starring PAUL MERTON, GRAHAM NORTON, ROSS NOBLE and SUE PERKINS, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 31 January 2005)
NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!
THEME MUSIC
NP: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my huge pleasure to welcome our many listeners, not only in this country but throughout the world. But particularly to welcome to the show this week four outstanding, delightful, daring, definitive players of this game. And we have sitting on my right, somebody who is always a pleasure to have back here, that outstanding comedian, Paul Merton. And sitting beside him we have another marvellous comedian who can be quite surreal on occasions, that is Ross Noble. And sitting on my left we have another engaging and self-effacing comedian who sometimes can be very outrageous, and that is Graham Norton. And sitting beside him we have a delightful comedy performer and presenter, that is Sue Perkins. And will you please welcome all four of them! As usual I'm going to ask them to speak on a subject that I give them and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. Sitting beside me is Janet Staplehurst, she is going to hold a stopwatch, she'll make a note of the score, she'll blow her whistle when the 60 seconds has elapsed. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the Mermaid Theatre at Puddledock near Blackfriars near the city of London. And we have an amazing audience here, drawn from every part of this great metropolis of London who have come together to cheer us on our way. And they're dying for us to get started. So let's start the show this week with Paul Merton and who better. Paul, the subject is what I would say to a mermaid. Will you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.
PAUL MERTON: I was very fortunate to go out with a mermaid once. Lovely creature! Vital statistics, 36, 24 and 78 pence a pound! Wonderful! A mermaid, I think, is a beautiful creature, isn't it. If we can imagine...
BUZZ
NP: Ross has challenged.
ROSS NOBLE: Repetition of creature.
PM: Oh yes.
NP: Yes.
PM: Definitely. Definitely, yeah, yeah, that's right.
NP: Well listened. So you get a point for a correct challenge of course, and you have 50 seconds to take over the subject of what I would say to a mermaid starting now.
RN: What I would say to a mermaid is "can I be your agent?" Because all I would have to do is take her down to Seaworld, put on a dolphin mask, and she would pass herself off as some sort of performing creature. Oh yes I'd make a fortune, because not only would she be able to jump through a hoop, she'd be able to make an omelette and other things...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Ah repetition of she'd be able.
NP: She would be able, yes.
SUE PERKINS: Do dolphins make omelettes?
NP: Mmmm?
PM: It's true.
RN: Strictly speaking, underwater you can't get the gas working. But you know... just leave it.
NP: Paul a correct challenge, a point to you, and you have 32 seconds, you take back the subject of what I would say to a mermaid starting now.
PM: There was a marvellous film called Miranda starring Glynis Johns. I think it was made about 1948. That captured the British heart because they went to see this film, and they thought to themselves, what a wonderful depiction...
BUZZ
NP: Ross challenged again.
RN: Was it repetition of film.
NP: Yes.
PM: Could have been.
NP: Yes there was definitely, yes. The film was made, and they went to see this film. Twenty-two seconds Ross, you've got the subject back again, what I would say to a mermaid starting now.
RN: "Put your fins away, love, you're stinking up the place! You know, it's a lovely hot day, and quite frankly, the pong coming off you smells like the back of my local fishmongers." Unfortunately for mermaids, they can't use deodorant because it tends to dry the scales out, and they fall out of the...
BUZZ
NP: Sue Perkins you've challenged.
SP: Hesitation.
NP: No, I don't think so, I think he was going in fine form. He was, he was getting a bit quieter admittedly. But it was lovely to hear from you Sue!
SP: Thank you! That's me done for the night then!
NP: No it was an incorrect challenge so Ross you have another point and you have three seconds on the subject starting now.
RN: I would say (makes bubbling noise) because she'd be underwater...
BUZZ
NP: Paul has challenged yes.
PM: Repetition.
NP: Of what?
PM: Of (makes bubbling noise but not as well as Ross).
NP: That's right. I'm afraid you did repeat (makes bubbling noise). So Paul, another correct challenge, another point to you, and two seconds available starting now.
PM: I'd throw up a huge amount of chips...
WHISTLE
NP: So at the end of the first round Paul Merton and Ross Noble did most of the talking, and they've finished up equal in the lead with three points each. Sue Perkins begins the next round, and there's a chance to hear from you Sue on flower power. Can you tell us something about flower power in this game starting now.
