Roll on in for a Laugh!!

 
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy:

Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. This time should
be budgeted in the following manner:

15 minutes looking for assignment
11 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children
8 minutes in the bathroom
10 minutes getting a snack
23 minutes eating snack
7 minutes checking the TV Guide
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the
assignment

Thank you for your cooperation.

 

 
 
School Answering Service

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.
In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please  listen to all options before making a selection:

-To lie about why your child is absent, Presss 1.
-To make excuses for why your child did not do his work, Press 2.
-To complain about what we do, Press 3.
-To cuss out staff members, Press 4.<
-To ask why you didn't get needed informatioon that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you, Press 5.
-If you want us to raise your child, Press 66.
-If you want to reach out and touch, slap orr hit someone, Press 7.
-To request another teacher for the third tiime this year, Press 8.
-To complain about bus transportation, Presss 9.
-To complain about school lunches Press 0
-If you realize this is the real world and yyour child must be accountable/responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not the teacher's fault for your child(ren)'s lack of effort ---

                            Hang up and have a nice day!!!

(Catholic joke - please do not read if you will be offended!)

 
      A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday.  
      The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.
      Susie said, "He was born in a manger."
      Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."
      Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."
      Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"
      "From my Daddy," said Johnny.
      "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, "Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"