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Terminator 3:
Rise of the Machines

Dir. Jonathan Mostow
I went in to T3 expecting it to be crap. I mean, come on, (1) what could they possibly do that they hadn't already done? I was sad to see the Terminator series going down the same path as the Nightmare On Elm St and Friday the 13th movies. Plus, they had (2) definitively finished the story in T2, (3) James Cameron isn't directing, (4) Linda Hamilton isn't in it, (5) the main villain is called a "Terminatrix" which gives it that classy porno sound, and (6) Arnie is too damn old to be playing a machine. T3 overcomes all my problems, and is now my favorite movie of the year (at least until Matrix and Lord of the Rings come out. Then it'll be a major movie showdown. I can hardly wait.) (1) Instead of having a direct competition with its predecessors, it went down a different road. They made it funny. That's right, it's a funny Terminator movie. I don't mean it's a knee slapper, to be found in the comedy section of the video store. Nor do I mean it doesn't have action, or sad parts. What it does have is many, many Terminator in-jokes. It's a movie for fans of the first two. I don't mean someone who thought the first ones were okay, but actual fans of the first two.

You have to be in the know to understand why some of these lines are funny. For example at one point a woman picks up a machinegun and blasts the bejezus out of a machine. John Connor just looks at her, then says "You remind me of my mother." If you don't get why that's funny don't see the movie: it'll be a waste of your time and money. Even some of the action scenes have funny parts in them. Oh, and one of the chase scenes is the most destructively impressive I've ever seen. (2) The show answers how there can be more to the story, and at the same time explains how the machines in the future are superior now, with more impressive Terminators and cooler time travel pods. They don't spell it out, but you can put two and two together yourself. Extra points for not treating the audience as if we have no higher brain functions. (3) It turns out Jonathan Mostow is just as good at this directing stuff as James Cameron, and is obviously a fan of the series. (4) Linda Hamilton isn't in it, but they do talk about Sarah Connor quite a bit, so her influence is still there, and you understand why Sarah isn't in the thick of things this time. (5) It turns out the main villain is not called a Terminatrix, except by a human once in passing. Her true designation is a T-X, and sure enough, she's an upgrade on the T-1000 of T2. (6) The only thing they really couldn't do anything about was Arnie's age. He's a little saggier than he used to be, but he's still got a better body than anyone you actually know. It just kind of gets forgotten about in the action of the movie. All right, there is one scene where I thought to myself "Dude, you're like Patrick Stewart old." Other than that, it's just not an issue. This is a great, wonderful addition to the Terminator series. In fact, I like it better than T2, by just a little.

This time the future machines can't find John Connor, so they go after the people who will become his lieutenants. When the T-X comes across Connor, her mission changes, but runs up against the T-101 when she goes after Connor and the woman destined to be his second in command, Kate Brewster. It's future Kate who has sent the T-101 back this time, and the T-101's mission is to ensure the survival of both John and Kate. This Terminator is a combination of the liquid metal we saw in the T-1000, covering a hearty metal chassis, like the T-101. It makes for an impressive combination. The actress who plays the T-X does a really nice job of keeping her face impassive, no matter what is happening to her. Once again, John takes on the task of stopping the machines before they can take over, thus short-circuiting the war. He uses the T-101 and drags Kate into the fray. As a nice little extra, they have Nick Stahl playing John. Nick Stahl looks a lot like Michael Biehn did when he played Kyle Reese in the first Terminator. In other words, John looks like his daddy. It's the cherry on the cake.

T3 deals with the potential problems, has great characters I care about, and has an unexpected ending. I love this movie. I've seen it three times so far, and if any of you want to see it, give me a call. I'd love to see it again.

I rate it: Full Price

Arnold Schwarzeneggar as the Terminator
Nick Stahl as John Connor
Claire Danes as Kate Brewster
Kristanna Loken as the T-X
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