Background: Originally posted September 2004. Reaction to Season 10 opener
Rating: G
Summary: How I thought the season opener Hail and Farewell 2 should have ended
Mac sat staring off into the distance. The sound of the waves soothed her as a calming balm.
Harm was looking at the water in front of him but his mind was on the woman next to him. He could feel the ache in her heart. To have someone you trusted disregard it so flagrantly must be tearing her apart, again.
He couldn’t help remembering the time Dalton Lowne had used his relationship with Mac to sneak information from her desk in order to aid his very guilty client. He, Bud and Mac sat drowning their sorrows to the tune of old songs on a comforting bar stool at McMurphy’s Tavern. How he wished it could be that simple again.
Mac’s thoughts were running a mile a minute. Why did she always trust the men who valued their jobs more than her? Were all men like that or was she just always the ‘lucky’ one to pick the idiots? Maybe it was her fault, could it be she simply didn’t deserve anything better? She glanced down at the sand on her feet when a small voice within began shouting at her to look to the man at her side.
He had said it to her that night on the porch. He’d always be there for her. He was indeed one man who put her safety before his career, and yet, she discarded that gesture as she would the daily trash. What in the name of God was she thinking last year?
“Harm,” “Mac,”
They each let out a lighthearted chuckle at their timing.
“You go first,” Harm urged.
“Thank you,” Mac sighed. “You said you’d always be here for me. I think it’s finally starting to sink in.” Placing her hand over her eyes to block the sun, Mac had turned to face Harm.
“I’m sorry he put you through this.” Harm offered softly.
“His mother knew he was alive, Lori June knew he was alive, but he didn’t let me know. He let me blame myself for the death of another lover.” Mac turned back towards the ocean, not noticing the catch in Harm’s breath at the use of the word lover.
“He left me in the care of a paid assassin!” She hadn’t meant to raise her voice, but how could he!
Harm wasn’t sure if he should try to say something comforting or just let her vent. He wanted so badly to reach over and take her hand, rub her shoulder. Hell, he wanted to take her in his arms and make the world right for her. Regardless of how he felt, though, he refrained from any physical gesture or comments. She was coming to him, he’d do this at her pace.
“To think I thought I loved that SOB. I suppose there’s a few good things to his resurrecting from the dead. I think I prefer being furious to broken hearted. It’s amazing how quickly being deceived, lied to, and disregarded can cure a lovesick heart.”
“I wouldn’t mind breaking a few of his bones myself,” Harm muttered under his breath.
Mac bit back a laugh. “I guess he did leave you holding the bag.”
“I wouldn’t call giving me back my best friend the same thing as holding the bag.”
Mac shifted her weight, turning her head again she flashed Harm a broad smile.
“I can’t imagine where my life would be if I hadn’t had you for a best friend.” Her smile faded and her gaze dropped back to her sand covered feet.
“Haven’t I had enough crap in my life? Haven’t I paid my dues yet? Don’t I deserve true love? GOD.” Mac took a deep breath. “Not only am I probably never going to find a man to really love me, now I probably won’t ever have a child to love either.” Mac threw the small stick she’d been playing with into the waves with all her might.
Harm’s heart cracked open a little further watching the one lone tear drip down the side of her face, then followed by another. He’d waited enough, trying to hide the tremble in his hand Harm reached over to wipe away a tear and then lightly laid it down on Mac’s.
“Mac, no matter what, you will always have someone who loves you.” He squeezed her hand hoping he didn’t need to remind her of their words on a porch so many years ago. “As for what you deserve, you deserve the world on a silver platter.” Harm paused when Mac sighed heavily, the tears having stopped.
“I could never imagine anyone else being the mother of my children. This may not be much, but if there’s even the slightest chance you can have children, I’ll do whatever is necessary to help make it happen.” Harm stared at her waiting for some reaction.
Mac stared at her hand in Harm’s with the intensity of a laser beam. There he was for her, again. Why was she making everything so damn complicated? What happened to the easy going people they used to be? Why was there so much pain in their lives?
Slowly looking over to him, her free hand once again shading her eyes from the sun. “You really mean that don’t you? You’d trust me to be the mother of your child.”
“I’ve looked forward to it.” Harm couldn’t hold back the grin that spread across his face.
Her eyes wide as saucers, Mac’s jaw dropped as words failed her.
“Close your mouth, marine. You’ll catch flie,.” Harm chuckled. “Does it surprise you so much to know I think you’ll be a great mom?” Harm squeezed her hand again.
“I guess so. You’ve really looked forward to this? Last year I thought you were going to have heart failure at the thought of having a baby with me.” Shifting to avoid some of the sun, Mac let her hand fall to the ground.
“It wasn’t that I didn’t want you to have my baby.” Harm couldn’t resist chuckling. He felt like he was lost in the dialogue of a bad soap opera or worse, a 1970’s pop music hit. “I was just thrown off at the thought of becoming a father earlier than I’d planned.”
“Mm.” Mac wasn’t convinced it was that simple. Then again, he did look awfully sincere.
“Well, either way, it’s probably a moot point. I’d have to have luck on my side and that’s usually in short supply in my life.” Mac took another deep breath.
“Maybe it’s time we pooled our luck?” Harm smiled hopefully.
Mac’s frown slowly faded. Moving her eyes from their focus on the distant horizon, down to their clasped hands, then up to his gorgeous green eyes. Mac couldn’t stop the surge of contentment that swelled within her.
“Yeah, maybe it’s time.”
Fully aware of the implications of the few words that had just passed between them. Broad grins spread happily across their faces.
Standing up without releasing her hand, Harm reached down for Mac’s other hand to help her up.
“Ready to move on?” He was talking about so much more than just a drive home.
“Ready.” And she was answering so much more.
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