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The B'nai Khaim in America
Chapter 7 - The Vanishing Beard; The Sabbath; Holidays
The Bible says:
Ye shall not cut round the comers of the hair of your
beard, neither shall thou destroy the corners of thy beard.
Leviticus XIX: 27
Six days may work be done; but on the seventh day is the
Sabbath of rest ... ; no kind of work shall ye do thereon.
Leviticus XXIII: 3
The untrimmed beard and observance of the Sabbath (and
holidays) were the most conspicuous symbols of Judaism in the
shtetl. The untrimmed beard has long since all but vanished as a
symbol of Judaism, both here and abroad. Observance of the
Sabbath and the Jewish holidays continues in various degrees.
Curiously, when American Rabbis and lay leaders deplore the
growing tendency among Jews to abandon their religious
observances, they seldom, if ever, mention the disappearing heard.
When a Jew wears a beard today, it is for looks, not out of
piety; the exception is the small Khasidic sect. Even orthodox
rabbis, let alone lay leaders of the Jewish community, go beardless
today. They rationalize this lapse from the Mosaic Law by
arguing that the law prohibited cutting the beard with scissors
or a razor, but not the use of depilatories, or clippers, or the
electric razor! And so the "bearded Jew" is now a rarity.
I know of only one B'nai Khaim and two B'nai Khaim-in-laws
who died here with their beards untrimmed: my father and my
uncle Rabbi Avrom Kaprov and my uncle Shmuel
Robboy. He is shown below sounding the shofar on Rosh
Hashannah, in Cleveland in the early 1930's.
1. The Vanishing Beard-
Except for these three, the arendar and
cousin Moti Trachtman, all the immigrant B'nai Khaim
died smooth-shaven (except for an occasional mustache). The
disappearance of the beard, however, was gradual, in stages, as
was the case with my brother.
When Daniel, A2 B2 C2, came to Cleveland in 1912, at age
35, he had a full beard. With the financial aid of
relatives he bought a horse and wagon and went out huckstering,
peddling fruits and vegetables. By the end of the year he
tired of "croaking" his wares and left Cleveland for Buffalo.
There were more "Sokolievker" there, and all were doing better
than he.
The very first year in Buffalo he made three changes in his
life: he gave up huckstering and became a junk peddler; he
changed his name to Gelman-"Gillman," his Buffalo friends
told him, was "too goyish"; and he had his beard trimmed to a
goatee. My niece tells me that when a copy of this
photograph reached his family in Sokolievka, her mother hid it
to cover up the disgrace. (The family was not reunited until
1921.)
As his business in Buffalo prospered, Daniel took still another
step towards "becoming an American": he had his goatee
reduced to a "Charlie Chan." That was in 1915. In
the next 15 years he acquired a scrap-iron yard, an "income
property," and became President of the "Sokolievker" shule
which he helped establish. In the spring of 1929 he shaved off
his "Charlie Chan," leaving only a mustache to adorn his face.
Finally, in about 1939, on vacation in Miami Beach, he cut
off his mustache. Daniel Gelman, minus his mustache, died in
1956 at age 80.
2. Observing the Sabbath-
Lack of work skills was one reason so few immigrant B'nai
Khaim were found working in factories. (See Chapter 4). Lack
of physical stamina was another. Like most shtetl Jews, the
B'nai Khaim were short, small-boned men. They were not
fashioned for sustained, heavy factory work. Only a handful
had engaged in heavy labor in the old country. The weak physique
of the immigrant Jew was the culmination of 2000 years of
persecution, discrimination, poverty and the ghetto life of an
ancient people of sturdy peasant stock. And so, like most other
immigrant Jews, the B'nai Khaim drifted into shopkeeping, peddling,
go-between occupations of all sorts-occupations in which
they had been raised in Sokolievka- Yustingrad-KnyazheUman,
and in which, as a by-the-way, they could advance their
material wellbeing independent of the will of a "boss."
Above all, it was the sanctity of the Sabbath that kept many
from seeking work as factory wage-earners. When the B'nai
Khaim came to America, in 1903-1923, the six-day work-week
ruled in the business world, which meant that to work in a
factory one had to work on Saturdays. But working on
Saturday would be as mortal a sin as failure to observe
kashroth. (See note #1) Observing God's commandments had been the
cohesive power that held the Jews together as a people over the
thousands of years since Abraham committed himself to the
covenant of circumcision. Abandoning the commandments
would mean the dissolution of these ties. We will recall how
cousin Zalman gave up America and returned to Sokolievka
rather than sacrifice his Jewish commitments (see Chapter 3
above). Jews would not engage in occupations which deprived
them of the millennial community identity. Observing the
Sabbath gave them a visible sense of belonging. Next to Yom
Kippur, the Sabbath is the holiest of Jewish holidays. It is one
of the Ten Commandments. Yom Kippur alone supersedes the
prerogatives of the Sabbath. You may fast on the Sabbath if
Yom Kippur falls on a Saturday. Otherwise, the Sabbath is a
day of joyful prayer, rest, and good food.
