ILAM's taglines collection

My taglines collection

(the collection is mine, not all the taglines)


Tag line thievery ... On the next Geraldo!

ebius tagline. This is a moebius tagline. This is a mo ...

"Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again." - L. Long

Not tonight, dear. I have a modem.

"42? 7 and a half million years and all you can come up with is 42?!"

Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.

DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...

If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

MONEY TALKS ... but all mine ever says is GOODBYE!

"I said it once and I'll say it again: Democracy doesn't work!"

bein' an idiot is no box of chocolates.

"aren't those the guys that come with a gun and shoot everybody?" "sometimes"

glory reds glory reds glory reds glory reds glory reds glory reds

"dad, you killed the zombie flenderz" "he was a zombie?!"

NO, you can't call 911 now -- I'm DOWNLOADING !

Amar Nayim from the half-way line!

gr8! only 3gb ram more and i can run os2!!!

Sorry! This is a hardware store.

If your wife wants to drive, don't stand in her way !

I can fly ! I can fly ! I can... oh#!@$$#

Files not found: Delete user instead? (Y/y)?

Math problems? Call 1-800-10*(24+13)-(64-16)/2^14E2.

If it was easy, it wouldn't be any fun.

(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza

Always choose the path of good, the highway of evil is jammed.

"They say money can't buy happiness? Give me 50 bucks and watch me smile"

"Operator - give me the number of 911 !"

"Kids, you've tried your best - and failed. The lesson is: Never try!"

If the right one won't get you, then the left one will.

Diffrenet shirt - BOO!!!!

When my time comes, I'd like to die like my grandfather - peacefull in my sleep, and not terrified like his passengers.

Your momma is so weired - when she walks in the forest bigfoot takes pictures of her!

Your father is so old - when he was born the dead sea was only sick!

"No one laughes at Vince McMoron except for me"

1+1=3 for large values of 1

If something is too hard to do, it's not worth doing it

"You don't have to yell at me! I'm not blind!"

"The two things that scare me most about wrestling fans is that they're allowed to vote and allowed to reproduce"

"I've fired Steiner"

A friend in need is a pest

"You know, that show of sportsmanship....the respect for each other, the enthusiasm they have....makes me sick!"

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!!

When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can even think at all.

"What do you give a guy who has everything? a box to put it in" (James E. Cornette)

This message is constructed using re-cycled electrons.

"Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodinamics!"

Who is general failure, and why the hell is he reading my disk?

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

"Hang the D.J.!" (a fraustrated Maccabi Tel-Aviv fan)

Fighting for peace.... is like fucking for virginity

Life with no f is a lie

"Come on you reds, come on you reds, let's do the double and be the best" (Eric Cantona. the greatest French poet of modern times)

We are men of SOFTWARE. HARDWARE do not become us!

You keep on using that word.... I do not think it means what you think it means

The two things I hate most are racism and negroes

"Anything you can do - I can do later" (Bibi to the labor party)

"This phone keeps on ringing" "No problem, I'm at Goldberg's office"

"The president of the united states! Big deal!" "-Bil"

1966 was a good year for English football - Cantona was born

"ilam?" "this is my name, ask me again and I'll tell you the same"

Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your children

"No less than 6%, and more than 9!" (David Levi, when asked how well will he do in the elections).

Sex is like a gun - you aim, you shoot, you run!

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: "Of all the radio stations in Chicago ... we're one of them."

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? (Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate)

668: The Neighbour of the Beast

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 
2. Advising the President.
3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.

"Time's fun when you're having flies." (Kermit the Frog)

"The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli." --George, "Seinfeld"

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

If only G-d would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

"To YOU I'm an atheist; to G-d, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can't understand

"It's not a lie, if you believe." --George, "Seinfeld"

The mighty oak was once a small nut that held its ground

If the Bibi wasn't our prime minister, it might have been funny

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. . . .

3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

I used up all my sick days so I'm calling in dead.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished!

Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

Dain bramaged.

Department of Redundancy Department

Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

My software never has bugs; it just develops random features.

Backups? We don' need no steenking backups.

24 hours in a day . . . . 24 beers in a case . . . . coincidence?

All computers wait at the same speed.

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Hello, my name is Annie Key. Please don't hit me

B.B. B.S. O.T. :(

#include "shastdio.h"

"You kept making all the stops?" - "People kept ringing the bell"

"This is what the holidays are all about - a bunch of friends sitting together and chewing gum"

Who cares what psychiatrists write on walls?

