin off that is…

Damn skippy!

Now I know sometimes the jimmy needs a little help

A shake or two!

But this Prototype man let out a yelp

That ain’t cool

I could tell he wasn’t just going for the last drop

Like at the gas pump

Proto shook it twice and he ain’t stop

Red light, man! Stop!

This man ain’t evil but he sure is sick

Sounds like it

Cuz he found a public place to beat his dick

Not In Public!!!

Proto shakes it once!

Go ahead! Go ahead!

Proto shakes it twice!

Keep it going! Keep it going!

Proto shakes it three times

Shake it three times

Shake it three times – You KNOW it ain’t a’ight!

Naww

Proto shakes it once!

One Time! One Time!

Proto shakes it twice!

Twice as Nice! Twice as Nice!

Proto shakes it three times

Shake it three times

Shake it three times – You KNOW it ain’t a’ight!

That’s too much!

And then he didn’t wash his hands!

Don’t touch the doorknob!!!

And don’t eat his fuckin’ lollypops.

This Song is Licensed by Nakedman Hiphop Company, a subsidiary of Nakedman Industries™. Reproduction of this song without written permission of Nakedman Industries is prohibited by law