FOOTPRINT

The official organ of the Abu Dhabi Island Hash House Harriers AUH4


Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."
Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)

To save us all a headache…if you’ve only opened Footprints for direction to next Mondays’ Hash, as per every week, they’re AT THE BLOODY BACK

AUH4 Run Number 1542
Monday 14th January 2008
The Techno Run

The Event:
Where the hell do I start. Well this was probably the second best run of the year so far. Although the Hares had twice tried in vain to lay a trail, it was washed away again. So the hash fell on the untried and untested use of technology to navigate the streets of Abu Dhabi.
After an exhaustive and un-comprehensible instruction from Truffles as to the use of the Global Positioning System? device that was to be the hashers best friend over the next 45 minutes (the other hare - Jack’s Mum - was quite rightly too embarrassed with what was about to unfold, so chose to stay at home), the runners bumbled off and proceeded to run round and round in circles while they got up to speed with modern technology.
Although only managing to locate just 3 of the 22 landmarks set by Truffles, they quite remarkably succeeded in following the trail all the way round and back to Teaboy’s for a pool party. In doing so they turned what looked in the opening circle like a despairing evening hashing into an unbridled success for Truffles and the absent Jack’s Mum, the later whom can return to the Hash with scorn for ever having doubted the ability of the hash to cope with the use of such modern devices.

The Circle
Run Verdict
Rain washed away the trail, although unlike last week this is probably a valid excuse
It took along time to explain
Hares gave the GPS to the old man without glasses to try and ruin the chances of success
Was a complicated hash and duly awarded N241.331 by W287.215

GM – Big Ears
Big Ears first move was to appoint Thunder down Under as an enforcer, with the primary task of throwing talkers into the swimming pool. As people wearily edged away from Pashmina to avoid this fate, and at the opposite side of the circle Olivia managed to ‘accidentally’ fall in, the following were called into the circle…

Hares
Truffles in the absence of Jacks Mum took a double down-down

Makeshift ‘Hares’ that tried to work the GPS
Big Ears, Gavin and AJ
And rather more successfully, Debbie and Carpet Burns

Sacrificial Virgins
Swing Low Sweet Chariot/Sultan of/Out Sisters (delete as you see appropriate) form Phoenix Arizona, pilot Instructor here for a few years
Scorch from New Mexico, apparently same as Swing but only better
Dan, another person from Mott MacDonald with no hair - remind me never to work for them - here at the behest of Mr Clarke (aka Teaboy)
Poem from Yorkshire who doesn’t swallow
All threaten to hash again
Hash Numbers
Georg with One E for 25 runs
Others for 25 runs but had buggered off home so MISSED OUT.

Hash Social
Please pay up for Hash Ball on Thursday night. It will be fantastic with lots of something indoors, welcome drinks and wine, dancing, smooching, food and a raffle. Still a couple of spaces available if you’re quick…
Some camp hash camp with camels to be organized by someone before 14th February
Dhow trip and dinner at the Club 5th March

RA – Perthy Throwup
Sex on Hash
Debbie who came back from the run having lost a virgin and shouting ‘I did it, I did it!!’
Fairy Lights and Jan for running together again

Sex off Hash
Truffles who was spotted at an ADNOC service station near Al Ain, driving in alone and leaving with a women…
Big Ears who spent several years achieving the biggest erection in Abu Dhabi and finally unsheathing it.

The Technologically Challenging Run
AJ for whinging that they were just running around in a circle and that no-one was appreciates him
How Much for correctly stating ‘never give an officer the GPS’ and other officers past, present and future Dan, Swing and Scorch
Gavin for something
Bloody Nips for bowling in and telling Truffles ‘I heard it was a really shit run tonight’ without realizing he was the hare
VB for long-cutting
Pashmina for insisting she is here for talking, not running
PT for hoping it would rain for a wet T-shirt competition

Marine Charges
AJ, Dan and Bloody Nips for having their big guy George W over to play who brought the rain with him. In fact all the yanks were dragged in for a down-down

Achievement Charges
Man U Supporters - Ummm…just Gavin. For their 6-0 drubbing of Newcastle
All the Aussies and Kiwis – the Sullivans, Fairly Lights and Dunebasher, as some from down under spent 3 months in a canoe frantically paddling to get away from Australia and finally made in to New Zealand

Charges from the Floor
Truffles was charged by PT for apparently getting engaged, to a girl that denies being from Australia.
VB was charged by Bloody Nips as four went to Heros last Wednesday, and only one danced. By themselves. Bloody Nips was then charged for wearing a hat in the circle
Big Ears gave Down Under Thunder a drink for doing a great job as enforcer
PT charged Dan and Scorch for wearing thongs
The circle was closed and On On to the Curry!

