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Tears of the Sun
(Reviewed February 28, 2003)
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The stunningly, amazingly, jaw-droppingly beautiful Monica Bellucci and a bunch of African natives get rescued by Bruce Willis's sharing-and-caring band of US soldiers from ravaging, scary hordes of Nigerians. The end.
Honestly, that's all there is to this movie, and you've seen all of it in the TV ad. There is some nice photography, and Monica leaves her safari shirt unbuttoned far enough to delight cleavage fans during a few run-through-the-jungle scenes, but that's about it. Guns go bang, a few characters don't make it, you know the drill.
The only market I can envision for this movie consists of people who want to delude themselves into thinking that the United States will be doing the "right thing" by blowing the shit out of Iraq and killing lots and lots of its innocent civilians, then spending the next 50 years rebuilding the goddamned place with untold billions of American tax dollars. Great plan, huh?
VOTE LIBERTARIAN, people!
Back Row Grade: D
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