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It starts out with some crappy scary music playing and a voice-over of some “great” actor introducing the main characters by telling a little about them and using crappy dialogue. This instantly showed a lack of talent by the screenwriters (Mark A. Altman and Dave Parker), who, I’m sure have a wonderful career ahead of them. (Yeah, right.) If Mr. Parker and Mr. Altman can’t even introduce the characters without a voice-over plainly telling you who each person is and how the act, then you can guess how the rest of the movie goes.
A group of dumb teenagers hear about a rave that’s happening on an island somewhere. Of course they miss their ride over and have to ask a boat captain (named Captain Kirk) and his sea mate to take them across to the island. But the captain’s sea mate refuses to go because the island is filled with “evil spirits.” The captain refuses not to go (for some reason not explained) and takes the dumb teenagers over to the island filled with evil spirits so they can go to their rave. Please read that last sentence again and try hard not to laugh.
When they arrive, everyone else has mysteriously been killed. Well, who cares? Certainly not the dumb teenagers. Now they can have as much beer as they want. “I just hope they have mixers, ‘cause Bud just isn’t gonna do it.” The dumb teenagers separate. Some go out to find all the people. Some stay behind to have sex. Yes, even though there are evil spirits all around, they are still dumb enough to have sex in the middle of nowhere.
To make a long story short, the dumb teenagers find some other teenagers they can be dumb with. They were hiding out in a house that “has to be a millennia old.” One of the dumb teenagers whips a video camera that tells what happened. (Basically a bunch of crapily made-up zombies raid the rave and kill most of the people.) After some references to George Romero (which I think should’ve been taken out because this film is not worth his name being mentioned in it), Captain Kirk, who is still on the island, finally realizes that they need to kill these “evil spirits” and just happens to have a bunch of automatic weapons and grenades on the island. In a scene that equals about half the movie’s time limit, the dumb teenagers shoot, stab, and/or explode as many zombies as possible.
I kid you not, you can actually see a spring fling a zombie into the air in what should be “cool effect”. With crappy special effects, crappy acting, crappy directing, crappy gore, and just about crappy everything, the makers of this film (which is based on a video game) should be ashamed of themselves. I hope this is the last film they ever make. It must have been a painful experience making this piece of crap because it was a painful experience watching it. “House of the Dead” makes “Freddy vs. Jason” look like a masterpiece. Zero Stars