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Chasing Papi
(Reviewed April 9, 2003)
-
I know I can't be the only Anglo guy who ends up watching embarrassingly long segments of cheap-'n'-cheesy all-Spanish soap operas while idly flipping channels with my pants off. (Wait, strike that last part) I have no idea what the shows' characters are saying, I don't have a clue about the intricacies of the "plots," all I know is that lots of the female characters are trashily, irresistibly, ridiculously caliente. (Okay, I know at least one word.)
"Chasing Papi" is like a comedy from one of those networks done in English...which is both good and bad. Good because, hey, lotsa nice-lookin' wimmens. Bad because the whole production is cheap, cheesy and insultingly dumb. ("But if you can't understand the language, how can you say the Spanish soap operas are dumb?" Because I'm a provincial, xenophobic American yahoo, of course! Any more questions?)
Essentially, "Chasing Papi" is like a moronic soft-core porn movie with absolutely zero nudity. Three stereotypical bimbos--a Charo-like cocktail waitress, a smart-but-sexy lawyer, and a ripe lil' princess--all have the hots for a Latin stud who makes all women swoon. I think this is called "covering all bases." The girls bounce around, bitch at each other, and eventually bond. Sofia Vergara, whom I recall looking a whole lot better in last year's Tim Allen bomb "Big Trouble," is the loud, low-class "coochie-coochie" clone. Roselyn Sanchez is a skinny Sandra Bullock lookalike (and "act-alike," unfortunately--like Bullock, she has no flair for subtlety, slapstick physical humor or anything in between). Laci Velasquez was my favorite of the trio, a fresh-faced, incredibly healthy-looking brat who definitely knows how to wear a pair of tight white pants. Although I never had heard of her, she apparently is a rather popular singer in countries where people care about the World Cup.
If this shows up on Telemundo or Univision...well, it still won't be any damned good. But maybe you'll be lucky enough to see it dubbed into Spanish, in which case you can pretend everybody is being a lot more witty and filthy.
Back Row Grade: D
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