| Oct 3, 2002. Thursday + 1.08am. Bad Cough Have been having a very bad cough lately. My throat gets dry easily. I cough very badly too at night during my sleep. Last night, when Shirley was sleeping over like other wednesday nights, I probably woke her up for three times at least. I know because she got up three times during the night to bring me warm water to drink. Must have been a disrupted sleep for her... yet she always gets up in the morning energetic for a new day to start. I wonder, how can she do that? + Tuesday. Stiff Ankle Just this tuesday, I went to see the doctor. Got a walking cast now! It's in a light grey colour, with cushions inside it. There are also two inflatable-deflatable balloons on the side to support my right ankle. I'll be wearing it for this coming month. The doctor told me to start putting weight on it little by little. I should be able to walk without the help of the crutches after two weeks. It's been amazing that after not using my foot for one month, I feel so stiff and sensitive about it. My pinky toe cannot even move. It's so stiff. And for sure my foot is not able to stretch or bend at a usual ankle yet. I just have to exercise it carefully more and more everyday. |
| Autumn Oct 17 2002. Fresh chill, cold air, Swooping up the falling rags from the dark dried branches, as if Retelling my mind's whirling currents; Forcing through the tight joints of my limbs, as if deliberately Revealing my heart's intertwined and hardened emotions; Stripping away the colours and patches on our lands, Foreshadowing to this year our vulnerable departure. CT |
| Emotions Oct 14, 2002. Lately, I have hoped to express many rushes of emotions. Feeling very low and very heavy, Feeling bright and uplifted, Feeling simple and easy, Feeling troubled and complicated. Sometimes, emotions are past and behind before I could take my time and elaborately savour them. Sometimes, emotions stay with you when you least desire them to. Often times, emotions are only the backdrop which my actions are built upon. On special occasions, emotions become the arm and the channel of an important action. If a person's life is to the flame on a chaff, Emotion is to the richness of the air surrounding it. Ultimately, it's the fuel -- one's commitment in response to God's faithfulness -- That keeps it going. |
| Oct 20, 2002. Automony Regained! + For a week, I've started to walk on my right foot without my crutches! Stairs have never been so exciting and rewarding to do!! To be able to use both legs, one by one, instead of using just one hopping up, gives me a sense of control and balance. It does make me feel I am a strong and healthy person again. I've walked from Wilson Hall Willcocks St, up Huron St. to the CCF office; I've walked to Sidney Smith for my Tuesday evening classes; I've walked to the Robarts Library for the first time, to study there and have a change for the first time in the past 8 weeks. I can get around without thinking too hard. That's a real +plus+ in life!! Some others told me, it's even encouraging and exciting for them to see me walking again! |
| O c t o b e r 2 0 0 2 |
 |
| Hot off the press Oct 25, 2002. From SHOCK magazine Embracing the Gift of Pain by S. Ooi "The 21st century is a world of Tylenol and aspirin, of narcotics and alcohol. We are taught that pain is bad, that it is something to be quickly avoided at all costs... "I am often shocked by Jesus' faith. Jesus' way is not to avoid pain, but to confront it head on... on Gospel of Mark Ch.9 [upon Jesus' return from the Mountain of Configuation finding a large crowd around the disciples] "The argument centered on the inability of his disciples to cast out the evil spirit in a boy. Jesus' was shocked ... by the lack of feeling for the pain of the boy and his father. What good does an argument do when one is suffering the grim reality of pain?" "Instead of numbing our senses, he calls us to be shocked by pain... to embrace and enter into the pain of others ..." |
 |