'Something bloody stupid's been going on here,' he said, 'and I'm going to wait quite patiently until the Dean owns up.'-- Soul Music, Terry Pratchett
Popshot is the God of Confusion. He attempts to spread that special confused grin across as many faces as possible, whether it be through the board system, the talker or some other divinely appropriate method. Excuse me, Sir Platypus, but would you be so kind as to remove your fluffy rabbit from my ear?
Any who displease the divine one will quickly find themselves lacking the ritual "fumble" and, in extreme cases, may find themselves consigned to Popshot Hell for an indeterminate period of time. While the Pizza is large, I find I have lost all will to aspirate.
Priests of Popshot can be quite offensive at times, and are provided with a number of rituals in order to facilitate the extreme confusion they feel should be the natural state of all who are able to insert a purple pickle into their nose.
He only wants worshippers who are between barely confused and as as confused as you can get.
Rituals: Along with all other rituals excepting resurrect, Popshot priests can get (subject to rank):
Rituals Granted:
High Priest and Divine Parts: All the above. Double Ministers: All the above excepting 'cause critical confusion'. All Ministers: All the above excepting 'cause critical confusion', 'cause serious confusion' and 'summon aardvark'. All Priests: All the above excepting 'cause critical confusion', 'cause serious confusion', 'summon aardvark', 'fumble thoughts' and 'major ward against confusion'. Worshippers: Worshippers recieve 'cause light confusion' and 'remove fumble'.
Priests:
Left 3/5ths of the Divine One: Potshot Right 3/5ths of the Divine One: Poptot High Priest of Popshot: Warrax Senior Ministers: Minister for Removal of Fumble: Warrax Minister for Confused Badgers: Poptot Overseer of Popshot Hell: Potshot Cabinet: Minister for Application of Planks: Warrax Possesor of the Astonished Gerbil: GlennRidge Advisor to Things in Need of Confusion: Mental Minister for Gnome-Related Mayhem: Dasquian Minister for Excited Bouncing: Hagi Minister for Organised Confusion: Independent Advisor for Religious War: Maya
Dasquian, GlennRidge, Hagi, Mental, Poptot, Potshot and Warrax.
Breathe abovewater :
Back to ritual index
This ritual enables the target to be able to breathe whilst above water. Requires that the target does indeed have lungs and may have some side effects when combined with the breathe underwater ritual including, but not limited to, only being able to breathe when standing on one hand.
Skill: faith.rituals.miscellaneous Guild points: 75 Learn at: 90 Requires: A small amount of water and some air. Consumes: The air.
Cause critical confusion :
Back to ritual index
This is the most powerful of the confusion rituals and is only granted to the High Priest and the parts of the Divine One. It will cause a very large amount of confusion but is very difficult to cast and only needs to be used in rare cases of almost anti-confusedness (which is more than just the lack of confusion).
Skill: faith.rituals.offensive Guild points: 125 Learn at: 150 Requires: Unholy Symbol. Consumes: -
Cause light confusion :
Back to ritual index
This is by far the easiest of the confusion rituals, and is granted to all worshipers. Fairly ineffective, this ritual is best used to further the confusion of an already confused mind.
Skill: faith.rituals.offensive Guild points: 20 Learn at: 10 Requires: - Consumes: -
Cause medium confusion :
Back to ritual index
This is the standard confusion ritual, providing good results with a fairly easy and cheap ritual. It is given to all Priests of Popshot and should easily confuse all but the most unconfusable.
Skill: faith.rituals.offensive Guild points: 35 Learn at: 30 Requires: - Consumes: -
Cause serious confusion :
Back to ritual index
This powerful confusion ritual is provided to the Ministers of Popshot, and though it is difficult to cast, should affect even the most unconfused.
