Fraternidad Universal

RIASE CON NOSOTROS

Reirse de uno mismo es siempre muy sano. A continuación le ofrecemos algunos chistes de masones sobre masones. Lamentablemente solo podemos ofrecérselos ahora en inglés, pero esperamos que en un futuro próximo podamos dárselos traducidos y adaptados.

A postman, on his route, picked up a letter from a mailbox that was addressed to GOD. The postman, seeing that the letter was not sealed, and there being no postage on it, opened and read it. It was from a man who was down on his luck, and was asking God for help. The letter asked for $50 to get his family through the next week. The postman, being a Mason, took the letter to Lodge that evening, read it, and asked for donations for the unfortunate fellow. The Masons, wanting to help, took up a collection, and received twenty five dollars from the brethren. The Secretary placed the cash in a Lodge envelope, and gave it to the postman to deliver the following day, which he did. Another day passed, and the postman again found an unsealed letter in the mailbox addressed to GOD. Again he opened and read the letter, which thanked God for the money, but instructed him to send any future funds through the Knights of Columbus, as the Masons had kept half.

There's a man, walking down the street at 1 in the morning and he's very drunk. A policeman stops him and asks: Where are you going in that condition? Man: II'mm on mmyy waayyy to a lectttuurre on FFreemmassonnrrry. Officer: Where can you possibly get a lecture on Freemasonry at this time of night? Man: Frromm mmyy wifffe, wwhenn I gget homme!
Q: How many Masons does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?
A: It's a secret!
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Q: How many Masons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in, one to read the minutes of the previous lightbulb replacement, and one to sit on the sidelines and complain about the way they USED to screw in lightbulbs.
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How many Masons does it take to change a lightbulb?
After much research this tricky question can now be answered. It takes 20, as follows:
2 to complain that the light doesn't work.
1 to pass the problem to either another committee, Temple Board or Master of the Lodge.
3 to do a study on light in this Lodge.
2 to check out the types of lights the Knights of Columbus use.
3 to argue about it.
5 to plan a fund-raising dinner to raise money for the bulb.
2 to complain that "that's not the way we did it before."
1 to borrow a ladder, donate the bulb and install it.
1 to order the brass memorial plate and have it inscribed.

A little before Lodge is about to open an old man totters up to the Tyler and says, "I'm here to receive my 2nd degree." Well, they all look at this guy, who really is older than dirt, and they ask him to explain. "I was entered on July 4, 1922. Now I'm ready for my 2nd degree." So they go scurrying for the records, and sure enough, there was his name, entered on July 4, 1922. "Where have you been all these years? What took you so long to be ready for your 2nd?" they ask. Reply: "Learning to subdue my passions!"

Pat & Bill had been Lodge Brothers for many years. They had promised each other long ago that the first to go to the Grand Lodge above would return to tell the other whether there really were Lodges in Heaven and what they were like. By and by, it came to pass that Bill went first. One day shortly after, Pat was working in his garden when he heard a whispered voice, " Pssst Pat!" He looked around but saw nothing. A few moments later he heard, now quite clearly " Pat! Its me, Bill!" "Bill" Pat exclaimed, " are you in Heaven?" " Indeed I am " said Bill. Pat paused for a while to get over the shock and then said " Well, Bill, are there Lodges up there in Heaven?" "There certainly are, Pat. There are Lodges all over and they are quite magnificent, equal or better to Great Queen Street. The meetings are well attended, the ritual is word perfect, the festive board fantastic and the spirit of Masonic Fellowship is all pervasive." " My goodness,Bill," said Pat, " It certainly sounds very impressive but for all that you seem rather sad. Tell me old friend, what is the matter." " Well, Pat, you are right. I have some good news and some bad." " OK, Whats the good news?" " The good news is that we are doing a 3rd this coming Wednesday" "Great" said Pat. " What's the bad news then?" " You're the Senior Deacon!"

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