Let me start by saying that my account of the party is just one persons story among 50 other people, my story does by no means reflect everyones experience of this party, however, from talking to people, there is a common theme to everyones story the party was the best there has been for a while.
Another common theme in everyones story is alcohol, never have I been to a party when on entry you are given a free drink (Of whatever choice you want) and are shown a list of alcoholic beverages that are available on your next visit, all at the very reasonable price of 1. It didnt take me, or my companion Ben, long to realise the bartenders didnt quite realise what a shot measure was, so we began to set-up the machine-gun with Bacardi and apple juice. After moving from the machine-gun to manlier forms of beverage (cue Ben going up to the bar saying 2 wife-beaters for me and my mate please) my memory of the evening began to get fuzzier.
The DJ, who had previously been playing Girls Aloud, Brittney Spears and Daniel Beddingfield, suddenly flipped on some Ibiza classics and the next thing I knew I was in a line with Ben, Mike and NJ doing the robot in the middle of the floor. After some poor attempts on my part to start a rave (Which included trying to stand up on a table and doing Big Fish, Small Fish, Cardboard Box) I had a bit of a sit-down with Emily Carson trying to interview her on her experiences with Michael Mandryk which had occurred in Martin Jones car the previous Tuesday. After getting an unacceptable excuse for her actions, I went to the toilet to relieve myself only to find Ben Ross had thrown up in the sink. Shocked to find my friend had lost his alcohol in his puke, we quickly went to set-up another machine-gun. After another round of Wife-beaters and Strawpedoes (Cheers to Martin Jones for offering me that drink) we again headed to the dance floor now both off our heads, and with Out of Touch by Uniting Nations playing, we entered a little circle comprising of Helen Mavin, Laura Bromiley, Laura Gosset, Tess Walker, Liz McDonaugh and Jenny Beasely who were dancing to the music a bit to seriously, so I ruined it all by getting my robot on in the middle of the circle. After more raving attempts and more trips to the bar for Strawpedoes, I found myself sitting outside enjoying the company of friends for the remaining hour of the party. This is where my memory gets a bit strange, I remember being attacked by Daisy for an undisclosable reason (Scratches are still visible on my face) and then passing out in a bush. On waking up at an unknown time later, I began to say my goodbyes and made my way home with Laura Gosset and Helen Mavin (This would have also included Tess Walker and her very friendly boyfriend Simon had Tess not been completely retarded and lost her bus pass). After a very uneventful 93 bus journey home, I began a night of toilet visits to vomit.
My story was probably the least eventful of the party, if you want gossip, ask NJ how his 3-way pull with Gen and Emily Carson was compared to his 3-way pull with Teresa and Gen. Ask Emily Best why there are photos of her pulling 6 guys that night (including myself). Ask Daisy why she attacked me. Ask Emily Best how she got in through her kitchen window. Ask Alan Onslow how good my rendition of Punjabi MC was to him. Ask Chris Manville why he tried to rape Emily Best.
There were hundreds of stories at that party, and unfortunately I dont know them all, e-mail me or add me on MSN (pp_barrett@hotmail.co.uk) and tell me what you lot saw and heard and Ill get Ben to add it to DDC
Conclusion, the party was great, so well done to Charlotte for all the good planning that went into the party. The first 18th of the CCF Calendar is over, bring on Helens next week.
PP Barrett
Any photoss are here and are courtesy of Emily Bests MSN Space visit http://spaces.msn.com/members/little-em/PersonalSpace.aspx?_c=&_c02_owner=1
for more pictures of the night including evidence of Emily Bests crusade for Woman Points.
Sorry Jack....
The Contenders
Nim Joe Man 3/1
Ezes wannabe leader in Year9, but since then has seemingly fallen out of favour.
Odd fact: Like all Chinese people, he can secretly fly.
Strengths: Ethnic minority, physically strong.
Weaknesses: Unpopular with officers due to long term heterosexual relationship in CCF.
Mike Mandryk 2/5 F
A self-proclaimed fuckin hard man who wants discipline and lots of it. Favourite to win.
Odd fact: Listens to the hippity-hop sounds of da ghetto at irritatingly loud levels.
Strengths: Physically tough and likes to shout: a lot.
Weaknesses: Often perceived as a brutal Vinnie Jones-type character by younger cadets.
Helen Mavin 5/1
The tall, boisterous girl who has a thing about doing drill (she loves it).
Odd fact: Neel Patel called her the best arse in CCF Pennines 2004
Strengths: Mr Hobbs loves her.
Weaknesses: Anything physical.
Charlotte Bloxham 6/1
The fairly quiet blonde who has more brains than meets the stereotype.
Odd fact: Something about a partyin fact, a whole string of them.
Strengths: The previous advantage of boyfriend Rickys patronage.
Weaknesses: The physical (its a girl thing).
The Rivalries
Mandryk vs. Man
Long assumed to be the main rivalry for the past year, Mandryk has surfaced as the clear favourite to win.
Conflict is unlikely with both confident in the others abilities.
Mavin vs. Bloxham
Unlikely to become Head of Army, expect a cold war raging over Head of Girls and the S/Cpl position that goes with it.
The RAF
This arrived via text message to Mr.Marshall last Thursday...
"Can i be head of RAF pretty please, yours, future Warrent Officer Pierpaolo Barrett"
Nothing else to report on that subject.