Antonio's Page

In Loving Memory of
Antonio Giovanne Garvey
December 8, 1999 - December 21, 1999

MY DEAREST SON ANTONIO, TODAY I SIT HERE WRITING YOU, WANTING TO SHARE WITH YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU AND HOW MUCH I THINK OF YOU EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY... I THINK OF YOU & MY HEART ACHES AS YOU'RE NOT HERE WITH ME TO TOUCH TO HOLD TO TALK TO... TO SEE YOU GROW, SEE YOU WALK, TALK, GIVE THOSE GENTLE TOUCHES AND HUGS THAT YOUR BROTHER ANGELO GIVES. AS I WRITE THIS LETTER TO YOU, THE TEARS ROLL DOWN MY FACE... TEARS OF EMPTINESS AND SADDNESS AND ALSO TEARS OF JOY. MY HEART IS SAD AS I AM REMEMBERING THE VERY FIRST CRY I HEARD WHEN YOU WERE BORN... HOW YOU & ANGELO WERE CRYING AT THE SAME TIME. IT PLAYS OVER AND OVER IN MY HEAD. WHAT I WOULD NOT GIVE TO HEAR THAT CRY AGAIN, I REMEMBER CRYING I COULD NOT BELIEVE I WAS FINALLY A MOTHER. I WAS SCARED, BUT HAPPY TO HAVE YOU AND ANGELO IN MY LIFE AND SO EXCITED TO BE A GOOD MOM TO YOU BOTH.

I ALSO REMEMBER BEING SO SCARED WHEN THE HOSPITAL STAFF CAME TO ME AND TOLD ME YOU HAD TO GO TO A DIFFERENT HOSPITAL BECAUSE YOU NEEDED MORE CARE, AND THEY DID NOT HAVE THE EQUIPMENT FOR YOU SINCE YOU WERE SUCH A TINY 3LBS 10 OZ BOY, 15 INCHES LONG. YOU HAD CURLY HAIR AND SUCH A BEAUTIFUL COMPLEXION, AND YOU HAD MY FINGERS AND TOES AND MY EARS, YOUR LIPS WERE SO PRECIOUS AND PERFECT, AND YOUR EYEBROWS WERE SO FULL FOR SUCH A YOUNG BABY. HAVING YOU AND ANGELO THE DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY WAS THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT GOD COULD HAVE GIVEN TO ME. YOU WERE SO WANTED! I WENT THROUGH SO MUCH TO GET PREGNANT. I REMEMBER AFTER 2 WEEKS OF MY PREGNANCY, FINDING OUT I WAS HAVING TWINS. I WAS SO HAPPY I SCREAMED THE WHOLE WAY HOME! I WAS SO VERY HAPPY, AND I LOVED YOU FROM THE VERY START. I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU AND ANGELO MOVED... IT WAS ALWAYS DURING THE EVENING AND NIGHT. YOU BOTH MUST OF SLEPT DURING THE DAY? YOU GAVE ME AN EXPERIENCE THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER KNOWN, AND I FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE HAD THE CHANCE TO HAVE YOU, TO BE A PART OF YOU, AND FOR YOU TO BE A PART OF ME AND MY HEART AND SOUL. THE WORST TIME WAS DECEMBER 12TH WHEN YOUR DAD AND I MET WITH A TEAM OF DIFFERENT DOCTORS, AND THEY ALL HAD DIFFERENT ANSWERS AND RECOMENDATIONS. AND YOUR DAD AND I DID NOT WANT TO LET YOU GO, EVEN KNOWING THE CHANCES OF YOU LIVING WERE 20%. WE KNEW THAT THIS WAS A TEST, AND WE KNEW THAT YOU WERE A FIGHTER, AND YOU WERE TILL THE VERY END. I REMEMBER COMING TO THE HOSPITAL, AND THE DOCTOR LETTING ME HOLD YOU
FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME...

The first time Antonio's mom was allowed to hold him was his 10th day of life.
He was still on the ventilator.

Antonio was also on the ventilator the first time his dad got to hold him.

THAT NIGHT I FELT YOUR PAIN, AND I FELT YOUR SUFFERING. AND I KNEW THAT YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE US DUE TO ALL THE PROBLEMS YOU WERE HAVING. AND IT WAS SO VERY HARD FOR ME TO PUT YOU DOWN AND BACK INTO YOUR BED. I WASN'T NOT SURE IF I WOULD GET TO HOLD YOU AGAIN...AND I DID, ON THE DAY WE TOOK YOU OFF LIFE SUPPORT... I WAS SCHEDULED TO TAKE YOU OFF LIFE SUPPORT AT 1:00 PM, AND I REMEMBER THE TIME WAS GETTING LATER AND LATER. I WAS HAVING MIXED FEELINGS OF LETTING YOU GO. YOUR GRANDMA AND YOUR GRANDMA REENY, YOUR FATHER AND I ARRIVED AT 2:30, ALONG WITH YOUR BROTHER.

After they took Antonio off the ventilator, he lived here on earth for 45 minutes,
visiting with his mom and dad...

