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Timeline
(Reviewed November 19, 2003)
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Cheap, obvious, predictable. Did I mention "cheap?"
"Timeline" looks and plays like a made-for-cabler. I've seen episodes of "Sliders" that would have made better movies than this. The time
machine is about as technologically impressive as a three-way mirror at Macy's. The romance between Paul ("The Fast and the Furious") Walker and some brainy cold-fish archaeologist is
laughably preposterous. There is no depth here at all, and not much sense, either.
I did learn a couple of things from "Timeline," though. (Okay, three, if you count "avoid subsequent Paul Walker movies.") First, those huge, catapult-like devices that fling massive flaming
boulders at a castle are called trebuchets (treb-yoo-shays'). Second, "Greek fire" is a composition that makes fire spread the more it gets wet.
Oh, so you knew those things already, huh? Well good for you,
Brainiac. GFY!
Back Row Grade: D-
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