Envy Contempt Stupidity Twerps Imbeciles Respect Sadly this ignorant attitude only serves to confirm that the reasons most people support Man U are based purely on their success. Come back and talk to me if you're still a Man U fan after even five years of winning fuck all. THEN I'll be happy to give you the respect that you don't deserve now. Love Ignorance Form Skinful Pathetic Profound
People often ask why I've got such a downer on Man U. Predictably they accuse me of jealousy and envy, but they're completely missing the point. I've supported Chelsea since I was a kid, to the exclusion of all others. All I've ever cared about in football is Chelsea. I don't care how the other teams are doing, over and above rejoicing when we beat them, so jealousy and envy of Man U or any other club just doesn't come into it.
It's contempt for the notion that somebody would follow a team purely because they're successful that motivates me. The people who flame me don't understand that, because they don't understand what it is to be a lover of the game of football. They're lovers of glory, which is a different thing altogether.
That's the real reason I've so little time for Man U's band of mercenary glory-hunters. Let me reiterate that I don't have a problem with Man U as a football outfit; that would be churlish and stupid, because they're clearly head and shoulders above anything else in this country. I've got nothing against their genuine supporters either.
It's you sad little twerps who decide Man U are a good bet, buy a football top with "Feckham" on the back, and suddenly you've been a lifelong fan who get to me. Of course it's not only Man U; Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea and others are also blighted by this phenomenon, but it's the less glamourous clubs in the lower divisions who are the victims. They're increasingly hitting hard times, and it's mainly because their entire potential fanbase are out buying Man U tops instead of supporting their local club. I'm speaking the truth.
Most of the hate mail I get concerns itself with how much "better" Man U is than Chelsea, citing the championship wins and cup successes that Man U have achieved in the last ten years. These imbeciles think they can get to me by pointing out that Chelsea have only won the championship once, over forty years ago. Wake up and smell the catfood, knobheads: if that had been a criteria in deciding which team to support I'd be standing alongside you now in a London pub, wearing one of my many Man U shirts, banging on about how brilliant "we" were on Saturday.
I never hear anything about how many times these people have stood in the pouring rain on a crumbling terrace in some God-forsaken hole watching the team they love get a hammering, and have still cheerfully gone back again the next week. I've had countless flames on the lines of "How dare you slag off the greatest team that has ever been ? What has your shit team ever done ?"
I couldn't care less how many times my team have won things, any more than I do about Man U's successes. That's not my idea of what following a club is about, and neither is it the idea of most the other football fans who visit this site, thank God. The point is that we're there because we love the club regardless of the success they've achieved. When we do share some success it's a bonus, not a reason to support the club.
There's far more to being a football fan than counting material success or using statistics as a bludgeon to knock down dissenters. People are constantly surprised when I reveal my lack of knowledge of the statistics of my own club; they can't believe the owner of a football site could be so ignorant about the club he supports. Half the time I don't even know who's our top scorer; I don't care. I can't even tell you what formation the team played last week; by definition a formation is only a formation while all the players are standing still in their positions.
Once the game gets going I'm hard pushed to see any sort of form in what's going on at all. Who gives a shit what the formation is as long as we're running rings around the other team ? The same goes for tactics. I know nothing of such things. That's what the coaches are paid to sort out. The only time tactics comes into it for me is when I shout "Who the fuck's marking so-and-so ?", "You're bunching, you're bunching !", "Give it to Le Saux, he wants it !", or the classic "Switch it !"
All I want from football is to go down to the Bridge with a few mates on a Saturday or a Wednesday and shout myself hoarse supporting them. Football remains a primitive, visceral experience for me, although it doesn't stop me from recognising and appreciating good football when I see it. When Chelsea win I go out and have a skinful to celebrate with my mates and I'm deliriously happy for a few hours. When they lose I go out and have a skinful with my mates to drown the pain, then go home and sulk (sorry, Jennie !). That's all there is to it. I know from the feedback I get from fans that I'm not alone in this.
I recognise that Chelsea have had their problems with glory-hunters recently; regular visitors to the site (hello!) will know that I've continually complained about it, but it's as nothing compared to the cross United have to bear. It really is pathetic how these diehard fans suddenly melt into a puddle as soon as the going gets a bit too tough for them, and that's usually when United let in a goal. Even Lord Fergie has seen fit to complain about the atmosphere at Old Trafford, for Christ's sake !
I'll leave you with this thought: it'll really mean something to me and fellow Chelsea fans when we win the championship. I've learned the hard way that the understanding and appreciation of life's highs is infinitely more profound when you have the yardstick of having experienced the lows to judge by. How many Man U fans can say the same ?
