Discworld Quotes

PORN STAR PUNCTUATION

Maelin wisps: Why do porn stories always have terrible punctuation>
EmRyS wisps: what!!!!!!!!!!
Cthulhu wisps: Because if they stop speaking, you have a full stop!
Ptaimen wisps: That's not punctuation marks, that's intonation.
Stith wisps: huh?!
Cthulhu wisps: Because they are second rate authors Maelin? :P
Maelin wisps: They are TERRIBLE authors.
Maelin wisps: There was one that I saw that was about four pages into it before I found a single comma.
SCribbler wisps: coz the people readin gthem aren't gonna care, maelin
EmRyS wisps: what do you expect maein
Maelin wisps: I care.
Nirces wisps: remeber tekwars?
Karona wisps: Porn writers are more interested in getting to the 'meat' of the story, than in proper grammer and syntax.
Maelin wisps: Yeah but these people must be about age 8.
Cthulhu wisps: Fap Fap Fap?
Maelin wisps: And that's too young to be writing porn.
SCribbler wisps: did you learn that language when YOU were 8 maelin?
Maelin wisps: Nuh.
Maelin wisps: When I was eight I was the embodiment of sweetness and light.
Ptaimen wisps: You still are, Maelin.
Llearch wisps: Sometimes, Stith...
Maelin wisps: Awww, shucks.
Stith wisps: dont say it
SCribbler wisps: hahahaha. Mummy what does &*&^ing !@#$ licker mean?
Chimara wisps: It means andstaranduping explinationmarkatnumberdollar
Maelin wisps: Isn't ^ "to the power of", Chimara?
SCribbler wisps: explination mark?? nice one
Ptaimen wisps: It's a circumflex!
SCribbler wisps: exclamation mark
Ptaimen wisps: Or a caret.
Chimara wisps: Yes maelin, i couldn't be bothered to type that
Hagi wisps: Or a chevron
TGGM wisps: That's what it does, Maelin, but it's called a caret.
Chimara wisps: Or there of course is another meaning. :P
Chimara wisps: Please ignore this if you weren't wearing underpants. It didn't happen.
Chimara wisps: Did i kill the convo?
Karona wisps: Just mortally wounded it I think.
SCribbler wisps: no, everyone's still trying to work out what that all meant
Stith wisps: thats my job.
Chimara wisps that he chuckles at Scribbler


CURRENCY OF SWEDEN

Mental wisps: oh great, I wanna book a room on the website and they ask me to pay in 'sek'? You are bloody sweden, dont you have eruos??
Mental wisps: WTF is a sek? They pay in evil deities in Sweden?
Mono wisps: PS 1 euro is approx 9 SEK
Hikarr wisps: No, Sweden doesn't have euros. Only SEK (Svenska EnKronor)
Mental wisps: hello swedish people, can I have some info on seks from you?
Ranneko wisps: So Sek isnt that valuable, what are evil deities coming to these days?
Polleke wisps: didn't you learn about that in high school mental ?
Mental wisps: So in Sweden I will have to pay in seks? This is getting bizarre
Mental wisps: works better in dutch, actually, for we use ks for x
Hikarr wisps: No, with SEK. There's no s plural.
Mono wisps: Yeah. Why do you think sweden has the reputation it has
Polleke wisps: mental, I very much doubt anyone would take that from you as valid currency :P
SCribbler wisps: sweden has a reputation?
Hikarr wisps: You just have to make sure he'll let you pay with him =)
Mono wisps: Yeah, of having lots of SEKs on the beaches & such.
Ptaimen wisps: People living in Baltic states scare their childen to sleep with tales of the Swedish coming to eat them.
Mental wisps: "Alas, i do not have enough seks to buy drinks."
Mono wisps that he grins
Mental wisps: you mean the part where it says: 'apart from Mental, who can pay in euros'?
SCribbler wisps: I offered to pay the lady but she said 'no i cannot accept seks from you, you keep it'
Mental wisps: no offense, but Swedish people are mad and overly horny
Hikarr wisps that he gibbers madly.
Mono wisps: And then yuo have the part where you have to exchange the seks you haven't used to euros...
Mental wisps: I wanna trade these euros for seks!
Auron wisps: i want seks
Mental wisps: can you please give me seks for these euros?
Auron wisps: seks are good
Hikarr wisps: No, we won't be using euros. We're happy with seks, thank you very much =)
Mental wisps: I have loads of euros, i hope you have enough seks to exchange it for
Auron wisps: so seks will be the Universal currency then?
Mental wisps: hrm, i detect a slight repetitive innuendo here
Mono wisps: There are plenty of seks in sweden
Polleke wisps: in a perfect world : yes
Bellatos wisps: you detect lameness?
Auron wisps: what? innuendo? i think you mean seks there, old chap
Mental wisps: lameness?? How can it be lame if it involves seks?
Mental wisps: it's a great currency!
Bellatos wisps: i think you answered your own question
Mental wisps: How am I ever supposed to spend a whole weekend in this depraved country, for crying out softly?
Hikarr wisps: Make sure you have enough seks?
Polleke wisps: behave like Austin Powers ?
Auron wisps: come to my country and work the street for seks in my country
Mental wisps: well, i booked the flight at least, Gothenburg here I come
Hikarr wisps that he comforts Mental.
Hikarr wisps: Nice knowing you.
SCribbler wisps: oh well, I guess the good thing about the currency of Sweden makes that awkward time in every parents life easier. When your child comes up and asks 'mummy, daddy, what's seks??'....
Mono wisps: hur hur hur
Auron wisps: mum, can i have some seks?
Hikarr wisps: Well, the problem is they'd ask "Vad är en krona"..
Mental wisps: you'd think they'd have legalised prostitution there by now
Mental wisps: '-where do babies come from? -you get them if you have seks without protection. ' That could severely traumatise a kid; wearing gloves to the supermarket cash register and such
Ptaimen wisps: They grow.
Ptaimen wisps: From eggs.
Ptaimen wisps: So you go the grocer and ask him for the baby eggs.
SCribbler wisps: well when a man and a woman love each other, they often have seks... sounds innocent enough to me
Mental wisps: we used to be gagged for this, but now I have found da legal way!
Ptaimen wisps: Of course they pay the grocer with seks. You can't get a baby egg without seks!

( a bit of background info: at the top, when they say 'they pay in evil dieties', sek is an evil god in the discworld game, you can worship him and he gives you powers, but he is v. v. evil, apparently)


RANDOM

SCribbler wisps: gah!! the paranoia is setting in
TGGM wisps: Paranoia has been on for 32 minutes and 23 seconds, SCribbler. ;-)

Tubby wisps that he sprinkles some baby-powder on his hand and delivers one hell of a PIMP SLAP to Volcom..
Tubby wisps: I, Tubby, Laugh at you, VOLCOM

(Volcom is a v. mouthy 14yo who constantly wastes time spamming channels)

RADIOHEAD

SCribbler wisps: the best thing for depression is Radiohead: The Pyramid Song
Agari wisps: hehe....music to slit your wrists to
Gin wisps: The best thing to cause depression surely?
Whippet wisps: helping, or causing?
Bluemoss wisps: Thats like saying the best thing for a hedache is a knock on the head with a hammer..
Insanity wisps: Good old Radiohead. Music to shoot yourself in the face to.
SCribbler wisps that he croons and bashes head on piano
Anton wisps: After you have a large lump on your head, your headache feels insignificant =-)