Fast paced and dumb faced living in an era
Of ultra techno gadgets.
Sharp shiny metal tickles the reflective stainless steel eyes.
Slicing dicing mincing machine
Designed to humor the lonely housewife.
I need 12 through UPS at $19.99 each.
What a deal.
Better make it 20.
I’m throwing a party tomorrow night.
Watching TV as if mesmerized by a table tennis match:
Waiting for the next miracle drug to step from behind the purple velvet curtain as the drum roll intensifies until her ears scream in anxious anguish. Drooling with ecstatic delight as the two sun-bright spotlights chase each other around the drapery like springtime squirrels.
Silence sweeps the live crowd.
Lavender velvet spreads open to reveal this millennium’s secret. Gasps of wide-eyed excitement pop in random places through the audience.
She gasps while her Toto dog sleeps on her fuzzy-slippered feet.
The orange tic-tac size pill does it all.
No more sleepless nights, impotence, frizzy hair, backaches, acne, dry skin, or racism.
Clarity for the mind.
Bathwater for the soul.
She nearly orgasms with her melting Klondike in hand, cigarette in mouth, and rollers in hair.
It’s 2am.
The bars are closing now.
Jack and his whisky rancid breath are probably
Pinballing down I-79 right now.
Leaving the TV on and the cigarette smoldering in the ashtray, she runs up to bed.
Best to play dead when he joins her.
I’ll
order 30 bottles at $39.99 each tomorrow.
If
you order in the first five days,
You get the 31st bottle for free.
Copyright 2006 Cathy Kaplan