Steven is the type of brother that makes even lesbians wonder why all men are not just like him. He is gentle, sexy, confident, handsome, and kind. So secure in his sexuality that gaybashing is unnecessary. So deeply intelligent that sexist insecurity is a trifle. So effortlessly sensual, with a sexy voice that matches his magnetic aura.

Steven pens the most tender, intimate, emotional, and introspective columns that I have ever read by any man. Unlike most men, he is strong enough to be publicly vulnerable. He is honest enough to be open. He is talented enough to be engrossing always.

Steven and I share an intimate spiritual connection beyond labels. He is my ideal man and fellow musicologist. I love Steven for many special reasons, but primarily because he truly loves women. Most brothers talk a good game about being feminists and caring about women. But they are really just misogynistic court jesters, verbally posing as Kings.

I am a lesbian. But, if I was bisexual or heterosexual, I would try to be Mrs. Ivory… I have been in love with Steven since I was a teen fan of his writing in Soul Magazine. Then, he moved from being my favorite writer to a media God when he set off Bernadette Cooper’s music video “I Look Good” . I adore this video still. Today, I am very proud to call Steven my friend…

I was truly fanatic about the sista band Klymaxx. I lost my entire mind when I saw their first video for “The Men All Pause”. I had the band’s posters and album covers all over the walls of my campus apartment at UIUC. I joked with friends about my temporary desire to drop out of college and become their roadie.

I loved all of their hit songs like “Meeting in the Ladies Room”, “I’d Still Say Yes”, “I Miss You”, “Divas Need Love Too”, and “This is for the Old Dawg in You”. I even loved the obscure tunes performed by solo artists Bernadette Cooper and Joyce “Fenderella” Irby, after Klymaxx broke up. I was also a fan of Bernadette’s spin off group Madam X. “Just that Type of Girl” is still the jam!

Steven interviewed Bernadette in her best music video. It was in that video that I heard his voice for the first time. It is silkier than Frankie Beverly’s crooning voice. It is warmer than Frankie Crocker’s studio voice. It is deeper than Don Cornelius’ film voice. And, it magically matches the soothing voice of his pen.

Very few Black men walk the talk about being lovers of women as truly equal people. Like Derrick Bell and Michael Eric Dyson, Steven actually practices what he preaches about us sisters. He has proven his reverence for women, in his comical and warm look at the seriously chaotic waters of dating and other relationships, in his wonderful book “Fool in Love: One Man’s Search for Romance…or Something Like It”.

Even as a lesbian who dates African-American clones exclusively, I can relate to all Steven pens in this book. I absolutely hate dating because it is too stressful. Irrespective of race, gender, sexuality, or class, noble, sober, and sane people are just too rare. Most dating is just a colossal waste of time. I have tortured myself by prolonging the deaths of toxic relationships just to avoid the more toxic tortures of dating.

Like all Leos, I am very shy beneath my confident public persona. Inside every lioness is a frightened kitten, longing to purr rather than roar. It is much easier to be regal than to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability is what Steven pens best. In “Fool in Love: One Man’s Search for Romance…or Something Like It”, he shares the intimate memoirs of many memorable women he has dated. These are unique women of all races and all walks of life. But, his sagas with them explore universal life issues. His essays cover all of the meaningful relationships in Steven’s life. They include his bonds with teachers, friends, and siblings.

In these charming portraits from Steven’s love life, we all see snapshots of ourselves or persons we have dated. He covers the trials and tribulations of awkward meetings with extended families, annoying indoor pets, wardrobe woes, personalities, neuroses, and other ingredients that form the thin lines between love and hate on dates.

My favorite essays in this book are those Steven penned about his beloved mother. I adore my mom too. I have found that people who do not love their mothers never really love themselves or anyone else. My mother’s love is my salvation in this sexist, gaybashing, and racist world that is triply cruel to me.

Her love keeps me whole while so many people and issues seek to shatter me. Steven loves his mother. She is a Queen who reared a King. Their special and eternal bond is literally tangible in the pages of this loving book.

In “Fool in Love: One Man’s Search for Romance…or Something Like it”, Steven spins masterful, engrossing, and romantic short essays on love and loss. It is ideal and breezy summer reading. It will make you laugh, cry, and sigh with relief. Read this charming book by an equally charming dear brother today. Enjoy.

{Dear Steven, my regal brother writer… I adore your work…you hold up half of my sky…Love Always…AB}

Here are a few excerpts from “Fool in Love: One Man’s Search for Romance…or Something Like It”:

You never know what cross even the most seemingly “together” woman bears, or what she is liable to embrace to console herself.

…I know that at the core of most women, no matter their culture or background, is a fragile, hopeful little girl.

…I know that even in a bad relationship, good sex can go a long way.

Asleep, all of us revert to a purity of heart that is elusive while we are conscious; even the most notorious criminal is innocent while he sleeps.

…being comfortable with my own company served me well in growing up without a mother.

… I know when a woman is fed up. She doesn’t have to say a word. Her body language will speak volumes of her discontent.

Whoever turned the other on to the place keeps it.

What a way to hit the hay, at the loving hands of a parent.

Despite many Mother’s Days without her, Mama is still with us, because we are her.

I don’t remember exactly when I discovered masturbation, but when I did, it was a good day.

Even as a child, it occurred to me that God could never be so rigid in His thinking when there seemed to exist so many roads to His love.

Insecurity’s henchman, jealousy creates maddening ideas in your head and nibbles at your very soul with anger and mistrust.

Good times aside, marriage is about cleaning up the vomit when the normally capable partner reverts to age five after contracting the flu.

Life is about facing fears, no matter how big, small, or completely asinine.

The Eloquent Fury Index

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