With the legal abolition of the six-day work week in the
mid-1930's, Jews of America got Saturday as a free gift for their
traditional rest day. What have the B'nai Khaim made of this
free gift? Do they abstain from work on Saturdays? Do they go
to shule on the Sabbath day? We asked these questions of the
married males of our group:
1. Do you work on Shabbos?
2. If you don't, is it:
(a) for religious reasons;
(b) because of the five-day work week
3. Do you go to shule (or temple) then?
4. Do you "say Kiddush"(blessings over the wine cup)?
(See table #2 for the answers)
Eighty-seven, or over 86 per cent, of the 101 married males
who answered our questionnaire said they worked on
Saturdays, and only five of the 14 who did not work on
Saturdays said it was for religious reasons. The details also show
the growing alienation from ancestral mores as we move from
the first to the second generation of observers. Much larger
proportions of the native-born populations than of the foreignborn
work on Saturday. Furthermore, when they do not go to
work they do not necessarily go to shule.
Our people fall away radically also from the traditional ritual
of "saying Kiddush:" only 24 of the 101 male respondents "say
Kiddush," in decreasing proportions as we move from the first
to the second generation. In the olden days Kiddush set the
joyful tone of this weekly holiday. Now less than a quarter of
our people "say Kiddush"-30 per cent of the foreign-born and
10 per cent of the native-born, counting B'nai Khaim males and
husbands of B'nai Khaim females.
For our women folk we set up two tests of orthodoxy: lighting
Shabbos candles and cooking on the Sabbath day. The
distinguishing mark of female piety has always been the ritual
lighting of Shabbos candles. Blessing the candles on the eve of
the Sabbath is one of the three commandments specifically
enjoined on the Jewish wife. (See note #2) The blessing of the candles
ushers in the sacredness of the Sabbath. The Shekhinah herself, the
radiance of the Divine Presence, hallows the moment.
We asked our married women:
1. Do you light Shabbos candles?
2. Do you cook on the Sabbath day?
3. Do you go to shule on Saturdays?
We did not question them on mikvah or on khalah. The first
is impertinent in sanitary America. The second is inapplicable.
Few women, in the cities at any rate, bake their own bread.
They knead no dough from which they might pinch off a chunk
for the fire.
The answers to our questions are given in Table 3.
Lighting Shabbos candles appears to have retained the highest
loyalty of our women among their religious observances, particularly
of B'nai Khaim women, both foreign- and native-born.
In the case of kashroth, as we saw, only ten of the 26 foreign-
born women were strict observers, and none of the native-born.
Here we find 17 of the 26 foreign-born and 21 of the 34 nativeborn
women light Shabbos candles. Only three wives of the
foreign-born B'nai Khaim males observed Kashroth strictly, and
none of the wives of native-born B'nai Khaim; however, 40 per
cent of both these groups light Shabbos candles. Still, only a
little over 30 per cent of the foreign-born B'nai Khaim women
and close to 60 per cent of female spouses do not light Shabbos
candles.
Similar results were obtained regarding cooking on the Sabbath
day. Nearly 54 per cent of the foreign-born and 20 per cent of
the native-born female B'nai Khaim do not cook on the
Sabbath. This means that 46 per cent of the foreign-born and
80 per cent of the native-born B'nai Khaim women do cook
on the Sabbath. Even more striking is the fact that 70 per cent
of the wives of foreign-born B'nai Khaim males and over 96 per
cent of the wives of native-born B'nai Khaim males cook on the
Sabbath. We selected cooking on the Sabbath as the work
criterion for our married women, since the majority of them
may not be holding jobs outside their homes. Probably this
difference between B'nai Khaim females and wives of B'nai
Khaim males in the matter of cooking on the Sabbath reflects
the fact that a large proportion of our foreign-born males marry
native-born women and, in part, the inclusion of gentile wives.
A surprisingly large proportion ofB'nai Khaim women, both
foreign- and native-born, regularly go to shule on the Sabbath,
nearly twice the proportion of males. This is so, perhaps,
because men are away at work, or at their weekly sport. This
tendency is paralleled by the larger proportion of shule
membership among foreign-born women (80 per cent) than among
foreign-born B'nai Khaim males (60 per cent), as shown in
Table 4. For the native-born the proportion is 60 per cent for
both sexes.
Approximately 60 per cent of B'nai Khaim males, both
foreign- and native-born, belonged to a house of worship.
Eighty per cent of the foreign-born females and 60 per cent of
the native-born were shule members. More significant, however,
than the large shule membership of the foreign-born females is
the shift in the spectrum of shule affiliation between first and
second generation from Orthodox to Conversative and Reform
Temples, and from there to "none." Only one of the 29 nativeborn
B'nai Khaim males was affiliated with an orthodox shule.
