PC
Should the age of political correctness become any more stringent the following could become reality:
A woman sits on a park bench working with her laptop. She is approached by a man of approximately the same age.
“Greetings, female of the species,” he says to her.
“Greetings, male of the species,” she smiles back.
“Is this space required by the presence of another being?” he inquires, indicating the empty half of the bench.
“It is not,” she replies.
He sits.
“Very correct weather we are having,” he comments.
“Yes,” she agrees, “the sky is the correct color and the clouds, they are the perfect shade of… cloud.”
“It would be correct to introduce myself, I am William.”
“Abigail,” they shake hands. “But not Abby, it is incorrect and condescending.”
William nods, “Most shortened forms of a proper and correct name are. I detest ‘Bill’.”
“As do I, it causes the remembrance of an incorrect romantic engagement.”
“Would it be incorrect if I were to inquire as to your general area of residence?” William queries.
Abigail turns to face him; “I reside in the New York Urban Center. And you?"
“I also reside in the New York Urban Center.”
“Are you occupied?”
“Yes, I am a creator of correct melodies and harmonies on a piano for the enjoyment of others. And how are you occupied?”
“I am an adjuster of the correctness of created pieces in the written form of the language for children.” Abigail shows him her laptop; “This is a representative specimen of my occupation.”
William smiles, “You are most correctly placed in your occupation.”
“I offer my gratitude.”
“I accept your gratitude freely.”
She inclines her head to him, “Are you romantically required by another of the species, or was that incorrect of me to ask?”
He scratches his chin, “It is not entirely correct—“
“Kindly accept my sincere and correct ashamedness and guilt for having made such an inquiry,” she cuts in.
“It is within my realm of knowledge to understand that that was slightly incorrect, but I am not offended, even though that is incorrect of me. I will answer your question: I am not romantically required by another of the species, and, relating to the fact that you inquired such a thing, I request the same information of you.”
Much relieved Abigail replies, “I am not. Perhaps, if it is not disruptive to you, you would care to take a meal from the same table as I in a common and correct establishment for the nutrition and feeding of our species?”
“I will agree to such a request if only you may agree that we should be equal on this endeavor and each of us shall provide monetary compensation for our personal and specific requirements.”
Abigail looks shocked; “I am correctly amazed that you should consider the notion that I am incorrect enough to expect anything else!”
“Abigail, kindly accept my sincere and correct ashamedness for having let such an idea as that be interpreted from the words that I spoke.”
“I accept your correct emotions.”
“I offer my gratitude to you for that.”
“I accept your gratitude.”
“Shall we remove our joint presence from the boundaries of this park?” William asks.
“Yes, the correct establishment for the nourishment of our species to which I had planned on taking my personal and correct requirements from is in a westerly direction on that cement travelway.”
Abigail and William left the park in the direction to which she had directed them in until they stood before the establishment to which she had previously referred. They each grasped a protrusion, which would allow them to open their own specific and correct doors and mutually selected a table at which they would take their pre-nightfall nourishment.
They each ate their correct vegetarian plain mixed salads and water to drink, exactly as everyone else. Everyone was being perfectly correct and not offending any other members of the species.
After rendering monetary compensation for the services and nourishment delivered to them Abigail and William relieved the building of their presence.
As they walked along the concrete travelway William turned to Abigail.
“You are a very pretty lady.”
Abigail froze where she stood and she had the correct decentness to blush deeply. What William had said broke all the bounds of being correct.
She blinked, trying to keep herself calm and correct, “W-what you said was very incorrect.”
William made a study of his very correct shoes.
“Kindly accept my guilt and ashamedness.”
Abigail shook her head, “This I cannot accept, you have offended me.”
William took a deep breath. To offend another of the species, that was the worst, it went against the very structure of the lives of the species.
He spoke softly, “Then I shall remove myself from your presence so as not to offend you farther.”
William turned sharply and stalked off.
Abigail watched his receding form and with a shrug of her shoulders shook herself free of him. She did not need such a member of the species; any member of the species who was incorrect was not worth having romantic requirements with. Abigail went back to her correct apartment and regretted having wasted few hours in the presence of an incorrect and therefore worthless companion.