Part I
Timeline: Haven’t a clue, but happier times in each series. Say season one in the West Wing and An AU Happy S6 in Buffy. Come on, no one told me crossovers have to be realistic…….
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: Joss Whedon owns BtVS, Aaron Sorkin owns the West Wing. I’m just deeply jealous.
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“I – ah – had a phone call,” revealed Giles, entering the room.
“No way!” said Buffy. “Cos when the phone rang, and you answered it and you went in the next room to have a conversation – well, we never guessed.”
“We are skilled in the art of deductiveness,” added Xander, before wondering, “Is deductiveness a word?”
“What’s the bad, Giles?” asked Buffy, noting the Watcher’s unusual reticence in picking on Xander.
“It’s….” He stopped and looked around the table. Buffy, Willow, Tara, Dawn, Xander, Anya and Spike, sitting there, looking at him expectantly.
“Perhaps we need to speak in private, Buffy.”
Seven outraged voices were raised in disgust. Giles continued his survey, his glance lingering on Spike, Xander, Anya and Dawn.
“No,” he said, with more determination. “It’s important.”
“Unlike that stuff we usually do when we save the world?” questioned Xander.
“N – Yes!” said Giles.
“We’ve killed the Master and the Mayor and Adam and Glory and you don’t think we can help with this?” said Willow, looking hurt.
“It’s not…..it’s different,” said Giles, shuffling uncomfortably.
“Giles, spill,” said Buffy firmly. “If it’s a big deal, we need everyone on board.”
“It shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s just….it’s sensitive information.”
“You don’t trust us with sensitive information? Well, I’m just shocked!” smirked Spike, to be cuffed around the head by Buffy.
“Giles, you can trust everyone in this room, you know you can,” she assured her Watcher. “Now, tell, before I beat you up! Or - not.”
“That was – the White House on the phone,” admitted Giles slowly.
“Yeah, that’d be funny. Cos the White House is where the president lives,” laughed Xander. “Hang on – no way!”
“Yes, that White House,” said Giles. “I spoke to a senior advisor.”
“The president is a demon!” yelled Xander. “I knew it!”
“No, the *last* president was a demon,” corrected Willow. “President Bartlet is cool. I voted for him. He’s not a demon, is he?” she asked Giles.
“No, the president is not a demon. Nor is the First Lady,” he added, heading off a question from Xander. “They’ve found a – something – in the White House. Obviously, it’s a matter of great concern.”
“Yeah. Because if we’ve got a Something, then the Russians will want a Something too. Before you know it we’re into the Something Wars and the world will never be the same again. Disastrous.” Willow shook her head as Tara laughed.
“Yes, it’s all very funny. And if we mess this up, you’ll find yourselves in army experimentation labs and I’ll be deported,” said Giles grimly.
“Why?” demanded Willow indignantly. “Why labs?”
“Slayer, Witch, Witch, Key, Vengeance demon, Vampire,” recited Giles, pointing to each in turn.
“Hey! How’s about that? I’m human!” crowed Xander. Realisation hit him. “I’m the only human at this table!”
“Witches are human too,” Tara reminded him, as Willow backed her up with some good scowling and Buffy pointed to her sister in a threatening way. Xander held up his hands in defeat.
“Again, I feel we need to take this quite seriously,” said Giles. “Please, for the love of god, can we take this seriously?”
“Sure,” said Buffy, laying a comforting hand on his arm. “What’s the demon and how do we kill it?”
“Yes. Well.” Giles shuffled once more.
“Because taking it seriously would involve knowing these things?”
“True,” admitted Giles. “But these people don’t know one demon from another. They never knew such thing existed. They’re lawyers, Buffy.”
“I have to fight lawyers *and* demons?” grouched Buffy.
“No, you have to save the lawyers *from* the demons,” corrected Giles.
“That’s so not in my mission statement,” she complained. “My job sucks.”
“Your job is to kill demons. If you can kill one for your president, well, that’s quite an honour isn’t it?” Giles looked at her hopefully.
“Okay. True. But only cos he’s a nice president. And how did they get your number?”
“Well, it’s the White House. All-knowing and all-seeing?” offered Giles.
“Probably know about us from when the Initiative was here,” suggested Willow, to a loud snort from Spike.
“See how you all like being experimented on!” he snapped.
“No one will be experimented on,” said Giles firmly. “We will sort this problem out. Probably a very minor demon, you know. Everything will go precisely according to plan and I will not be deported.”
“So we’re going to the White House?” squeaked Willow, clapping in excitement.
“Well, ‘we’ is such an all-encompassing term,” blustered Giles. “Some of us need to go to the White House, yes.”
“Some of us will have to carry the weapons,” offered Spike.
“No way! Spike gets to go to the White House? I wanna go!” said Xander.
“It would be sooo educational, Buffy. Please?” begged Dawn.
“Yes. Because I had that lobotomy last week and now I let you patrol with me. You get to kill dangerous demons and I let you handle major weaponry. No!”
“Oh come on, it’s the White House! How dangerous could it be?”
Buffy exchanged a glance with Giles.
That remained to be seen.