Of the 28 remaining, eight belonged to Conservative and eight
to Reform "Temples." Twelve had no affiliation. The foreignborn
divided equally, six orthodox and six conservative, with
none in the Reform Temple and with eight (!) unaffiliated.
Of the foreign- and native-born males, taken together, 40 per
cent had no shule affiliation. Of the females, 30 per cent were
unaffiliated. This again shows the more conservative character
of our women. Of all the 211 B'nai Khaim and their spouses,
73, or 35 per cent, did not belong to any shule-Orthodox,
Conservative, or Reform.
It will be noted also that shule membership is largely a family
affair-husband and wife belong or do not belong to a shule
together. For example, the foreign-born male B'nai Khaim and
their wives are represented about equally in the Orthodox and
Conservative synagogues and equally in non-membership. The
native-born B'nai Khaim males and their wives each have one
member in the Orthodox shule, are almost equally represented
in the Conservative and Reform shulen and also in the no-shule
affiliation. The native-born and their spouses have the least
representation in the Orthodox shule and the greatest representation
in the no-shule category. In Buffalo, I am told, only the old
now attend the Orthodox shule. It reminds one of reports from
Russia.
3. The Holidays-
The Jewish calendar lists ten religious holidays which Jews
observe in greater or lesser degree. Three of these ten, Rosh
Hashanah (New Year's), Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement), and
Pesakh (the Passover) are the major holidays. Rosh Hashanah
and Yom Kippur are called the High Holydays. The ten days
beginning with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur
are the "Days of Awe"-the time when the Jew confronts his
God with prayer to forgive and erase from his record the sins he
had committed during the past year and to start the New Year
with a clear slate. The awesomeness of these days is symbolized
by the mournful sound of the shofar. (See note #3)
Khotosi!, I have sinned (mea culpa!), they beat their breast.
But it has not all been sin, they plead. We have also done good
deeds, and we are punishing ourselves by fasting a full 24 hours
on Yom Kippur. Oh, God, be merciful!
There is only one other day in the calendar, Tishah B'av,
which calls for 24-hour fasting. Tishah B 'av is the Day of
Lamentation, commemorating the fall of Jerusalem and the slaughter
and captivity of its heroic defenders. How far do our people
in America observe these major holidays and the two major fast
days? In Sokolievka, all the holidays and at least the two major
fast days were sedulously observed. We asked:
1. On which holidays do you stay away from work?
2. On which do you go to shule?
3. Do you fast on Yom Kippur?
4. Do you fast on Tishah B 'av?
5. Do you conduct the seder on Pesakh? If you do, is it
(a) the traditional service
(b) merely a family dinner
6. Do you eat only matzos during the Passover week?
The answers are given in Table 5 and they tell us that the
B'nai Khaim in America, and their spouses, are High Holyday
Jews: they observe mostly Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and taper
off to the near-complete neglect of the others. Only 35 of
211 in our list observed "all" holidays, and as many observed
none. Two-thirds observed the High Holydays by staying away
from work-male and female, foreign- and native-born, B'nai
Khaim and spouses. Go to shule? Fewer attend shule than stay
away from work-a common experience throughout all Jewish
communitites in America.
How did they square with their God? Between 65 and 68 per
cent of the B'nai Khaim fasted on Yom Kippur, except for the
native-born males, only 41 per cent of whom reported fasting.
Little more than 2 per cent fasted on Tishah B 'av to mourn
the loss of the Jerusalem Temple. But most of them still celebrate
the emancipation of their ancestors from bondage in
ancient Egypt by observing Passover. Only 34 of our 211 respondents,
or 16 per cent, said they did not celebrate the Passover
in any way, religious or secular. But 122, or 58 per cent,
celebrated it by conducting the traditional seder, and 55, or 26
per cent, by entertaining or being entertained at a family
dinner.
The 122 who celebrate seder are on par with the 125 who go
to shule on the High Holydays and the 119 who fast on Yom
Kippur. They are the hard-core B'nai Khaim who hold on to the
most sacred of our family customs. Outside this core, beyond
observance of the major holidays, our people are rapidly departing
from family religious tradition.
Notes to chapter 7:
(1) There are no hierarchical priorities among the several hundred original
Biblical injunctions, nor did the scores of thousands of expostulates in
the Talmud and other commentaries set up any. Yet, not all commandments
are equally binding. Many of them, valid for the times in which they were
promulgated, have long since lost their relevancy with historical
changes in social cultures.
(2) The other two are mikvah, the monthly purification through
immersions, and khalah, throwing into the oven a lump of dough to burn
up as a substitute, evidently, for the donation of bread or grain to the
temple enjoined on the ancient Hebrews.
CandleMaker Kaprov
E-Mail:
CandleMaker_Kaprov@Yahoo.com
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