PORTER HOUSE OF FOOSBALL RANKINGS
~~DECEMBER~~ |
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Fooser |
Previous |
Comment |
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1 |
Matt Porter |
2 |
Shooter regained his title in convincing fashion, beating Jake in 4 of 5 games. He also managed to overcome a complete lack of snake early in the tournament against Charlie. |
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2 |
Jake Buchanan |
1 |
Jake falls from the top spot after losing his title to Matt. His handle wrap couldn't save him from losing 4 consecutive games to Matt after taking the first one. |
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3 |
Andy Porter |
6 |
Freak once again managed to be the surprise of the tournament, taking 3rd place. Despite not having foosed since the summer, he managed to overcome an early loss to Justin and run through the loser's bracket. |
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4 |
Nard Porter |
5 |
The Nardman rebounded from last tournament's horrible performance to finish 5th overall. He barely defeated Fredo and Dave before falling to Matt and Andy consecutively. |
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5 |
Charlie Yarnold |
7 |
Charlie continued his climb up the PHF ladder, this time finishing within just one goal of 3rd place. His constant practice up in RPI proved to be extremely valuable as he beat Justin easily in 2 straight games. |
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6 |
Justin Mazouat |
4 |
Lim followed up last tournament's 3rd place finish with just a single victory vs. the Freak before losing 2 straight. He'll give you some excuses about being tired and injured, but it's all a load of crap, he was simply outplayed. |
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7 |
Dave Porter |
3 |
Grid's ridiculous antics are second to none, unfortunately his foosball abilities appeared to be second to all. Perhaps he's spent too much time in Rutgers playing the banjo and not enough time foosin. |
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8 |
Phill Lipari |
10 |
Phill had two forgettable tournaments coming into Thanksfoosin, going winless in one and being attacked in another. He turned things around this time though, going undefeated through the amateurs. |
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9 |
Lauren Burnham |
8 |
Lauren had a good tournament, taking 2nd in the amateurs while still managing to keep all of her clothes on, marking a first for her. She should also be extremely greatful as Matt continues to cater around her every need for the tournaments. |
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10 |
Mike Cullinan |
11 |
Uugghhh. Mike finished 4th in the amateurs, but probably would've done a lot better if he had foosed at all in the past few months. |
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11 |
Brian Fredo |
13 |
Fredo had a good tournament and remained surprisingly calm after losing to Lauren. According to him, he won the entire tournament, however, according to everyone else, he took 3rd place in the amateur division. |
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12 |
Manuel Donnay |
9 |
Manuel lost early on to rookie phenom Brian Radvansky, and had other matters to tend to later on, preventing him from finishing the tournament. |
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13 |
Jason Pittman |
18 |
The poor one finally made his move out of the rookie division, beating Paul in the championship. In amateur play, however, he appeared intimidated by his wealthier opponents and refused to play. |
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14 |
Brian Radvansky |
NR |
B-Rad had a great PHF debut, finishing 3rd in the rookies and 5th in the amateurs. But after winning his first 5 matches, he went on to lose his next 4. |
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15 |
Jordan Dellostretto |
12 |
To the delight of many, Jordan was once again unable to attend the tournament as he was busy mourning the fact that the Terps suck. |
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16 |
Joe Pacer |
14 |
"Small kid who's no good at foosball" had 2 victories in Thanksfoosin, but unfortunately they were both against lower quality opponents. He was unable to beat either Mike or B-Rad in even a single game. |
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17 |
Dave Puder |
15 |
Dave beat the division's oldest competitor, Paul Mazouat, before falling to the division's sluttiest, Lauren. His arrival was greatly appreciated, though, as there was no Truth accompanying him this time. |
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18 |
Paul Schulte |
NR |
Paul is not good at foosball. That's all there is to it. Finishing 2nd in the rookie division was a fluke, as he won every series in the 3rd game. |
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19 |
Joe Houghton |
17 |
Jo had a very easy tournament early on, beating a mormon Jeff Rich and a non-trying Alysse, before losing to a homeless Pittman. He then fell victim to Paul's ridiculous 3rd game luck. |
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20 |
Alysse Jacobs |
19 |
Alysse arrived late after a hard day of shopping, but still managed to beat Kratt in the 1st round. She then forfeited the rest of her games, opting to complain about her feet hurting and to talk about horses instead. |
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21 |
Paul Mazouat |
NR |
After debuting in the experienced, Paul dropped down to the amateurs, but didn't fair well. Next tournament, he will drop even further to the rookies. |
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22 |
Colin Dray |
NR |
Colin looked good early on in his win over Chris and a one goal loss to B-Rad, before becoming too obsessed with Madden to focus on foosball. |
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23 |
Chris Lojek |
NR |
Chris proved to be the best fooser with the last name Lojek, unfortunately there were 22 people with different last names who were better. |
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24 |
Chris Krattiger |
22 |
Kratt overcame his extreme ugliness to win his first PHF tournament games, beating two lightweights, Jeff Rich and Steve Rivera. |
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25 |
Joe Lojek |
NR |
Joe started off the tournament by beating AT, but then lost two straight games and a lot of money in acey-deucey. |
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26 |
Alex Toth |
NR |
AT, despite the disadvantage of looking like Andy Porter, won one series in the loser's bracket, but that was all. |
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27 |
Jeff Rich |
20 |
The Mormon was not in Utah for this tournament, but he might as well have been as he lost 4 consecutive games and went home. |
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28 |
Briana Egan |
NR |
Briana took this tournament off as she didn't think it would be nice to beat her opponents so badly. Look for her to win it all next time around. |
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29 |
Steve Rivera |
NR |
Steve's debut marked the arrival of the first minority into the PHF. He performed like a minority, however, losing every game he played. |
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30 |
Peggy Hill |
21 |
Peggy is in New Orleans in shorts and a T-Shirt, while the rest of us are dealing with temperatures below freezing. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Well atleast we're all better than him at foosball. All except one... |
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31 |
Dave Silva |
16 |
And that one would be Factor, or Citizen Cane if you will. After not attending Thanksfoosing, he resumes control of his last spot. Don't look for him to be moved from this spot for a long time, either. |
