BLUNDERS (PG-13) by Camryn November 2007 (Secret Ficlet) "I love you Kathryn, but you are a lousy cook." Chakotay was startled when Kathryn's fork dropped noisily onto her plate. In the half second it took his eyes to travel from the source of the racket up to the wide blue eyes staring back at him, he realized he'd spoken aloud. Oh. Shit. "Wha...what did you say?" He swallowed with some difficulty as his mouth had suddenly gone dry and frantically searched his mind for an acceptable response. Dare he lie? Tell her she'd misunderstood? No, that wouldn't fly. It was quite clear by the expression on her face that she'd understood perfectly. An idea suddenly came to him. Perhaps he could pass the comment off as playful teasing between good friends. Well, it was worth a try. He managed a chuckle, but even to his own ears it smacked of nervousness. "I love you to pieces, but cooking just isn't your forte." That sounded pretty good he told himself, lifting his glass. When he tilted his head forward and lowered his eyes to drink, he missed the disappointment that briefly shadowed Kathryn's face. By the time he'd set his glass down and looked up it was gone, replaced by a crooked grin. Greatly relieved, Chakotay smiled back. Victory, however, was snatched away with her next words. "What took you six years to say that?" Great. Had she meant the part about love, or her being a lousy cook? This would be a very bad time to make a wrong guess so he quickly chose to answer on the side of caution. He grinned sheepishly and gave a small shrug. "Well, you've never poisoned me." "Yet," Kathryn interjected with a sly smile. "We still have dessert." Chakotay scooped up a forkful of food and gave her an almost serious look. "You know on second thought this isn't half bad" They laughed lightly and went back to their meal, although an undercurrent of awkwardness lingered. It grew with each passing minute, evident in the way they avoided one another's eyes and began to pick at their food rather than eat it. The uncomfortable silence was finally broken when they both spoke at once. "Kathryn." "Chakotay." Kathryn smiled and with a nod prompted Chakotay to speak first. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. It was not my intention." "I know that," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, still smiling. "My culinary blunders are hardly a secret." With elbows on the table, she rested her chin on clasped hands and grew more serious. Chakotay felt a knot of dread form in his chest as he watched the last remnants of her smile slip away. Just before she lowered her gaze to the floral centerpiece, he saw uncertainty in her eyes. "I am curious, though," she said very softly, "About the other thing you said." Chakotay froze, unable to breathe or even blink. His silence brought Kathryn's eyes up to meet his again. "Was that...just...a slip of the tongue?" "Yes,” he answered quietly. This time he saw the disappointment on her face even though she tried to mask it. To hell with caution...it was time to go for broke. "But, that doesn't make it any less true." Kathryn closed her eyes and lowered her forehead to rest on her hands. Chakotay again held his breath. The few moments her face was hidden were agony for him, and he began to fear he'd made a terrible mistake. Finally, she lifted her head and though there were tears in her eyes, beneath them she wore a smile. He exhaled in relief. "I thought you'd given up on me,” Kathryn said with a faint quiver in her voice. Chakotay extended his hand and she took it in both of hers, as anxious as he for contact. "Not possible," he said, still a bit stunned that this was happening. "You see, I don't know how to not love you." "Please don't ever learn," Kathryn said, the quiver more pronounced now. "Because I love you, too." A lone tear dared to escape, but before it slid past the curve of her cheek she brushed it away. Chakotay almost smiled. Even in the midst of these long awaited, most precious and personal moments, Kathryn hated showing any sign of weakness. He hoped with time that would change and she would come to know he was her soft place to fall, and that with him she could completely open up. This included revealing her soft side to him. Until then, he would help her through the discomfort. "Does this mean I'm forgiven for calling you a lousy cook?" It worked. Kathryn's eyes crinkled and her shoulders shook with a silent laugh. "How could I possibly hold that against you when it came after you said you loved me?" Still holding her hand, Chakotay rose to move around the table and tugged her to her feet. He felt a little self-conscious as he slid his arms around her. Kathryn reached up to encircle his neck as if it were the most natural thing in the world. They stood this way for a long while just gazing at one another, grinning like teenagers in a first embrace. Kathryn's thumb stroked the back of his neck as his hand moved gently up and down her back and they got used to being in each other's arms. The fit was perfect as both had known it would be. "Kathryn?" "Mmm?" "Would you mind if I kissed you now?" Her eyes flicked down to his lips then met his eyes again. "Not a bit." Their first kiss was very tender and sweet, yet hinted of passion just below the surface straining to escape. With a small moan Kathryn broke the kiss and stepped back a little with an almost apologetic smile. As she smoothed the front of his uniform jacket, Chakotay withheld a smile of his own. He knew she was afraid of losing control and being swept away in the moment. Patiently he remained still under her hands, and watched her smile change into a shy one. She finally looked up again. "Are you ready for dessert?" she asked. Chakotay slowly pulled her back into his arms and answered with his lips pressed to hers again. "Mmm hmm." ~ end ~ Flip back to the Poems & Prose Index page!