SP: Flower power is a term that refers to a breakaway separatist horticultural movement, started by a rose in the 1960s. Not happy with being in a bed with Peonies pansies, rhododendrons and the like, this particular plant decided to set up a free love commune. Any bee... at any time...
BUZZ
NP: Oh Paul you challenged.
PM: Sadly hesitation.
NP: Sadly hesitation. So 43 seconds are available and you have flower power now starting.
PM: It was a term that was coined in San Francisco round about 1965 I think. We're probably familiar with the images of students placing flowers into the barrels of guns held by men who were guarding various bits of er...
BUZZ
NP: Sue?
PM: I realised I didn't know what I was talking about!
NP: Yes! Yes it was a definite er. So Sue you have the subject back, and you have your first point, and you have 32 seconds, flower power starting now.
SP: Stinking students would often lie naked in front of tanks, which at any point in time seems a ridiculous thing to do, as the tanks would inexorably move...
BUZZ
SP: Oh I am an idiot!
NP: No, it's just a very difficult game! And it's a natural way of speaking often. But Ross, you first, challenged first.
RN: Repetition of tanks.
NP: That's right, too many tanks, 25 seconds available, on flower power with you Ross starting now.
RN: Flower power is the new form of alternative energy which has just been created. You take a tiny pansy and put it in a harness, connected to a small generator. He starts moving along like that and as the petals brush against the electrical thing, you will find...
BUZZ
RN: Ahhhhhhhh!
NP: Graham?
GRAHAM NORTON: I don't know, no, I am a fool! Wrong! Wrong! Absolutely! Bad buzzer! Bad buzzer! No!
NP: No, I think you thought he was going to repeat the name of the equipment, didn't you.
GN: I don't know what I thought!
NP: Right, it was jolly nice to hear from you Graham, but unfortunately it was an incorrect challenge. And there are nine seconds for Ross on flower power starting now.
RN: The popular children's programme Power Rangers was in fact invented by Alan Titchmarsh. If you were to rip the helmet off the...
BUZZ
NP: Graham challenged.
GN: I sense hesitation there now.
NP: I think probably you're right.
GN: Oooh! Oooh!
RN: How dare you!
NP: In other words, in other words, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it's marginal.
GN: The benefit will come back to haunt me! (laughs)
NP: No, people have been bribing me on this series to get the benefit of the doubt.
GN: Okay, very good.
PM: Have they?
NP: Yes they have.
PM: Really?
NP: Well, when Clement...
PM: Bribing you with what, exactly?
NP: Oh well, I'm not going to tell you!
SP: How much does the benefit of the doubt cost these days?
NP: A date with you, Sue!
SP: Oh!
NP: Ah...
GN: You did ask!
SP: For viewers who like a visual picture, Sue is regurgitating her sandwiches!
NP: Right! So that's put you right off, has it?
SP: No! I've always been in love with you.
NP: Right, oh, how exciting!
GN: We leave this edition of Just A Minute now....
NP: And we come to Graham Norton with two seconds to go on flower power starting now.
GN: I've spent a lot of...
BUZZ
NP: Ross challenged.
RN: There's 20 quid for the benefit of the doubt!
GN: No, Nicholas!
PM: That's fair enough!
NP: Ross you can't double my fee like this! It's not fair! I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll buy you a drink afterwards. So Ross you challenged then to Graham, who was just trying to get into his stride in half a second, and er he thought it was hesitation, and it wasn't hesitation. So Graham you have another point.
GN: Good!
NP: And you have flower power...
GN: I'm liking where this is going!
NP: Yes with one and a half seconds to go starting now.
GN: Flowers power are...
WHISTLE
NP: I should have said before in case there is a possibility that somebody listening out somewhere who has never heard this show before. Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. I should have said it at the beginning because Paul was speaking at the end of the first round and got that point, and then Ross was. And on this occasion it was Graham Norton. He's now creeping up on the other two which is a rather sinister thing to do. And ah he's in third place, one behind Paul Merton, two behind Ross Noble. Sue Perkins is in fourth place. And Graham your turn to begin. The subject, oh, something close to the heart of anybody in show business, landladies. Tell us something about landladies in this game starting now.
GN: The landlady of my local hostelry is a spry little slightly hirsute woman, akin to a spider monkey! And yet at the end of the night she goes around collecting glasses, sometimes using her tail, how colourful! Her voice is still very deep as she cries "have you got no homes..."
