Carter was heading to work after staying at Abby's 'til late. That talk last night had really helped. He still missed Lucy, of course, but he was no longer bottling up his feelings.

He was rushing down the cold, busy street, trying to keep from slipping over on the icy sidewalk or from knocking over any unsuspecting passers by. He was late for his shift. Weaver was going to kill him!

He had hoped to wake up early and gone to visit Lucy before work, but there was a power cut. Another one, and his alarm hadn't gone off. He was three quarters of an hour late.

"Hey, Wanna ride?" came a familiar voice as a car pulled up to the curb beside him. It was Susan Lewis.

"Thanks," he said and walked around the car and climbed into the passenger seat, trying to avoid the traffic.

"I thought your shift started at ten?" she asked as she pulled out into the road, looking at him questionably.

"It did" he replied "power cut."

Carter and Susan had only recently split up after a brief, some what strange romance. There was no bitterness though. She just simply figured out that he liked Abby and didn't want to stand in the way. That's what he liked about her. She was not selfish and had even moved half way across the country to be with her niece. Before she left she had been with Mark Green. It had not even occurred to Carter that he liked her in that way. Even when she came back only a short time ago, he still didn't have feelings for her. It was kind of just a spur of the moment thing.

Susan was right, hid did like Abby. He loved Abby. He had even told her that but she either was too shy to say it back or didn't feel the same way about him. True, she was going out with Luka at the time but he was a prick! Though he was bound to think that. He hurt the one person he cared about more than anything.

The car drove into the County general parking lot and the pair headed into the ER.

"You wanna turn the thermostat up, Frank?" yelled Susan as they both entered the building and headed towards the locker room.

"Randi's working on it" he called back.

"Carter" Called an angry voice from beside him.

Damn it!

Kerry was coming out of exam 2 and caught him before he could get to the relative safety of the lounge.

"Good luck with the bitch from hell" Susan whispered under her breath as she escaped the wrath of Dr. Weaver: everyone's worst night mare.

"Where the hell have you been?" She fumed

Carter gulped and turned to face her.

"There was a power cut" he replied, trying his best not to make her even more angry than she was already

"So call the super, and buy a manual alarm clock."

"Will do" said Carter as he went through the door and stuffed his jacket into his locker and got out his stethoscope and ID badge.

He was worried again. All the fear and dread about today that disappeared when he had talked with Abby had returned now that he was back at the hospital, the place that it all happened. He was nervous about today. He didn't want to put anyone's life in danger because his mind was on other things, but he had to work through it and concentrate the best he could.

"Has is been this quiet all morning?" he said, putting on his 'I'm fine' face and trying not to let his emotion get the better of him.

"Yep" said Mark as he grabbed a chart from the rack and got back to work, "It's too damn cold for them to come out"

"It's all right for some" Carter called back, "they've got a choice in the matter."

He wished he had a choice in the matter. He would've rather not come to work today and he hated lying about being OK. On the other hand, it would be better for him to be working and having something to keep his mind off the day than sitting at home, depressed and alone. He had been in that situation before. The whole event is what triggered his narcotics addiction in the first place and he didn't want to let himself be alone so he could relapse. Again. He had only slipped up once since he started the rehab programme. He didn't want it to happen twice.

"Dr. Carter?" Chuny was standing beside him, calling his name. "Are you all right? You were completely out of it."

He snapped back to reality and saw the nurse's concerned face looking back at him.

"Yeah, yeah, fine" he replied slightly dazed, "do you need me somewhere?"

"No, I was just worried. You shouldn't be working too hard. Especially not today."

The second person that had been brave enough to say something.

"If you need someone to talk to, feel free to come and find me"

"Thanks, but really, I'm fine"

He was touched that she had offered to help but he had poured his heart out to Abby yesterday and he was afraid that if he started talking about it again, he would once again become the blubbering wreck he was before. The best thing would be to forget about it until his shift was over then he could let all his emotions flood out when he visits Lucy's grave.

He took a deep breath to compose himself then carried on with treating the patients

"Laura Benson?" He called out into the waiting area.

He was greeted by a young girl, about five years old, with her arm in a makeshift sling.

"Hey there" he said "What did you do to that arm?"

"I fell out of a tree" she replied, simply, not sounding at all worried.

"She will be OK, won't she doctor?", an anxious sounding woman said from behind, "I keep telling her to stop following her brother up that tree."

"She'll be fine" Carter replied, reassuringly, "I'll have to get an x-ray but I predict that it's just a clean break. We'll have you in plaster and out of here in no time."

"Will my friends be able to write on it?" asked the little girl, expectantly

"Sure"

Dealing with that patient wasn't bad, he thought. But he knew his emotions were hanging by a very loose thread and it would only take one minor event for him to loose his cool

He told them to wait a while and went to the desk and ordered an x-ray and fetched one of the nurses to take care of the girl and her over anxious mother.

"Young Woman, mid 20's, stab wound to the lower abdomen"

Carter caught the tail end of the paramedic's call over the radio system as he finished the phone call.

"ETA?" Asked Corday, who was already gathering nurses and alerting everyone to what was happening

"6 minutes"

"I'll take it" Carter told Elizabeth and hurried towards the ambulance bay. He knew it was freezing out side and that he'd be waiting there a long time but he wanted to be ready.

Corday turned to face Carter but he was already heading outside. She was going to tell him that it was probably not the best idea for him to take this case, given the circumstances, but it was a bit late.

Today of all days John thought as he waited for the patient. He knew at the back of his mind that it was wrong for him to take this case and that he was doing it for selfish reasons, but he felt that if he could save this young woman, it would somehow make amends for what happened to Lucy and maybe he wouldn't feel so guilty about the part he played in her death.Maybe.