Announcements
Don’t forget to look up the AUH4 website. Continued thanks to Sheila for putting so much effort into a GREAT website - and check out any incriminating photos of yourself:

for the main web page

for the photo album

PLEASE:
let us know if you are planning to bring a virgin along
clean up after yourself at the on-back
please shut up during hash circle!

If you haven’t hared any runs or hosted the Down-Downs, Teaboy, Georg with One E and Wet Willy would like to talk to you. We all need to take our turns:
TeaboyAndrew.clarke@mottmac.com050 626 1452
Georg with One EGeorg.vitt@mottmac.com050 667 0357
Wet WillyHerman.kao@mottmac.com
The Wadi Bih Race is on the 25th January, 72 km to be covered relay-style by a team of 5.
We have two and a bit teams entered and with one more runner can make a third.
Please contact VB ASAP if you wish to participate. Link below for website details…
http://www.wadibih.com/

Social Dates for your Diary:

Thursday 17th January 2008
HASH BALL – with Mainland and Wasps at the Club
AED 170 Members / AED 200 Non-Members

Thursday 14th February 2008
Hash Valentine’s Camp to be organized by Big Poo or AJ or someone…
TBC

Wednesday 5th March
Dhow Cruise and Buffet at the Club

Events for your Diary:
25th January 2008
WADI BIH Run
Three teams entered, space for 3 more people. Please contact VB…

21st to 23rd March 2008
WORLD INTERHASH – Perth
Please see website for details

“Hashing is a state of mind- a friendship of kindred spirits joined together for the sole purpose of reliving their childhood or fraternity days, releasing the tensions of everyday life, and generally, acting a fool amongst others who will not judge you or measure you by anything more than your sense of humor."
Stray Dog (From the Global Trash Hash Bible complete reference for the Hash House Harriers)

Hash Crap
This week some delightful whore-themed jokes. Firstly, one I received from some heightist bas***d…

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two 'working girls' and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his friend shouting out cries of... "Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE... UGH!". "Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE... UGH!". "Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE... UGH!"... ALL NIGHT LONG.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?". The first mutters,
"It was embarrassing, I just couldn't get an erection."
The second dwarf shook his head. You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't even get up on the bed."

And one for the oldies whom are numerous in our midst…
TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.
THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!'
DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
‘WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER’ HIS FRIEND SAYS,
'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'
'A WITCH, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'
'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..., TAKIN MY TEETH WITH HER.'

Next weeks Run

AUH4 Run Number 1543
Monday 21st January 2008
START TIME: 1745 Hours
HARES: Wet Willy, Teaboy and Georg with One E
LOCATION: . The car park full of school buses near the 2 schools off southeast corner of 19th Al Saada St / Airport Rd. See attached.
On back just around the corner at Chris Grose’s place. As per Kangaroo Keg’s and Perthy Throwup’s abodes.


Don’t forget –
· Please recycle all cans – Perthy will take all cans back to assist their Harriss with an early return to Bangladesh – so please put all food scraps in a separate bag
· If you haven’t Hared any runs or hosted the Down downs Teaboy, Georg with one E and Herman would like to talk to you. We all need to take our turns
· Numbers have been climbing so if you are bringing Virgins along please let Hash Committee know as we would hate to be embarrassed by shortage of food and even worse run out of Hash Water



AUH4 WEBSITE
Don’t forget to look up the AUH4 website. Many thanks to Sheila for putting so much effort into a GREAT website - and check out any incriminating photos of yourself!!
Web site - where you are now
Click to be transported to photo site No longer accessible to anyone in the UAE! New Photo Site

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