BUZZ
NP: Paul you challenged.
PM: Repetition of she.
NP: Oh! Oh!
GROANS FROM THE AUDIENCE
PM: Are you not familiar with the game?
NP: You may not have won many friends with the challenge, but it was accurate. But he did say she more than three times actually. So on that basis, um you have a correct challenge Paul, and you have 42 seconds on landladies starting now.
PM: Theatrical landladies in the old history of show business, always were beautifully drawn characters. Because comedians would say to one another, ahhhh wah...
BUZZ
NP: Ross challenged.
RN: Ahhhh wah.
PM: I was thinking of our overseas listeners!
NP: Right!
PM: Why should we force English down their throats?
NP: So could you translate it for us, who are English.
PM: Yes, it meant bath mat! Inwatusi!
NP: So we interpret that as hesitation Ross. You have the subject, 33 seconds on landladies starting now.
RN: Landladies are a bit like land rovers, but they've just been invented to move across the countryside with four wheel drive traction, ah doing...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Hesitation.
NP: Yes there was a definite er there. So you're back in again on landladies.
RN: Just as well probably!
PM: Not as controversial a challenge as the last one but nevertheless!
BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE
NP: Oh! That audience reaction obviously hurt you Paul.
PM: Yes, deeply.
NP: Twenty, 25 seconds on landladies Paul starting now.
PM: One of the sights of Blackpool apart from the Illuminations is the redoubtable landladies that live in that area. They've been known throughout the centuries to provide sustenance to eager travellers who have come knocking on their door in the middle of the night. They slam on the windows...
BUZZ
NP: Ross challenged.
RN: They only serve breakfast between eight and 10!
PM: No! No!
NP: But Ross they can still, people can still knock on their door at midnight and say "have you got a room?"
PM: Yeah!
RN: They're not going to provide sustenance! They might give them a pillow!
NP: They, they, they might out of kindness...
PM: Sustenance isn't just breakfast!
NP: They might out of kindness.
PM: In fact...
GN: They leave you a little packet of two biscuits beside the kettle!
PM: Yeah! Yeah!
GN: And you could eat them!
PM: Yeah!
GN: Often shortbread!
SP: Always hermetically sealed shortbread at any time of day.
NP: Yes.
PM: Or the Gideon Bible, if you're desperate!
NP: That's hotels, not, landladies don't bother with Bibles. They're most worried about...
PM: Are you saying they're Satanists? This is going all over the world Nicholas!
NP: All I know from my experience...
PM: They'll all think landladies are all Satanists!
NP: All I know from my experience of theatrical landladies, their main concern is the lavatory. And they always say "don't forget", and tell you how to work the flush. And they always say "do be careful..."
PM: No, they look at you Nicholas, and they think "he doesn't know how to work a toilet!"
NP: There was one who said to me, she said (in Northern accent) "don't worry love, just go up there and surprise it, it works like a charm!"
SP: Was she Scandinavian?
NP: That is such a paltry sort of attempt at humour, really! I think we could expect better from you.
SP: What? Because, because I mocked your accent? What accent was it? I�m trying to work it out!
NP: (in Northern accent) You know what accent it was, it was a Northern accent. Probably Yorkshire, could have been a little bit of Lancashire thrown in.
SP: Hedging your bets!
GN: If you know, write in!
RN: Either way, I think you've secured yourself a guest spot on Last Of The Summer Wine!
NP: Oh yes!
PM: As a mystery object!
NP: So...
PM: Where is this man from?
NP: So we're going to have more revelations about the vulgarities that go on in landladies places from Paul Merton with nine seconds to go starting now.
PM: The worst landlady I ever met was called Mrs Roberts and what an absolute horror she was. I remember very clearly as if it was yes...
BUZZ
NP: Ross challenged.
RN: Repetition of remember.
NP: Yes you remembered the landlady...
PM: Did I?
NP: ... and you remembered very clearly.
PM: Oh okay.
NP: And Ross has got in cleverly with one second to go on landladies starting now.
RN: I once got a...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Hesitation.
NP: No! Another point to Ross. Half a second Paul, Ross, on, no...
RN: Paul Ross? Is Paul Ross playing Just A Minute?
GN: He's on the bench! He's been substituted now!
NP: He's the first reserve, he's come in! Right, half a second for you, Ross Noble, on landladies starting now.
RN: Paul Ross and I were once...