Skill: faith.rituals.offensive Guild points: 50 Learn at: 80 Requires: - Consumes: -
Detect confusion :
Back to ritual index
This ritual will cause the target to glow a certain colour, depending on their current state of confusedness. This colour ranges from pure white for unconfused, to bright cyan for the most confused of minds. Often used to determine which confusion ritual should be used on the target to bring them to optimum confusion.
Skill: faith.rituals.misc Guild points: 30 Learn at: 10 Requires: - Consumes: -
Fumble thoughts:
Back to ritual index
This causes the target to forget immediately what they are currently thinking, causing them to be dazed and confused. This is especially useful when that pesky superior who's position you are in line for is giving a speech to their superiors. Warning: Could be serious consequences if cast upon self, since current thoughts will of course be upon casting the ritual.
Skill: faith.rituals.offensive Guild points: 90 Learn at: 80 Requires: Unholy amulet Consumes: -
Light sight:
Back to ritual index
This extremely useful ritual will give the target the ability to see its surroundings during daylight, much as if they had opened their eyes and looked around. It will not work if the target is currently blind, under the effects of dark sight, does not have eyes or indeed, if the target is dead.
Skill: faith.rituals.misc Guild points: 20 Learn at: 10 Requires: Daylight Consumes: -
Major fumble:
Back to ritual index
This is possibly the most powerful ritual given to Popshot priests, it will cause the target to drop everything they are not wearing. This will also result in a loss of 10 dexterity to the target, and the targets mother will receive an anonymous e-mail informing her that she is a hamster. Extremely powerful priests have been known to have this effect extend to the targets mother-in-law, which explains some of the recent calls by the hierarchy for an offensive.self skill.
Skill: faith.rituals.offensive Guild points: 120 Learn at: 100 Requires: Bar of Soap Consumes: Soap
Major ward against confusion:
Back to ritual index
This is the most powerful protection against bouts of confusion available. This will protect against extremely large confusion attacks, and if combined with a Popshot Ministers high natural resistance to confusion, makes it almost impossible to be confused. If used on a normal target, the protection is very strong, but a good Popshot priest should be able to break through given time. This ritual is only available to the Ministers of Popshot.
Skill: faith.rituals.defensive Guild points: 120 Learn at: 100 Requires: Alcohol Consumes: Nothing, but the Priest might like to consume the alcohol seperately.
Minor ward against confusion:
Back to ritual index
While less powerful than the major version, this can be used to extend its duration. Used on its own, its effectiveness is rather limited, especially on normal targets, though if used in conjunction with a Popshot priests natural resistance to confusion, it can make the priest very hard to confuse.
Skill: faith.rituals.defensive Guild points: 90 Learn at: 50 Requires: - Consumes: -
Remove fumble:
Back to ritual index
This ritual is available to all worshippers of Popshot, and was one of the first rituals Popshot saw fit to give His priests. Its effect is to remove all knowledge of the ritual fumble from the mind of the target, and can at times be so effective that the target will deny that they ever had the fumble ritual. It is especially effective against wizards and witches, though the ritual can be difficult for the worshippers, it is very powerful in the hands of the Popshot Priests.
Skill: faith.rituals.misc Guild points: 50 Learn at: 30 Requires: Red-hilted dagger Consumes: -
Short sight:
Back to ritual index
This will give the caster a vision of the room they are standing in, and possibly for the most powerful priests, a vision of a room which is one step away. This ritual is at its most powerful when used in combination with light sight.
Skill: faith.rituals.misc.area Guild points: 50 Learn at: 30 Requires: - Consumes: -
Summon aardvark:
Back to ritual index
This ritual will summon an aardvark which will attack the target in the back of the head, causing damage and a large amount of confusion. The ritual works by first offering the target the biscuit, then, as the biscuit is taken by the target, it is consumed and the aardvark summoned, floating behind the targets head. The major and minor wards against confusion can reduce the effects of this ritual somewhat.
Skill: faith.rituals.misc.area Guild points: 75 Learn at: 50 Requires: Drugged Biscuit Consumes: The Biscuit
|