It is better to live a hundred years as a sheep then one day as a lion

Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing

You can't get hamburger from salisbury steak

Never underestimate the Germans

Don't leave a turkey in a hallway in New-York city

.... and g-d said: I'll have a vowel

She even got the same haircut as Hillary (Hayde Sarah)

Whose stupid idea was to open a McDonalds in the Orient House?

In America everybody can be president. In Israel, a nobody was elected as prime minister

aibohpphobia: the fear of pelindromes

"Do you ever get down on your knees and thank g-d that you know me and have access to my brain?"

90% of the time I'm right, so why worry about the other 3%?

G-d is REAL, Unless declared as an INTEGER...

"Gotta love the Drake!"

Every ten seconds a woman gives birth. We must find her and stop her!

"And let me tell u this! never forget to... a... mmm , forgot..."

(((((This message in Stereo where available)))))

After two weeks of dieting, all I lost was two weeks.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.

As my grandfather had said in his last words, "A TRUCK!"

Be nice to your enemies, it drives them nuts.

Black holes were created when G-d divided by zero!

Don't just do something, STAND THERE!

"I don't want to be remembered, I want to be forgotten." --George, "Seinfeld"

Hard work never killed anyone, but why take a risk?

Help! I can't find the "ANY" key.

"Show me how you use 'phony' in a positive way" - "That Michael Jordan is such a phony"

If Corn Oil Is Made From Corn, What's Baby Oil Made From?

If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0!

Only XT users know that January 1, 1980 was a Tuesday!

Why did CNN cancel that cool "Desert Storm" show?

Writing to Washington won't help -- he's dead!

"Horowitz wins! Horowitz wins! Horowitz wins!"

Be wary wary quiet... I'm hunting wabbits!

"Don't put your life in the hand of a rock n' roll band." Oasis

"What do you do for a living?" "I'm a remote control" "What is it?" "It's something in the field of television"

Windows detected! Delete? (Y/Y).

"How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?"

"Free hotel! Free Cables! Free Willie! Woo-Hoo!!"

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Sleep is a poor substitute for coffee.

Perception is usually more persuasive than reality.

New York: The Land Of The Freak And The Home Of The Rave

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." -Albert Einstein

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Jacqueline Kennedy: "The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse."

Marilyn Monroe: "I've been on a calendar, but never on time."

Marilyn Monroe, on posing nude for the calendar: "It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."

"I choose not to run!" --Jerry, "Seinfeld"

No problem is too big to run away from.

A day without sunshine is like night.

He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.

If you had everything, where would you keep it?

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

Save the whales -- collect the whole set

"Liverpool can be a very lonely place on a Friday night... and this is only Thursday morning!"

"I feel like an old splitted drum stick!"

"When you control the mail, you control information!" --Newman, "Seinfeld"

"what would your friends be doing here?" "just plain!" "just plain what?" "just playin' around!"

"Help! Help! H for hurry, E for Urgent, L for Love me and P for Pleeeeease! won't you PLEASE PLEASE Help me???"

"For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots." --George, "Seinfeld"

"'Ello!" "did you just say hello?" "No! I said 'ello! - but it's close enough!"

"I am not a member of any club. because I would not be a member of a club that accepts people like me as its members!!!" (Groucho Marx)

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

"Giddy-up!"

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Bill S. Preston and Ted Theodore Logan to G-d: "First of all, we would like to congratulate you on the planet Earth. It is a most excellent planet, whom we enjoy on a daily basis!"

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"

"What's new with the middle east peace process?" "Well, the Syrians are buying scuds, there's fighting in South Lebanon, and the Israelies bombed a refugee camp. Thank g-d they're not at war!"

I used to think I was indecisive. Now, I'm not so sure....

"Knowing you is like going into the jungle, I don't know what I'll find next, and I'm real scared." --Jerry (to George), "Seinfeld"

"Violence is the biggest enemy of Israeli democracy" (Itzhak Rabin, an hour before he was shot)

"The Possesed Falafel Maker" - coming soon to a cinema near you!!

New Mexico - not really new, not really Mexico

The Palestinians are our enemies. And with enemies there's only one thing to do - peace!

"I'm a great quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. I was raised to give up." --George, "Seinfeld

The closest I ever get to be a leader is when I'm the first one to step out of an elevator

Freedom means you're all alone

I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is hailing a taxi cab

"Hello, Newman."