WHISTLE
NP: So Ross Noble then speaking as the whistle went gained that extra point, and the situation in that round is Sue Perkins is trailing a little, she's just behind Graham Norton. Graham's a few points behind Paul Merton, and Paul is two points behind our leader who is now Ross Noble. And Ross it's also your turn to begin and the subject is happy as Larry. Tell us something about that delightful subject in this game starting now.
RN: Happy as Larry was a term coined by Larry the Lamb during the 1964 mint sauce shortage. That's right, you could not get a jar of that garnish anywhere for love nor money. And that little creature was ever so...
BUZZ
NP: Sue challenged.
SP: Repetition of little.
NP: Yes, Larry the Lamb, little yes, little creature...
GN: Oh Sue, how could you?
SP: There was a mint shortage and everything!
NP: She did it because it's part of the rules of the game, and she's got in there with 45 seconds to tell us something about Larry the, sorry, Larry the Lamb! Tell us something about...
PM: Don't mix it up with Muffin the Mule! That's a criminal offence!
NP: It's actually as happy as Larry, is the subject and 45 seconds Sue starting now.
SP: As happy as Larry is a phrase that refers to Larry Symons who tragically as a child, fell, like Joker from Batman, into a vat of hydrochloric acid, thus giving him a beaming smile from one ear to another orifice. At this point he realised...
BUZZ
NP: Graham challenged.
GN: I don't think an ear is an orifice, is it?
NP: It is an orifice, yes.
GN: Is it?
NP: Any, any hole is an orifice.
GN: How disgusting!
RN: Oh you, you've changed!
LOUD LAUGHTER FROM NP AND THE AUDIENCE
PM: I'm, I'm very worried! I'm very worried about a smile that goes from an ear to an orifice!
SP: It's a very big grin!
PM: A big grin, that is a big grin!
SP: Yes it is.
NP: I'd point out...
PM: Is that a big grin, Nicholas?
NP: It's a...
PM: Wouldn't you say that was a big grin?
NP: Yes!
PM: Yeah it's a big grin!
NP: It's an impossible grin.
PM: Yeah.
NP: But if you're playing Just A Minute, it's a very clever way of describing it.
PM: Yeah.
NP: And I should point out to Graham, there's many orifices we have on our body and...
GN: Please don't point them out!
SP: No!
NP: I wouldn't bother because you've done it so frequently in your previous shows!
GN: Fair enough!
NP: So Sue an incorrect challenge, you still have as happy as Larry and you have 30 seconds starting now.
SP: This ridiculous gearn was with him from the moment he had this tragic accident, till the day he died...
BUZZ
NP: Ross challenged.
RN: Repetition of accident.
SP: I think you're possibly...
NP: Yes.
GN: Interesting, yeah! Mmmm! Yeah!
NP: So Ross, well listened, well listened, as happy as Larry is back with you, not, yes it is, it's your subject to start with, 23 seconds starting now.
RN: As happy as Larry was actually coined from an Australian boxer named Larry, who was repeatedly punched in the face, but never lost any teeth...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Repetition of punched.
NP: Yes, he was punched in the face and repeatedly punched.
RN: That was good!
NP: I know!
GN: I've suddenly realised I'm not listening at all! (laughs)
RN: The scary thing is I'm not, and I was saying!
NP: But what was interesting, there was an awed silence when you challenged. There's never been such silence on a challenge before.
PM: Yes it's something we've been striving for for years! A totally quiet audience!
NP: They were trying to work it out. Paul you have the subject and you have as happy as Larry, 18 seconds starting now.
PM: When Larry Parks, the actor, was given the role of playing Al Jolson in the film of that name, he was thrilled. This was a massive role for him and he was...
BUZZ
PM: Part, role!
NP: Graham challenged.
GN: Oh I thought role twice though.
NP: Yes there were two roles.
PM: Did I say role twice?
NP: Yes there were two roles.
GN: Yes yes yes yes.
NP: A massive role and he had this role. Eight seconds with you Graham on as happy as Larry starting now.
GN: For many years I've been as happy as Larry. Sadly, Larry is my suicidal neighbour who suffers from manic depression...
WHISTLE
NP: So Graham Norton was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so. And he�s still in third place, just ahead of Sue Perkins, but trailing Paul Merton and Ross Noble in that order. And Sue it's your turn to begin, magic, that is the subject. Work your magic on that subject, tell us something about it, 60 seconds starting now.