...and here Antonio is visiting with his paternal grandmother...

...and here is Antonio visiting with his Grandma Reeny. Sadly, she has joined Antonio in Heaven.
Please visit her web page at In Loving Memory of My Beloved Mother

WE HELD YOU AND HELD YOU SO YOU WOULD NOT BE ALONE AS YOU ENTERED INTO HEAVEN. I REMEMBER YOU WERE IN YOUR DADS ARMS AS YOU TOOK YOUR LAST BREATH, AND I REMEMBER HOLDING YOU FOR 2 HOURS AFTER YOU PASSED AWAY...

In this picture, Antonio takes his last breath cradled in his daddy's arms.

I KNEW I WOULD NEVER HOLD YOU AGAIN... EVERY DAY I THINK OF THAT TIME AND THOSE DAYS. I KNOW NOW THAT I WAS VERY LUCKY TO HAVE SPENT THOSE 13 DAYS WITH YOU, AND TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I KNOW YOU'RE IN A BETTER PLACE. I KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T SEE YOUR FACE, I KNOW YOU'RE LOOKING DOWN ON ME, SAYING EVERYTHING IS OK. I KNOW YOU ARE MINE AND ANGELO'S AND YOUR DAD'S GUARDIAN ANGEL AND SOMEDAY WE WILL JOIN YOU AND HOLD YOU AGAIN IN OUR ARMS. I KNOW THAT YOU'RE UP THERE WITH YOUR RELATIVES THAT WE HAVE LOST ALONG THE WAY IN LIFE AND THAT YOU'RE SMILING AND SINGING AND DANCING... AND YOU ARE MOST OF ALL, FREE OF SUFFERING, FREE OF PAIN, AND THAT MAKES MY LOSS A SACRIFICE WORTH DOING. I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, AND THAT YOU ARE STILL WITH ME ALL OF THE TIME IN MY HEART IN MY SOUL AND MY MIND. I AM GOING TO END THIS LETTER BY SAYING WE MISS YOU SO MUCH, AND WE LOVE YOU FOREVER... AND YOU'RE A VERY SPECIAL PERSON AND A LOVED ANGEL. I HOPE YOU ARE PAINTING RAINBOWS IN THE SKY WITH YOUR ANGEL FRIENDS AND SITTING ON YOUR GRANDPA'S LAP SMILING DOWN ON US......

This is a loving gift to Angel Antonio from my dear friend, Carol, mom to Angel Michael.

A note from Antonio's mom: "Here is a song I sang at a support group
and keep it on my desk to get me through each day. I would like it on the web page."

YOU'RE IN MY HEART TODAY THERE ARE MANY THINGS I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU,
IF THERE HAD BEEN A CHANCE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
BUT YOU WERE GONE SO SUDDENLY, IT TOOK THE BREATH AWAY FROM ME,
AND STILL I JUST CAN NOT UNDERSTAND WHY.
SO I AM GOING TO WRITE A LETTER TO YOU AND SHARE SOME THINGS
I NEVER GOT TO SAY...
AND THOUGH YOU CANNOT BE RIGHT HERE BESIDE ME,
I HEAR YOUR VOICE...
YOU'RE IN MY HEART TODAY

THIS WAS MY FIRST MOTHERS DAY LETTER AND I'D LIKE TO
SHARE IT WITH OTHERS ~ DATED MAY 7, 2000 DEAR MAUREEN,
YOU MAY REMEMBER ME. I'M DAWN, ONE OF THE NURSES THAT CARED FOR LITTLE ANTONIO IN THE NEONATAL INTENSIVE CARE UNIT AT MEMORIAL. I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN IN TOUCH, BUT I WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE OFTEN BEEN IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS SINCE
YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE BOY DIED.
NOW AS MOTHER'S DAY APPROACHES, MY HEART ESPECIALLY GOES OUT TO YOU, AND I WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU. I KNOW YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL TWIN AT HOME, AND THAT MOTHER'S DAY WILL BE VERY SPECIAL BECAUSE OF HIM. STILL, IT WILL BE A SAD DAY, TOO, AS YOU MOURN THE ABSENCE OF LITTLE ANTONIO. IT'S INCREDIBLE HOW MUCH A MOM CAN LOVE A CHILD ENTRUSTED TO HER CARE FOR SUCH A SHORT TIME! I HOPE THAT AMIDST THE TEARS YOU WILL BE ABLE TO REMEMBER THE JOY OF CARRYING HIM,OF GIVING BIRTH TO HIM, AND LOVING HIM. YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO HOLD HIM IN YOUR ARMS NOW, BUT YOU ARE HIS MOTHER NONE-THE-LESS. YOU DON'T GET TO CARE FOR HIM AND GUIDE HIM AS HE GROWS UP, BUT YOU DID GIVE HIM LIFE. AND NOW...HE IS EXPERIENCING EVERLASTING LIFE...WHERE HE WAITS FOR THE DAY WHEN YOU CAN ALL BE TOGETHER...FOREVER! SO, GO AHEAD,CELEBRATE MOTHER'S DAY!
EVEN THOUGH THERE IS GREAT SADNESS, YOU HAVE MUCH
FOR WHICH TO CELEBRATE!
MAY GOD GIVE YOU COMFORT AND STRENGTH IN THE DAYS AHEAD AS YOU GRIEVE,BUT MAY YOUR JOYS ALSO BE ABUNDANT AS YOU LOVE
AND CARE FOR ANTONIO'S TWIN.
SINCERELY, DAWN PERRIN

