ourstory

My name is Stephanie. I am 25 years old.My husband is Chuck, he is
26. We have been married 3 1/2 years. He is a wonderful and supportive man! After our son was born, he encouraged me to follow my heart and stay home with Charles. So I quit my job and became what I've always wanted to be--a stay at home mom and wife. Things were wonderful and we were enjoying our little family.In July 99, we went out on a date, leaving Charles at the sitter. We had a great night at the movies. But, when we went to get Charles, our friends said, "No-it's too early, go out and enjoy yourselves." We looked at each other and said, "What did we do on dates? ......Oh yeah.....we made out!!"
So we decided to go parking. The reason this is important is, that's the
night that Amanda was conceived!We were so excited when, a few weeks later, I wasn't feeling well and we suspected that I was pregnant. So Chuck made an appointment for me and Iwent in to the Doctor. And you bet-I was pregnant! What anticipation!! Our little family was starting to grow more! Things were going well. I wasn't as sick this time, just very fatigued! But as time marched on, and my belly blossomed, the fatigue didn't matter, we were just too happy and looking forward to our new little bundle of joy. The baby's due date was April 26th, 2000.

At Christmas, I was already showing and people thought that I was due
sooner. We just said-"Nope we must grow 'em big." Charles was 10.6!! BIGBOY! Feb 2, was Charles #2 birthday, so we traded bedrooms with him for one present. The reason was, to prepare for the new baby, our room was bigger,so we thought the kids would need more space! We had bought a new crib and were planning on setting it up the coming weekend. My sister was also coming to visit, so I planned on having her help me go through the baby clothes and pick out the neutral ones. On Feb. 23rd (Wednesday), I didn't feel any movement all day and night. So I got a little worried, I read the book, "What To Expect When You're Expecting" and it said to call your doctor if you haven't felt movement for 24 hours. So the nexty morning, I called afriend of mine who also works as a nurse practitioner and asked her advice. She said to call my Doctor.

So I called and the nurse said to come right in
they'd get me in right away. So I went in to the Dr. Feb. 24th (Thrusday). I
figured that she would send me home laughing because I had been paranoid. My
worst nightmares didnšt prepare me for what came next. The Dr. couldn't find
the baby's heartbeat, she usually has no problem finding it. She acted
strange and told me that it was possible that the baby had died. I started
crying. But I didn't really believe that it could be true and figured that
the ultrasound would tell me that all was fine!She sent me to get an ultrasound. The ultrasound confirmed what she hadfeared- the baby's heart was not beating. Our baby had died. I rememberlooking at a poster on the wall and saying, łNo, no, itšs not true. Išll
just wake up and this will all be gone. Itšs not real.˛ Chuckšs mom was
there with me and she was sobbing. I remember gettting angry at her for
crying, because I thought that it wasnšt real. I thought I was in a
nightmare. I kept repeating-"No, this can't be happening to me. No. No....."
I had to call my husband on his truck and tell him. He didn't say a word,
all I heard was his sobbing. He said that he'd be there as soon as possible!
He got to the hospital 10 minutes later. It was then that it set in-our baby
had really died. We hugged and cried and cried.

We then talked to the Dr. and a couple of friends of ours that work at the
clinic/hospital. They told us our options and advised us to go home and
discuss and decide and come back in tomorrow. We went home in a state of
shock and disbelief! The baby had been so active and healthy! We couldn't
believe it!The next hours were spent crying and talking on the phone with our pastor
and friends and family. Our pastor came over right away and so did alot of
the church ladies. They put us on the prayer chain right away. Their
prayers, love and support were overwhelming that day, yet comforting.
We knew that we'd have to go back to the hospital and deliver the baby. So
we had to decide if we wanted to induce or let my body naturally go into
labor. If we decided to let my body go into labor naturally, it could take 2
weeks or more. I couldnšt bear to walk around with a dead baby inside of me
that long! It was already too much for me! The risks of waiting-it could
make me sick or affect my fertility, made us decide to induce the next day.
So Friday we went in and the Dr. examined me, I wasn't dialated at all! So
we told her we wanted to start labor that day. Well, she was off for the
weekend, so we decided to wait until she could be there rather than have a
stranger deliver our child, especially considering the circumstances.
On Monday, Feb 28th, we went in to start inducing labor. I remember asking
Dr. Bittner-"What is my motivation here? Why should I want to go through
with this? What is my reward? I don't get to take home any baby, so why?"
She was very sympathetic and caring! She reminded me that I could get sick.
She also told me that if they did another C-section that I would never be
able to have a natural delivery, I would always have to have C-sections.
Well, the recovery is so long and painful, that helped to motivate me. I was 31 weeks along,( 7 months).

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