"You're killing independent George!" --George, "Seinfeld"

"I'm going to Latin-America, and I'll need to use a translator, because I don't speak Latin" (Dan Quayle)

"When did you move to Canada?" - "I don't live in Canada, I live in New-York" - "Yeah, but when?"

Remember, even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat

"What do you do for a living?" - "I'm a hard drive" - "What is it?" - "It's something in the field of computers"

And of course Henry The Horse dances the waltz!

I would have gone out with you, but the man on TV told me to stay tuned.

If there is no G-d, who pops up the next Kleenex?

"He who wants the world to remain as it is, doesn't want it to remain at all." (Erich Fried)

The most incomprehensible thing about the universe, is that it is comprehensible! (Albert Einstein)

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." (Janis Joplin)

You're a nobody, UNTIL you've been ignored by a cat!

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Pablo Picasso

Life could be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.

You know you've been spending too much time C-programming when you misdate a check and fix it by adding '++'

Don't blame me, I voted for Peres.

I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is playing the piano

I am the eggman, They are the eggmen, I am the walrus, Goo Goo G'Joob.

Spelling is a lossed art.

Why would Jerry bring anything?

If the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the English rain.

Never let your schooling interfere with your education

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

"The pizza place was out of pizza??"

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform

And my advice to those who die - declare the pennies on your eyes

"Life is full of coincidence, and when you're stressed it seems like there is a plot. Oliver Stone made a career like that." -- Sydney, "Melrose Place"

I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is giving the peace sign

Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!

"How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?" --Elliot, "E.T."

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time

A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction

I'm old enough to know better, but too young to care

If g-d had meant us to be in the army, we would have been born with green, baggy skin

Why do mountin climbers rope themselves together?
To prevent the sensible ones from going home

If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented, it wasn't worth doing

"What are the odds of a plane crash? A million to one?" - "It's something! It's hope!" --Jerry and George, "Seinfeld"

I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is flicking a cigarette

"What is it all about? It's about football!" --Eric Cantona

"Lunatics have always been the best leaders: Musolini, Hitler, Amanda.... " --Sydney, "Melrose Place"

You are wise, witty and wonderfull, but you spend too much time reading this sort of trash

Good judgement generates from experience; experience generates from bad judgement

"Christmas is the time of year when people of all religions join together and worship Jesus" --Bart Simpson

Teachers have feelings. Teachers can get hurt. Teachers live in houses.

"Can I take your coat?" - "No, thank you, I'm not thirsty"

I like work.... I can sit and watch it for hours

For some reason this tagline reminds everyone of Marvin Zelkowitz

A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness

Just because you agree with some basic idea doesn't mean you have to swallow everything that goes with it whole

"There's nothing more unequal than treating unequal people equaly" --Thomas Jefferson

"Bibi's policy is like a broken clock: it is correct twice a day, but you don't plan your life according to it" --Ehud Barak

As Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself"

To err is human, to forgive is Not Company Policy

"Marge, are we Jewish?" - "No, Homer" - "Woo-Hoo!!" --Homer and Marge Simpson, "The Simpsons"

I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is giving a high five

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

I don't object to sex before marriage, but two minutes before?!?

You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom

If it happens, it must be possible

I got no car and it's breaking my heart, but I've found a driver and that's a start

A nuclear war can ruin your whole day

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was

"I encourage my employees to lie, but not to me"

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be

In art, as in art, there's no such thing as "no such thing"

"I told you not to eat on an empty stomach"

"How did you find America?" - "Turned left at Greenland"

"When are people going to learn? Democracy doesn't work!" --Homer J. Simpsons, "The Simspons"

"Slavery is an ugly word, but welfare is even uglier"

Well done is better than well said

The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy

When in doubt, tell the truth

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION

When in doubt, do what Bibi does - guess!

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

"Every goal that he scores is an absolute beauty" ("he" = David Beckham)

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

"I was a wimp with character" --Harisson Ford, describing himself as a child

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes

I have great faith in fools -- self confidence my friends call it.

An apple every 8 hours keeps 3 doctors away

AMAZING BUT TRUE: There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara Desert.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

The king is red, long live the king!

When in doubt, go for the joke

"For our last number we'd like to ask your help. The people in the cheaper sits - clap your hands. And the rest of you can just ruttle your jewelary" --The Beatles



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