SP: Never confuse magic with miracles, as I learnt to my cost as a teenager when I accidentally sawed my best friend Sally in half. Bereft I waited for her to magically reappear into one whole human being, but sadly and tragically nothing to that end occurred. Same with the rabbit, it disappeared down the hat, I never saw it again. As for my guinea pig, it was nailed to a circle as I played the great flying daggers of death...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Were the authorities never called? You've sawn your best friend in half, you've started on your pets! What, what on earth's going on Nicholas?
NP: I don't know! Ah so Paul the audience enjoyed your interruption, give you a bonus point for that. Sue was interrupted, so she gets a point for that. She keeps the subject of magic and there are 38 seconds starting now.
SP: As the brutal bloody carnage progressed, I tried to hide my grandmother under one of three cups. Where is she? It's obvious to spot, because she's wearing the paper cup hat...
BUZZ
SP: That's cup twice!
NP: Paul challenged. Paul challenged.
PM: Ah cup.
NP: Cup yes. Twenty-eight seconds still available Paul, tell us something about magic starting now.
PM: It's one of those great Christmas presents you get when you're younger. And you think oh great, a compendium of magic games...
BUZZ
PM: Yeah. Sorry, excuse me, are you playing? Because you're not miced up at the moment. She's quite right, Nicholas!
NP: I know.
PM: She got it right then.
RN: Give her the benefit! Give her the benefit! Yeah.
NP: I should explain to our listeners because everybody here can see what's going on, that somebody in the audience, right at the front row, was pressing her thing like that, as if she was pressing her buzzer.
SP: Pressing her knee.
NP: And that was what, pressing her knee, and she's now in hysterics. So give a bonus point to that girl in the front row.
CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE
NP: That round of applause was because Ross offered her her buzzer, his buzzer! It's very easy...
PM: It makes a noise if you press the end of it!
NP: It's very easy to be put in a state of confusion with these four bright sparks around me. Right, where were we?
RN: Five, five bright sparks.
PM: Yeah.
NP: Who challenged? Sue you challenged.
SP: Repetition of great.
NP: That's right, um, 23 seconds on magic starting now.
SP: I'm used to seeing Paul Daniels in the Bunko Booth with a rather sinister adviser, akin to the type you get to see in Vegas where people are dealing decks of cards. There he sits with his shrivelled hands, staring down a woman's cleavage, saying "which one do you think it is, love?" And there he practices his sleight of hand over the clubs and spades and...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Did we have hand before?
NP: Yes, sleight of hand, but that was hand and hands now.
PM: Oh right. Sorry I thought I was talking to the chairman. So what were you saying over there? You've, you've, you're losing authority here Nicholas!
NP: No I think they're all joining in. which is tremendous fun. But I can't give any points for a correct challenge.
PM: This is Row C welcoming you to Just A Minute!
LAUGHTER FROM GN, NP AND THE AUDIENCE
NP: Right and there are seven seconds still with you Sue on magic starting now.
SP: The Indian rope trip is one of my favourites...
BUZZ
NP: Graham challenged.
GN: The Indian rope trip?
NP: Yes.
PM: That is, that is a particular trip.
GN: Is it a trip? Is it a magic trip?
PM: Yep! You trip over the Indian rope.
NP: So your challenge within the rules of Just A Minute?
GN: Hesitation after trip. Or trip, or repetition of Indian! I don't know!
NP: Benefit of the doubt to you Graham, four seconds on magic starting now.
GN: Siegfried and Roy are two of my favourite magicians in the whole...
WHISTLE
NP: So Graham Norton speaking as the whistle went gained that extra point. An interesting situation as we move into the final round.
SHOUTS OF "OOOHH" FROM THE AUDIENCE
NP: I think it was worth more than that!
RN: Did it, did a Chinese magician just walk in then?
NP: I thought you were enjoying it.
SP: Did the Indian rope trip kick in?
PM: I don't think you should say what the interesting situation is, we'll just leave it at that!
NP: It's a very interesting situation...
PM: Is it?
NP: No, no because people do get involved in the points situation so I'll have to give it to them.
PM: Yeah.
NP: Because in third place, equal, are Sue Perkins and Graham Norton. And Sue has leapt, she's leapt from nowhere to be equal with Graham. And just ahead of them are Ross Noble, who is only one point behind our leader which is Paul, which is, who is Paul Merton. And Graham you begin the final round.
