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"Teddy Bears' Picnic"
(Reviewed April 8, 2002)
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Good lord, is this ever a lousy movie. What makes that shocking is that "Teddy Bears' Picnic" was written and directed by "Spinal Tap" member,"Simpsons" voice talent and "Le Show" radio program host Harry Shearer, who also appears in a small on-screen role. This guy is witty, funny and clever--but none of those qualities are to be found here.
The premise here should have been a goldmine of opportunities for vicious satire, but the movie settles for obvious jokes and what looks like a whole lot of woefully uninspired improvisation. The setting is a woodland retreat akin to the real world's Bohemian Grove, where the rich and powerful go to act like carefree idiots and bond, far from the prying eyes of people like you and me.
There was only one thing I enjoyed about this limp romp: The stunningly beautiful actress Ming-Na, best known to most of the world as a cast member of "E.R." Since I am one of those smug intellectuals who never watches what passes for TV dramas, I had no idea who she was until I read her biography, but she is so knockout-nice that I'm thinking of becoming a regular viewer. Well, okay, not really. But she is pretty hot looking, even though she never sheds a single article of clothing.
Back Row Grade: F
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