SCENE 1 (An Amish farm. Chakie, a young Amish boy, and papa are standing infront of a barn. Both speak with think Pennsylvania-Dutch Accents)

PAPA: Chakie!
CHAKIE: Ya papa?
PAPA: Go unt feet da horses.
CHAKIE: Ya papa. (Chakie walks away from the barn toward the stable. Papa walks inside the barn) Gott, I hate feetin' da horses. (Suddenly there is a bright flash of light! Chakie falls to his knees) Oh my Gott! (Switch to Papa, inside the barn, milking a cow. On hearing the commotion, he looks up)
PAPA: Chakie! (He runs out of the barn to Chakie, still on his knees) Vat happened?
CHAKIE: It vas Gott! It vas Gott! He heard me take his name in vain!
NARRATOR: This looks like a job for ....
CHAKIE: Vas dat Gott?
PAPA: No. Dat vas da narrator.
NARRATOR: Mighty Mulder and Super Scully! (Superhero music. Mighty Mulder and Supper Scully are flying through the air. Both wear green spandex suits with a black X emblazoned on the front and tralinig yellow capes.)
SCULLY: How is it that we're flying, Mulder? This defies all logic!
MULDER: How many times have wee been over this, Scully? Just relax and enjoy the ride! (Mulder and Scully set down at the farm in front of Chakie and Papa)
CHAKIE: Who are ye?
MULDER: I'm Mighty Mulder, and this is my partner Super Scully. We're here to help.
CHAKIE: Vow! A real zuper hero and zidekeek!
SCULLY: I'm nobody's sidekick. The fact that I am a woman does not automatically make me inferior to my *partner*. I am not a decoration, I'm here to help, just like he is. Now, can you tell us exactly what happened?
CHAKIE: I vas going to feet da horses, and dere vas dis bright light in da sky. It vas Gott!
MULDER: You saw a bright light? Anything else?
CHAKIE: No. I averted my eyes.
SCULLY: I kown what you're thinking, Mulder. And I'm sure there's a ....
MULDER: A rational explanation? Look around you, Scully. There's no electricity or power lines for miles! What is there that could possibly create such intense light? (To Papa) And where were you when this was going on?
PAPA: Da barn.
SCULLY: Can you take us there? (Papa nods. The foursome walk over to the barn, and Papa opens the door. Subbenly, 20 men clad in black spandex appear out of nowhere!
MULDER: MIB! (A ferce battle begins. Mulder and Scully use all of their special FBI/Ninja moves, but they are hopelessly outnumbered. The battle ends with our heros captured, with their hands cuffed behind their backs. The MIB lead our heros towards a large black super jet).
MIB1: Into the plane!
MULDER: I don't suppose that I'll get frequent flier miles for this trip ....
MIB1: Shut up!
MULDER: (Whispered) Scully! Do you think you can reach my utility belt?
SCULLY: I think so.
MULDER: There's a small dial on the far right. Turn it up all the way.
SCULLY: Mulder, what ....
MULDER: Just do it! (Scully turns the dial. A rumbling sound begins in the distance)
MIB1: What's that?
MIB2: It sounds like "Speedos!" (The MIB are engulfed by a large hoard of women screaming "Speedos!" at the top of their lungs. Amidst the confusion, Mulder and Scully escape)
SCULLY: Mulder, what on earth was that?
MULDER: That dial controls my Charm and Sex Appeal. Let's get back to the command center.


Onto Scene 2