GN: Do I?
NP: Yes you do. And the subject, well it's your turn actually. And the subject is Saturday...
GN: Is that why I'm starting?
NP: That is why you're starting.
GN: Okay.
NP: There's a certain logic to the way we run the show.
GN: Mmmmm!
NP: Ah it's rather good this, because it's something you, you've been associated with, Saturday nights.
GN: Ah!
NP: Ah yes, so Saturday nights, Graham, 60 seconds starting now.
GN: Saturday night's all right for fighting. And vomiting and wearing no tights outside night-clubs. That seems to be the great British tradition of Saturday nights. Saturday nights, I'll say it again because I can. Saturday nights are wonderful...
BUZZ
NP: Sue challenged.
SP: Hesitation.
NP: No!
GN: After Saturday nights? No there wasn't!
NP: No, no, no.
GN: No!
SP: Sorry I'm still on my Indian rope trip! So...
NP: He was going in true sort of Graham Norton style and he's still got 45 seconds on Saturday nights starting now.
GN: Saturday nights give people a lot of pressure I feel. Because it's the one night of the week when you're supposed to have a good time. It's too much for people. Have I said people before?
BUZZ
NP: Yes, and Sue spotted it first.
SP: Has he said people before?
NP: He has said people before. Sue you've got a correct challenge and you've got 33 seconds on Saturday nights starting now.
SP: I like to spend Saturday nights listening to Graham Norton saying the word Saturday nights again and over and repetitiously, and to the point where I no longer know what I'm saying. Help me!
BUZZ
NP: Ross challenged.
RN: I buzzed after she said "help me"!
SP: It was a cry for help. You were right Ross.
NP: It was a cry for help, but she didn't actually say "help me".
RN: She did.
NP: No she didn't.
SHOUTS OF "SHE DID" FROM THE AUDIENCE
NP: Thank you very much, yes she did!
SP: But I wasn't in my right mind then.
NP: I know. But ah it doesn't matter whether your mind goes in this...
PM: Well! No need to finish that sentence!
NP: I know! As I frequently try to demonstrate! Right so she did say "help me", you're quite right Ross. You have the subject and you have 24 seconds on Saturday nights starting now.
RN: The Saturday knights were the direct competition to the Knights of the Round Table. They were very very different, they would put on...
BUZZ
NP: Paul challenged.
PM: Repetition of very, very very.
NP: Yes there was two verys there. Paul you've got in with another point, you've got a point for coming in there, 18 seconds, Saturday nights starting now.
PM: Saturday night television when I was growing up was particularly special. We all remember things like The Generation Game With Bruce Forsyth, followed by The Two Ronnies, and then who can forget shows like Parkinson or Match Of The Day. That was what it was all about on a Saturday night. You could...
BUZZ
PM: Who's challenged?
NP: Ross has challenged. Why have you challenged Ross?
RN: Repetition of night.
NP: Oh yes because the subject on the card...
GN: Oh I'm agog!
PM: Saturday nights! Is it?
NP: Yes. Saturday nights is the subject and you said night.
PM: Oh okay!
NP: More than once.
PM: Sure fine.
NP: So Ross was listening well.
PM: Yes.
NP: And he's cleverly got in with two seconds to go on Saturday nights starting now.
RN: I used to love The Generation...
WHISTLE
PM: Using my material!
NP: So Ross Noble was then speaking as the whistle went, and gained that extra point. I'll give you the final situation, it's a very fair one actually. Ah in second place equal were Sue Perkins and Graham Norton. And they gave huge value, but they didn't get quite as many points as the other two. And they were equal in first place, equal on 17 points, Ross Noble and Paul Merton! Our winners!
GN: Ohhhhhh!
NP: So it only remains for me to say thank you to these four outstanding players of the game, Paul Merton, Graham Norton, Ross Noble and Sue Perkins. And I thank Janet Staplehurst, who has helped me with the score, and blown her whistle with such elegance when the 60 seconds was up. We thank our producer who is Claire Jones. We are indebted to Ian Messiter who thought of this wonderful game. And also we are grateful to this lovely audience here in the Mermaid Theatre at Puddledock who have cheered us on our way magnificently. From our audience, from me Nicholas Parsons, from our team, thank you, good-bye, tune in the next time we play Just A Minute!
THEME MUSIC