OH MOTHER, MY MOTHER OH MOTHER, MY MOTHER, I TOUCH YOUR TEARS,
INVISIBLE FINGERS SOOTHING YOUR SKIN
I KNOW YOU THINK OF ME SO OFTEN IN THE DAY,
IN THE NIGHT, IN YOUR DREAMS
GOING INTO ANGELO'S AND MY NURSERY
KNOWING I'LL NEVER BE THERE
BUT I AM....
IN YOUR HEART IN YOUR SOUL, I SHALL ALWAYS BE
FOR YOU GAVE SO UNSELFISHLY OF YOURSELF.
INSIDE OF YOU, YOU CREATED SUCH A WORLD FOR ME
A WORLD OF LAUGHTER, OF LOVE,
OF SADNESS, OF SORROW, EVERY EMOTION
PEOPLE COME TO KNOW YOU SHARED WITH ME.
AND EVEN THOUGH I MAY NEVER FEEL
YOUR ARMS AROUND ME AGAIN
(UNTIL WE ARE REUNITED),
I FELT YOUR HEART BEATING LIKE A LULLABY,
SINGING ME TO SLEEP
AND YOUR SPIRIT GIVING ME A SAFE HAVEN
ALREADY PROTECTING ME,
NURTURING ME, PREPARING ME OF THINGS TO COME.
BUT SOMETIMES THE JOURNEY OF LIFE
PULLS SOULS APART AND YES,
I HAD TO GO ON TO ANOTHER PLACE.
I WISH I COULD STAY
I WISH THIS WAS A DECISION I COULD MAKE
AND I KNOW YOU DO TOO.
KNOW THIS WHEREVER YOU ARE:
I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOURS
WAS THE FIRST LOVE, THE FIRST JOY,
THE FIRST SOUL I WILL EVER KNOW
YOU GAVE ME THE COURAGE TO GO ON IN MY JOURNEY
I HOPE I CAN DO THE SAME FOR YOU.
YOUR HEART BEAT WILL ALWAYS CALL ME TO YOU. LOVE, YOUR CHILD ANTONIO GIOVANNE GARVEY

This is Antonio's surviving twin, Angelo Laurencio Garvey.

Click on the words below to see the page dedicated
from Angelo to his brother, Angel Antonio...

Below are pictures of Antonio's little brother, Mario Kymani Garvey, born on March 18, 2003.

And here is Antonio's newest little brother, Lorenzo Mikhale Garvey, born on September 19, 2004.

To a Very Special ANGEL
Antonio will be with you always
MY LOVE
Sue-Anne/LEE

In Loving Memory of Lee Henry Aguilera

My Angel Son Michael

Click on the words below to visit Antonio's Awards Page...

Please remember to visit Happy Birthday Antonio

Please also visit Merry Christmas Antonio!

Please remember to also visit Our Holiday Angels Page

Antonio also has a Memorial on the Multiples Angels Network ~

And Antonio is listed on the Neonatal Memorial Wall
on Angel Babies Forever Loved

To visit Antonio's very special and precious Quilt Page,
please click on the image below ~

The image and poem below are special gifts for Antonio from my sweet and thoughtful friend Pammi.

A Message From Heaven

I am not so far from you,
Just a little way beyond;
Past the cares and past the pain,
Far past my earthly bonds.
When you feel you miss me most,
As years go drifting by;
Each memory will prove to you,
That our love will never die.

For memories are but a touch,
From the Father's gentle hand;
To heal your pain and mend your hearts,
To help you understand...
That while I left you far too soon,
I did not leave alone;
For the Father sent His angels,
To gently take me home.

Take comfort when you think of me,
Keep my love alive in your heart;
And with the warmth of each memory,
We will never be apart.
Allison Chambers Coxsey, copyright 1996
Used with permission

Maureen,
I know how much your heart must be aching these past two weeks as you remember this sweet little angel
that you had only for a short time. He is yours forever.
You will be in my prayers as you walk the sorrowful path we all must now follow.
God be with you
Love
Ann, Laurasmom

SPECIAL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO ACKNOWLEDGE &
THANK MARIA; SHE DONATED SO MUCH OF HER TIME & EFFORTS TO
HELP ME COMPLETE THIS PAGE FOR MY ANGEL ANTONIO.
TO KNOW HER IS TO LOVE HER, FOR HER INSPIRATION
COMES FROM THE LOVE SHE HAS FOR HER BELOVED SON CHRIS.
I JUST WANT TO SHARE THEY ARE BOTH ANGELS TO ME. LOVE FROM MAUREEN, ANTONIO'S AND ANGELO'S MOMMY