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Rated: PG-13- Intense Sequences of Violence and Action, Some Sexuality and Language
     I’ve never met Michael Bay and I doubt I ever will, so I can’t pinpoint what kind of a person he is.  But as a director, he is both expensive and cheap.  Expensive because his movies cost way more than their worth.  Cheap because he doesn’t really care about filmmaking as an art form so much as he does a way to make more money than he spent on the film in the first place.  Most of his movies feature brawny scripts and big-name actors who find their characters placed in impossible situations, and the fate of a large of number of innocent lives depend on their success.
      Okay, so I like “The Rock,” but even that movie pulls a lot of cheap tricks.
      With “The Island,” Bay is committing the same crimes.  We have an over-the-top story of a dystopic future, where the powerful have taken control and made humans into lab rats – so to speak.  Inside a massive living facility, Lincoln Six Echo (Ewan McGregor) goes about his business (or rather the business of a higher authority).  Every morning, he wakes up at the same time, in a bed by himself, in a room drenched in white, with a window emphasizing the beauty of the outside.  And it’s outside, far away, past the deep blue ocean, that the Island lies.  According to the people who order him around all day long, the Island is where he’ll go when his number is picked in the lottery.  It’s everyone’s freedom from the facility, and eventually all of them will have their number picked.
       Along the routine of the day, Lincoln Six Echo crosses paths with Jordan Two Delta (Scarlett Johansson) and they begin to share a natural attraction to each other.  Suddenly, Jordan’s number is called, and she’s all set to go to the Island.
       Lincoln suspects something.  Further investigation leads him to Merrick (Sean Bean), the coordinator of the facility.  He tells Lincoln there’s nothing to worry about and sends him on his way.
      I won’t mention too much more of the plot, because the more I reveal the more you’ll dislike “The Island.”  Despite Michael Bay’s habitual use of insultingly-mindless action, the first thirty minutes of “The Island” relies on your total confusion.  Bay doesn’t get to the explosions until later.
      Now, why is “The Island” a contender for possibly being Bay’s best film?  The script has a lot of things to admire.  It allows Bay to use his action in step with the story.  There’s an eye-popping car chase scene in the second act, not to mention the painful on-foot chases that take us all through plumbing of the facility.  But this does not mean that Bay is growing out of his old self.  Far from it; that car chase scene could’ve been three or four minutes shorter.  And there must be five different on-foot chases through pipe systems.  They get too familiar.
       And the script has some holes in it.  Some are avoidable (a missing tile in the floor should probably warn of an intrusion), and some are silly (would a clone really be able to teach himself to drive?).
       At least, though, Bay is trying his hand at a story like this; a surprisingly mind-racking tale of morality and ignorance.  It’s mind-racking because with this technology age, the public wonders about stuff like this.  You might remember a fantastic sci-fi film called “Gattaca.”  “The Island” resembles that film in the sense that no matter how implausible the plot became, we recognized how implausible the age we live in really is.  Reality is no longer real for many people.
       Does the end work?  Maybe.  It’s a little contrived – a little show-offy.  Bay is trying for his cheap emotion again, and I guess it works, but he would have done well to have not cut so many times.  In a matter of seconds, we get an eyeful of vast helicopter shots when we should be close in on the actors to capture their emotion.
       Bay has made a few films with cinematographer John Schwartzman.  Schwartzman is a talented photographer, and the only good thing about movies like “Pearl Harbor.”  With “The Island,” Bay switches to director of photography Mauro Fiore, who capture some beautiful shots here.  If nothing else, look for that.  ** ˝