| You know you're an irrational flaming touchy feely emotional Lefty (a/k/a Liberal, Compassionate Fascist, or Authoritarian Socialist), IF: You believe taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high. You believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding, not by a behavior. You believe that businesses create oppression and that governments create prosperity. You believe that outdoors men and hunters don't care about nature, but that pasty-faced activists who've never been outside Seattle do. You believe that having self-esteem is more important than doing something to warrant it. You believe there was no art before federal funding. You believe it is the military, not corrupt politicians, that start wars. You believe that Martin Luther King,Jr., Caesar Chavez and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison. You believe that the same government school teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is the right person to teach those same kids how to think about sex. You believe guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the tyrants of the Peoples Republic of China. You believe that standardized tests are racist, but that racial quotas and set-asides aren't. You believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked well ANYWHERE it's been tried is simply because the right people haven't been in charge. You believe that global temperatures are not affected by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the Sun, but are affected by suburban parents driving SUVs. You believe conservatives are racists, but that black people could never make it without your 'help'. You believe the free market that gives us well over 500 TV channels can never deliver the 'quality' that tax-supported PBS does. You believe the NRA is bad, because they stand up for only certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they stand up for only certain other parts of the Constitution. You honestly believe second-hand smoke is more dangerous than HIV. You believe that Hillary Clinton is really a fine lady and that Rosie O'Donnell is not really an obnoxious man. Author Unknown |
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