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ELOQUENT FURY

Most men want to outlaw sexual frustration. Some women do tease men sexually. Some women even lie about rape. But, even teasers and liars can be raped. Men who are teased have the right to masturbate until relieved of such sexual frustration, and the right to verbally expose their teasers and liars as revenge. But, no one has the right to rape as revenge for such sexual frustration.

Sex is never a right. It is always a privilege. Sex should never be forced upon any person, not even a spouse. Forced sex is always rape.

Most men seem unable to fathom such elementary logic about sexual relations. Funny how some men seem to exclusively grasp this truth when they imagine such scenarios with homosexual men...On my radical and revolutionary AM show “Outlook”, rape is a favorite and frequent hot topic of debate. Once in Atlanta at WIGO, a Morehouse college athlete called in and set the show off with his rabid misogyny and his arrogantly ignorant and boldly remorseless celebration of routine gang rapes in athletic dorms. I will never forget that caller. He is the primary reason that I was not surprised to read of the recent brutal gay hate crime that occurred on that very same campus. Sexism and gaybashing are deeply interrelated...

Most men can only relate to the sexual vulnerability of vaginal penetration when they can imagine themselves being penetrated by a gay man. I often ask them to imagine that they are drunk and mutually experimenting willingly with a gay man...This anal penetration becomes painful and they ask the gay man to stop and withdraw....He refuses to do so and forces them to remain prone until he has ejaculated within their wounded and rigid bodies. Then I ask: "Is that rape?"...Only then do they answer "Yes".

Only when they envision this imaginary incident do they suddenly understand how easily and rapidly routine consensual sex can move into rape...These epiphanies on the air always remind me of my favorite scene in the superb film "A Time to Kill”. Sam Jackson is freed only when racist jurors are forced to envision his wounded black daughter as a white girl. Only then does her human pain matter...only when she has white skin. Likewise, men can only regard the pain and abuse of women when they are similarly mistreated by another man....

In specific situations, anyone can be raped and anyone can be a rapist. Sluts and teasers can be raped. Nice and gentle people can become rapists. Men rape men. Women rape women. Women rape men. Men rape women. Rape can happen to anyone by anyone at anytime...

I will not judge Kobe Bryant until a jury has done so. The only thing we know now is that he cheated on his young, thin, and beautiful wife. And, he allegedly cheated without a condom. His wife appears to be at her physical peak. This could indeed mean that she has already been sentenced to a life of infidelity without parole or protection from bio-war...

I am extremely bored and disgusted with millions of men who cheat on their wives. I am amazed that so many rich married celebrities are so careless and whorish with their lucrative semen. They have multi-million dollar bodies that they risk infecting with AIDS as casually as they might risk ingesting some excess calories in a bottle of beer. They risk costly paternity battles for years as easily as they risk losing nominal cash in a casino. I am amazed when anyone risks a solid relationship with a real adult for a one night stand with a child. I am most amazed at how vastly differently men and women define rape.

For the record, my definition of rape is: Any forced sex act, before, during, or after any initially consensual sexual touching or penetration. “No” means no. And, no may be stated at any time during any sex act.

Men teach women to play vicious sexual games with sexist double standards for healthy sexuality. When women do what most men do, they are called whores. Men are just called men. Some women say “no” when they really mean “yes” so that they will not appear to be whores. There is a modicum of poetic justice in men being tricked by the sexist tricks they invented...

Tricks are for kids. Real women and men do not play such games. They respect each other enough to say what they mean. And, they listen when spoken to and immediately act accordingly. Any person has the right to change their mind during sex for any reason. Adults accept these sexually frustrating choices unconditionally.

Many men are perpetual boys. These immature men define rape as impossible beyond the point of penetration. They truly believe that once any part of their body is inside any orifice of any woman, they have the macho and unalienable right to stay there and do as they wish for as long as they wish. As long as women and men define rape so very differently, rape will continue to be inflicted very often; everywhere and everyday...

For more columns on sexism and other related topics, see The Eloquent Fury Index at:

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