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July 2001
Post-It Notes for ...
Am I really alone?
God says, "Hi! Have I answered your question?"
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1st, Sunday  Canada Day
Quiet day for me.
So often do I misunderstand God's intentions.  Time to clarify.  He's out there watching me every minute not because He wants to find fault in me and punish me, but because He loves me so much that He seriously wants to be involved in my life - to help me when I am weak, and embrace me when I am scared.  Sorry, God, for getting you wrong before.
2nd, Monday
      A pleasant walk with Ann down Yonge Street under the gentle weather.  That's where Ann has observed, given, served and grown for the past several years.  Ann, I do feel like I am now quite similar to the "you" then, yet my heart is warmed to hear of how His Amazing Love has changed you.  You have become beautiful because God has moulded you through YSM.  And you started me to consider this:  to surrender and take my turn to be softened and moulded like clay .
3rd, Tuesday
      "Back to School!" seems a slogan too early for the business owners to print on their flyers but certainly reflects my current life condition.  Besides the lil' 15-min break, three hours straight, Statistics, 7pm-10pm. It was God's grace I pulled through it all right tonight.  I need to start praying for an attention span at least 600% longer than that in a normal human being.  "Stay focused, and don't zone out. Stay focus, and don't zz....." was what I recited to myself the whole night.
4th, Wednesday
       At BOM (Breakthrough Overseas Missions) for a Team Meeting. First impression after a six-week vacation, BOM = young people + energy.  First, plain administrative stuff, and then onto the real issues . . . my favourate moment in the meeting was when the team suddenly clicked, and each person started to explode with weird yet incredible ideas, and finally come to a fun yet functional plan! 
       I am trying to enjoy and comprehend an intriguing intersection, that of "individuals" and "a team".
5th, Thursday
       Feel sorta' "defeated" by Stats.  Truly irrational since only two classes (7 hours) so far.  Tonight, I managed to ask a question, whether the "Least Square Regression Line is the line where  ... epsilon ... possible lines  ..." to clarify for my own understanding.  Who cares what I meant!  Then, the prof replied, "Squared.  the distribution of the
squared epsilon.  I'll come back to that, but you're on the right track."     Am I? 
       From that point on, I was lost throughout the lecture.  After class, I wanted to hop out of that gloomy moody feeling.
       So I geared up: hair tied, hat on, wrist guarded ... for the first time, I put on my rollerblades that have been put away for five years.  I dreamed of gliding down the streets like many I saw recently on sunny days.  Looked so easy when they do it well.  Now my turn.  The friction between blades and the ground made so much noise esp. when I was in the quad.  I felt like everyone upstairs could hear how "unschooled" I am at this sport.  I went on anyway on the rugged path despite several groups of passersby who, kind enough, had not looked or laughed at me.  Oh, my ankle got so sore.  In less than half an hour, I packed and left.  Perhaps I will practice on my own just like that for half an hour a day...    Am I on the right track?
6th, Friday
      So hard to put myself together to face one difficult thing, Statistics.  Perhaps it's really difficult, or I am just lazy.  It's probably both.  I remember a conversation about laziness with my father.  He took the gloomier side and said, "everyone wants to be lazy."  I agreed, but had a more optimistic view.  True, laziness is like gravity.  We prefer to sit down when there is a chair.  Yet, we can often fight back gravity with some effort.  That's when we choose to stand or even jump up.  I finally stood up late in the afternoon.   
7th Saturday
      Tennis class: the racquet is an extension of your hand.  Hit the ball forehand with the racquet = slap a person in the face with the palm of your hand.  Backhand = slap a person in the face with the back of your hand.  That's illustratively helpful for the game, but odd concept I thought.
       Breakthrough: Tic Tac Toe info session: games & workshops.
       Barbacue with JK's Fellowship: yummy fishballs, sausages, cha siu, steak and marshmellows.
       Conclusion:  One Fun Day.