Author: Daydreamer
Posted: 2 September 2004

Time

"Hey, Hutch, you know how weird time is?"

Hutch frowned and risked a glance at his friend, then yanked his eyes back to the road as the car in front of him slammed to a halt at a stop sign. He shook his head. "No, Starsk, how weird is time?" He was geared up for yet one more long, strange talk.

"Well, think about it this way. Time -- it's weird. Strange. As just a thought, it seems fine. It seems more than fine -- it seems great. But in fact, it's not fine at all. It won't just pass in the same way all the time. It shifts, it sneaks; it's like it has a mind of its own."

Hutch shook his head once more. "Not with you at all," he said, foot on the gas as he made a smooth right turn. "I think I'm lost."

Starsky looked up, checked on where they were and then shook his head. "Nah -- you're fine. We're just a few of blocks up from Dart's."

Hutch blew out a snort then gave a laugh. "Not lost like that -- lost on this great thought of weird time you want to share with me."

"Don't want to share time with you." Starsky paused then said, "Not what I meant. I like time with you, just not what I meant right now. You know?"

Hutch laughed and tapped Starsky on the back of his head. "Nut." He slowed for a red light then picked up speed once more as the light changed. "Tell me, Lucy," he said. " 'Splain it to me."

It was Starsky who laughed this time, then he gave a nod and spoke. "Well, think of it like this. If you had to spell it out to a guy -- time, that is -- it’s not so hard. You just sit him down, give him a drink or a snack, and then show him time."

Hutch frowned. "Show him time? How do you do that?"

"Well, you could say, 'From the time I clap my hands once 'til I clap my hands twice, that will be time.'"

Hutch gave one more snort, then looked up as the pub called 'Dart's' could be seen on his left. He scanned the block for a place to park.

"Then you could show him a watch, show how the hands move and how we count time. You could talk about hours and weeks and months and years, and just like that, he'd get it.

Hutch stopped as a small red V dub bug pulled out of a space, then tried to squeeze his brown bomb into the slot. "And that would make it clear?" he asked.

"Sure," Starsky said. "That's clear. Small kids do it all the time. Get it? All the time?" He let Hutch give a small laugh, then went on. "But that's just how you count time. That's not how time works. How it works is a whole new thing."

Hutch backed up, turned the wheel, pulled up, turned the wheel, and backed once more. He then did it all one more time and at last had the car tucked into the small space.

"So how is how time works so weird?" Hutch asked as he turned off the car and pulled the key from its slot.

"It just is. It's weird. It speeds up; it slows down. Good stuff ends way too fast but when it's bad, it's like time drags on and on and on. And when you’re bored? Time just seems to stop." Starsky frowned and stared at the store on his right.

Hutch cocked his head as he looked at Starsky. "I know what you mean there."

"See," Starsky went on, "if you were on a beach and it was just you and a choice girl who had on two shells and a small fig leaf, that week would pass damn quick."

Hutch gave a nod. "I can see that."

"If you had lots of oil on your skin and that fine girl spent most of the time with her hands on you, and she said things like, 'I wish my friend Sue could join us,' well, that week would just fly by."

Hutch grinned.

"Now -- same beach, but this time you're with a fat, bald used car sales guy who needs to make up for his small dick. He gives you a blow by blow -- ha, ha, no pun -- of all the deals he's worked up, how big his bank book is, and how fine, young, and blonde his new wife is. Well, that week will take two or three years to pass. Even more if the fat, bald guy says things like, 'I mean big, my friend, huge sales,' and he's so damn loud that that fine new wife who's miles and miles and miles from the beach looks up and says, 'where the hell is that loud son of a bitch now?'" Starsky stared out the glass then looked at Hutch when he saw they were parked. He looked up at Dart's, smiled when he saw their snitch out front and got out of the car. He moved to join Hutch and they crossed the street. "That would be one long week," he said. "One long week."

They reached the walk in front of Dart's. Hutch stopped and stared at him. "Starsky, time's not weird. You are weird."

Starsky just looked back at him then shook his head. "Nah, man, not this time. Get it? Time?" Hutch groaned at him and he smiled. "Give it some thought, Hutch. Time. Time's just -- weird; you know what I mean?"

Hutch looked at his watch as one hand raced 'round the face then looked up. "I think I see just what you mean," he said at last.

"You do?" Starsky asked, a smile on his face.

"Oh, yeah," Hutch said. "You know that week on the beach with the fat, bald used car sales guy?"

Starsky gave a nod then paused for Hutch to speak.

"Well, this whole talk makes that week look like the blink of an eye!"